


Second City Sin

by truelyesoteric



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 13:00:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 52,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the 1900s there was one of the most exquisite whore houses in all of Chicago, located on the Levee, the most notorious district in America. That is where Jensen met Jared.</p><p>Inside the house is a party like innocent Jared has never seen. Outside of the house there is a moral war brewing that threatens the house above Jensen's head. They exist in a world that doesn't offer them options. So they create a world that can fit the both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second City Sin

**Author's Note:**

> REPOST FROM LJ.
> 
> This is pretty historically accurate, setting wise, based on the book 'Sin in the Second City'. Minna and Ada were real people and their house was similar to as described. They didn't have guys, but the setting is real. The Levee existed around the turn of the century and so did the do gooders.
> 
> Enjoy

**Prologue: Chicago 1900.**

Jared sighed and flopped into a chair.

“What am I going to do?” Jared sighed, “I’ve studied how they wanted me to study, I’m dating the girl that they want me to date, and I’ve never given them any trouble, not a single headache!”

Chad looked at him, “Sounds like you have such problems. I hate you, you know.”

Chad was his best friend since childhood, much to the everlasting chagrin of Jared’s parents. Chad never did anything right. He failed out of four schools before giving up, he dated the most scandalous women and then he lounged in brothels; he had done nothing but give his father the blood pressure that would probably soon kill him.

Chad’s parents were the type who asked ‘why can’t you be more like Jared’ and parents were at a loss as to why Jared would spend so much time with some reckless, irresponsible child who didn’t care about his position in life, Chad was from a family of old money. They didn’t understand in what world they had raised a child who was any way Chad.

Jared was adamant though. Where he went, Chad went. What he could never explain though was that Chad was the interesting one in their dynamic. Things happened to Chad and Jared craved that a little. Chad always had stories about the most bizarre things. It made Jared jealous and their parents nervous. However Chad could get away with anything because he was old money.

Jared sighed again, “It’s just I do everything asked of me, but it’s like…” Jared waved his hand in frustration.

“You need to swat flies?” Chad guessed.

Jared glared at him, “I just never have the stories to tell, that you do.”

He let out a sigh that was like dying, “My life is nothing.”

His engagement was going to be announced soon and he would be joining his father’s firm. On paper he was more than the idea of a perfect son, he was a perfect son. There was nothing anyone could ever find on him that would show that he had been in any way corrupted.

He just wished that something interesting had happened in his life. He was what you wanted to happen to your child. At the same time internally, he wondered what he missed in between the sipped drinks. He wondered what life would be like if he saw the world rather than dreamed it.

He wondered what life would be like if he got his hands dirty.

Chad, with his epic role of less-than-morally-correct best friend – took pity on him.

Chad studied him, “I can show you. I mean I’m not saying I’m going to introduce you to a life of sin, I think your father would kill me; but one night out wouldn’t hurt you. Here, this place is better than the rest of them. It’s classy. I rarely go there but I think that it wouldn’t scare you too much.”

There was only one place that Chad could take him.

Jared leaned forward and whispered, “You want to take me to the Levee?”

The Levee was the red light district in Chicago. It was notoriously bawdy and about as far from the pristine walls of Jared’s house. Jared’s house was clean and had a bible in the hallway. Jared’s house was beyond reproach even though they were newly minted oil developers. Everything that Jared did and said was perfect.

Even something Chad declared to be ‘classy’ would be wilder than anything Jared had ever experienced. It would be the Levee, it would be new. It would be what Jared had missed.

Chad shrugged, “It’s an offer. I can take you to the Everleigh house, if you’d promise to behave yourself.”

Jared’s eyes widened and his mouth went dry, but he didn’t back away. He had heard of the Everleigh Club, everyone had heard of it whispered in places that only existed in gossip. The women were beautiful and not just anybody could get in, but if you did, it was supposed to be beyond your wildest dreams.

He took a moment to think of Sandy – beautiful sweet Sandy – whose hand he tucked into his arm as they strolled through the sunlit parks and who laughed at his jokes, but his mouth watered, and he itched to learn that thing that he didn’t know. He wanted something before he was married, before he started work, before he had a family and responsibilities greater than his own now.

He knew polite society. He didn’t know the Levee.

He wanted to know what happened at night when he was studying or sleeping.

“Can you get me in?” Jared said, hoping it didn’t come out as breathless as it felt.

Chad held out his arms, “I can do anything.”

::

Jared walked along the Levee; an area of town that he had never known how much he wanted to see and at the same time, how much he didn’t want to see. It was dirty and there were girls hanging out of broken windows. Girls wearing nothing.

Jared fumbled, feeling lost, not knowing where to look when Chad grabbed his arm, “Stop looking like you don’t belong, watch for pickpockets, and for christssake stop staring at boobs, save that for later tonight.”

Jared was about to open his mouth and say that he wanted to go home when Chad steered Jared into the door of a clean house, swelling with music that sounded tasteful, and most importantly of all? No boobs in the window.

Maybe he could do this.

Chad ushered him in and he was met by a beautiful woman who looked tiredly at Chad for a moment. Then a neutral look swept across her face and she smiled mildly at him. Then looked at Jared. Her appraisal found something in him. She definitely knew Chad, but she seemed a little wary of him.

“Hi boy,” she said, kissing Chad’s cheek, never taking her keen eyes off of Jared, “Who did you bring with you?”

“Madame Minna Everleigh,” Chad introduced with a little too much cockiness, “I’d like to introduce you to Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki.”

She smiled brightly at Jared, “And you vouch for him, Chad Michael Murray?”

Her tone asked the words she didn’t say. Chad knew what vouching for Jared meant; one couldn’t enter this establishment without a member giving their word for you. Vouching for Jared meant that Jared wasn’t a mean drunk, that he wasn’t on any substances, that he could pay for services rendered.

Chad smiled, “I vouch for him. He’s a far better man than me.”

She let out a laugh, “Not that it means much.”

Jared smiled; he liked her.

“Come into the Parlor, Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki,” Minna said taking his arm, “Lets see what works for you.”

::

Jared was content just to watch.

He watched discreetly as men poured in and the courtesans came in. Minna and another woman supervised like queen. They pointed the girls in the direction of clientele. The girls then presented plates of food for their men. Jared observed as the night took full swing. There was talking, eating, and laughter. This wasn’t what he had expected. This didn’t feel wrong.

This looked like a party, it looked so fun.

But Jared didn’t really feel the need to join in; he was content to just watch.

The men were laughing and having fun, and some, like Chad took a girl or two and went straight upstairs.

The girl that sat next to Jared was given one-word answers as Jared was just too fascinated to unravel.

He was so engrossed that he didn’t even notice Minna and another woman watching him as they entered the room. The other woman motioned for the girl next to Jared to come away, but Jared barely noticed anything but the world around him.

“First night?” a deep voice said standing next to him.

Jared looked up startled. Next to him was a man; impeccably dressed, hair completely in place, his cheeks were perfectly sculpted and his lips were carved flawlessly. Then there were those eyes looking down at him. They were guarded, but Jared saw something appraising in those eyes.

“Does it show?” Jared asked sheepishly.

“Need some help?” Jensen asked.

Jared gestured to the empty chair, “If you have a moment.”

The man offered his hand and smiled, “I’m Jensen.”

Jared smiled back, “Jared.”

Jensen sat down and leaned back, “First relax and stop eyeing the other customers. Makes them nervous, they’re not on show after all.”

Jared put his hands in his face, “Oh my god. Is it that obvious?”

Jensen let out a bark of laughter and Jared looked up. Jensen looked almost as surprised at his outburst as Jared did.

Jared took a deep breath and began speaking, he typically felt at ease with anyone and tonight that was intensified. It was just that normal rules didn’t apply tonight and he could talk to this guy, no matter what class he was. Jared was just that giddy.

“My friend Chad brought me here because I wanted to see something new and he went up with two girls and I have no idea what I’m doing, there don’t seem to be rules,” Jared said without taking a breath, “I mean am I supposed to talk to them, am I supposed to just go upstairs, am I supposed to eat, cause I’m kind of hungry…”

Jensen reached out a hand and motioned for one of the servers to come over with a plate of food. Jared watched in awe as a huge plate magically appeared.

Jared reached out suspiciously and then groaned around the food, “Oh my God, this is excellent.”

“The Everleigh sisters do everything well,” Jensen said watching Jared devour the food, “Tonight we have supreme of guinea-fowl, pheasant, capon, broiled squab, roasted turkey with au gratin cauliflower, spinach cups with creamed peas, parmesan potato cubes, pear salad with sweet dressing, stuffed cucumber salad, and browned sweet potatoes on the side.”

Jared eyes widened and waved his fork, “That is the most excellent thing I have heard. Tell me more. What do I do?”

Jensen laughed again this time true and easy, “You’re the one paying them. This is about what you want. What will make you feel good,” Jensen said and then looked at him, studying him, “Have you been with a girl?”

“Yes,” Jared yelped as if admitting innocence with Jensen was something far too embarrassing to do, “My older brother helped me do that with the maid when I was fifteen. That lasted until my father found out and then he fired the maid. I felt bad for the poor girl, but she’s married to some stonecutter in the country. I hear she’s happy.”

Jensen was grinning behind his hand, “You really don’t shut up do you kid.”

“No,” Jared admitted, “My little sister tells me I should, but she talks more than I do.”

“Well, well,” Jared said, looking into Jared’s eyes, “I have an older brother and a younger sister too, and from what I hear you’re a Texas boy as well.”

Jared dimpled, “San Antonio, we’re oil, where are you from?”

“Dallas,” Jensen told him.

“This is a pretty great place,” Jared exclaimed, “Of all the whore houses in Chicago I find a Texan in this one. That just makes this all the better.”

“So Jared,” Jensen said cocking his head, “If you relax and figure out what you want, then maybe you’ll get it.”

Jared had drank before but he’d only had one glass of wine and he couldn’t ever remember feeling this heady, was it just the shine of Jensen’s grin and the glow of his eyes? He never felt as if anyone had ever really listened to him before. He felt totally at ease.

“So how do you know so much,” Jared asked, just wanting Jensen to keep talking, “Do you come here often?”

Jensen just blinked and his smile faded a bit, “I’m not a client Jared.”

Jared tried to figure that one out, “You work here, like as a bodyguard?”

He didn’t believe that one for a minute. Jensen was too big to be a body servant and too small to be a bouncer.

Jensen smiled, looking into Jared, trying to find something. Jensen shook his head slightly, “I work here Jared. I’m a consort. You didn’t seem to be all that interested in the women, I specialize in another offering of the house.”

Jared swallowed and he titled his head. This was something he had heard whisperings of, the whole men with men thing. He didn’t know exactly how this kind of thing worked, but the thought of it wasn’t really something he found distasteful. He thought mildly that it should have been, but something was telling him to lean into Jensen. He didn’t feel so adverse to that idea at all.

He was completely lured in by the flecks in Jensen’s eyes, they were glowing and Jared bit his lip. He was kind of drawn into the idea of doing whatever it is guys did, with Jensen. He was a little curious and a little heady to know that he could have it, easily.

Jensen reached out and touched his knuckles.

“So what do you want?” Jensen said looking up at him through hooded eyes and impossibly long lashes.

Jared wanted to touch Jensen. He wanted to reach out and see what those lips felt like under his fingers, what the pad of his thumb would feel like against Jensen’s cheek. For some reason he wanted to kiss the freckles on Jensen’s nose and to lick at the freckles on his neck.

He had never had such a visceral reaction to anyone before. Sandy’s kisses were sweet, but he never had the urge to bite her neck. He had never felt this possessive, like this was something that he wanted to own, to make his, to possess. It was so raw and unusual for him. –

Jared shook off his daze, “I can’t.”

And something in him was just too scared completely to go from his world into this one. He wanted to, but his head was spinning too much. He had to slow down.

“Can’t or don’t want to?” Jensen said softly, looking at him, biting down and showing white teeth, biting into his full lip

Jared swallowed hard, “I really liked talking to you Jensen, but I have the feeling that if I keep talking to you it would cost me and I don’t really pay for just talking.”

Jensen shot him a weird look again, looking for something, for any deceit in Jared’s eyes. Jensen looked a little incredulous. He looked as if he couldn’t believe that this had happened.

“Bye Jensen,” Jared said softly getting up to leave, “Tonight isn’t my night.”

Jensen watched his retreating figure, “It sure isn’t mine either.”

 

**Chapter 1: Chicago 1900's.**

 

In 1899 the Everleigh sisters arrived in Chicago, bound and determined to reform the concept of a brothel. They wanted to create an experience, a parlor of decadence, where beautiful educated girls would talk with you, flirt with you, make you the most important person in their world for one night and, of course for a high fee. They wanted the brothels to be an event, not just a fucking.

Minna and Ada did just that; The Everleigh Club was exclusive, clean, their girl got frequent checkups. They were taught literature and classical music. The house was exclusive, you could only get in if you knew someone. This was a place you wanted to be, it was always ready to celebrate something. They saw that their girls were courtesans, nicknamed ‘Butterflies.’

The list of the courtesans was compiled from around the world. Their backgrounds’ were strictly checked, they could not be amateurs and they had to pass inspection first by Minna and then by Ada.

Only then were the women dubbed as ‘Butterflies’.

In the second year of business came an impeccable file and long list of references from Nebraska. They read the report on Jensen Ackles and were impressed. They set an appointment.

They didn’t realize that Jensen was a man until the most fastidiously dressed, most perfectly beautiful, and perfectly poised man sat before them.

“I know I’m not what you were expecting,” Jensen said calmly, evenly, having researched them before hand, “However I have heard so much about you. From my references you can see that I have never had a complaint, only the highest of praises. I want to work in a place that takes care of its own. I want to work here. I can offer you an extension to your client base.”

He looked at them through eyes of green steel.

They detested men, but this one impressed them a little bit.

That is when they created the new extension of their business. The ‘Chrysalis’, men who worked for them quietly in the background. They felt it fit under their mission statement. Their goal occasionally verged on putting the screws to the upper-class women, who had once shunned them. Jensen Ackles and his mouth of sin seemed a greater way of doing it than ever before, by having society’s husbands screwing a guy was a better joke than a woman prostitute.

::

Jensen found one of his usuals, an older guy who was easy and quick. He needed a client to erase whatever insanity that had entered his head after Jared Fucking Padalecki of the Fucking Texas Padalecki’s.

Jensen wasn’t part of his body during the act. He did it by rote. Blow job, quick fuck. All that time he was thinking about that Jared kid. Nothing made a lick of sense.

His instincts were perfect, he knew when someone wanted him. He had felt the rippling connection.

Did the kid like him, did the kid want him, why didn’t the kid want him, what had he done wrong, when did he turn into a schoolgirl, and why the fuck did he give a shit?

Nobody refused him. He could read people enough to know when to go after certain men. He knew when a guy was interested and he was never, ever refused.

Either the kid was the world’s best liar or…

…Jensen didn’t want to go there.

He had tried to see if the kid was lying and he couldn’t see anything but genuine truth in him. Jensen didn’t believe in genuine any more than he believed in fairy tales. Jensen believed in the fact that he would never let anyone have control over his life again. That is the one thing that he believed in. Nobody could lie to him. He believed in himself and his abilities.

He was looking for the lie, he was looking for the fake in this kid.

He hadn’t found it.

It was driving him insane.

As was the little fact that when he had seen the kid across the room and Minna had whispered in his ear he actually thought for a moment that finally he could have a good night. He loved fucking, but he wasn’t always attracted to the slobbering, sweating, loose jowled men who wanted him.

That kid though, he could have had the technique of timid closeted virgin and Jensen would have begged him for more because that kid was what Jensen liked to fuck when he wanted nothing more than to come like a geyser.

Jensen knew he might be a little shallow, but he liked pretty.

The next morning he sat quietly at the Chrysalis breakfast table, the men always breakfasted away from the women, but they ate dinner together in the main dining hall.

“Jeeze Jenny,” Michael said throwing a roll at him, “Where are you today?”

Jensen looked at Tom and Mike, having forgotten that they were there.

Jensen had known Mike for a long time and had been the one to bring him into the fold, because there are some things that he will not do. Mike has never been known to have boundaries on anything. He got the weird customers, which in the past had gotten him quite hurt. Here at the Everleigh Club, at least Mike was safe from himself and from others.

They both had found Tom on the street and found him far to pretty for alleyway blowjobs.

So Ada set up her little three-man crew. Tom would top, Jensen would bottom, and Mike would do the weird stuff. All three men were deliriously happy.

“He’s thinking about the kid,” Tom told him between bites of toast.

Jensen buried his head in his hands, because if anything happened Tom knew about it. People told him things and that stupid saying about ‘if the walls could talk.’ Jensen swore that Tom talked to walls and they were very open.

“The tall one who did not fall for the great Jensen Ackles charm?” Mike asked, “I always said that one day you’ll meet your match.”

“Of course it’s the good looking one,” Tom shrugged.

Jensen just groaned.

***

So as it happened it was two days later when he was strolling through a back alley of the shopping district when he heard swearing. A tall gangly man was wrestling with his shirt. Jensen watched in amusement.

He let out a laugh when the man let out a particular stream of curses, which were far below this man’s station. They were actually quite impressive, far more suited to a tavern whore who had learned it from sailors.

The man looked up.

“Oh,” he said looking in awe, as if Jensen was something he didn’t believe that Jensen exist, “It’s you.”

“Hi Jared,” Jensen said in a voice that contained far more feeling than he meant to express.

Jared smiled broadly and then looked down embarrassed at his soiled shirt, “Chad had me run and errand and somehow I’ve got puke on my shirt and dirt in my hair. I can’t be seen like this my mother will kill me.”

Jensen tilted his head, because what was going through his head was quite possibly the worst idea ever.

But there was something so goddamned likeable about this kid.

“Here take this,” Jensen said handing him a cap, “And lose the jacket.”

Jared looked at him strangely, “What’s going to happen?”

Jared sounded curious and up for anything, which sounded endearing to Jensen. This guy wasn’t cocky, like most men his age, but he was fearless.

Jensen’s smile just grew, it was honest and real. He leaned in conspiratorially, “I’m going to dress you down, sneak you into the Levee, bring you in the backdoor of the Everleigh Club and you’re going to borrow some clothes from my friend. He’s got some nice stuff, if not a bit dandyish.”

“Is he big enough?” Jared asked, well aware that he wasn’t of a conventional size.

Jensen snickered, “Yes, there are other people who are freakishly tall in this world apart from you.”

Jared smile grew ridiculous, “Let’s go.”

They walked through the streets, talking lowly of nothing at all. Jared looked at the bleak dirty houses that had been so bright at night, but seemed dilapidated and rough by daylight. Sewage ran down the streets and rats scurried in the corners.

“Stop smiling,” Jensen finally said, “You’re going to draw attraction.”

Jared sighed, “I know I look like a dork when I smile.”

“No,” Jensen said blandly, “You look great when you smile, but your teeth are far too white for this part of town. You’ll get pick pocketed.”

Jared blushed a little, “What about you? You’ve got great teeth.”

“I don’t smile,” Jensen told him.

“You should,” Jared said so low it was barely audible.

**

They snuck in the back entry way of the Everleigh house. They scrambled to the Chrysalis quarters where Tom and Mike sat reading the newspaper on the couch.

When Jensen and Jared spilled into the room laughing, Tom raised an eyebrow inquiringly at the odd behavior of his friend and Mike stood up, blinking at the new arrivals.

“No tricks in the morning,” Mike said.

Jensen rolled his eyes, “This isn’t a trick. He just needs a change of clothes.”

Tom’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline and Mike just nodded, “We’re running a boutique now?”

Jared snickered.

“Give him a shirt Welling,” Jensen sighed.

“I can pay,” Jared suggested.

Tom just nodded, “Easiest money I’ve made in a long time,” he muttered as he got up and disappeared into his small bedroom.

“So Jared,” Mike said idly, “You and Jensen spend much time together?”

“Just that one time,” Jared said, blushing all over again.

Mike studied him for a moment.

“So Jared,” Mike said again, “You play cards?”

Jared shrugged, “My best friend is a card shark and a cheater. I can still beat him.”

Jensen began to look alarmed.

“We have a game on Sunday evening,” Mike said casually, “We could always use a fourth.”

Tom appeared with the shirt and Jared moved to change not answering Mike.

“You invited him to date night?” Jensen hissed.

Date night was the Everleigh’s sister’s attempts at giving their personnel a normal life. Suitors could come calling on Sundays, all activities for the night were cancelled. The boys usually just played cards and joked about how hardened prostitutes would turn into schoolgirls at the prospects of guys calling on them for fun instead of money.

“Well typically I have my date there,” Mike said pointedly, “And you’ve never had anyone. You’re interested so why not?”

“Because he doesn’t like my kind,” Jensen whispered back, looking at the wide expanse of back on Jared and swallowing hard. He was momentarily mesmerized by the movement of bone and muscle under smooth skin, very very mesmerized.

Mike smirked, “If he was so adverse to your kind he would have punched you long ago.”

Jensen swallowed.

Mike snickered.

Jared came up slowly and spoke to Jensen as if he were the only person in the room.

“Is it okay if I come to play with you?”

Jared didn’t know what he was asking, and Jensen couldn’t believe the way he had phrased it. Jensen wanted nothing more than Jared at this game.

Jensen nodded, “Can you find your way home?”

Jared smiled and looked down sheepishly, “See you Sunday.”

**

The next Sunday was a day of lounging and relaxing before the beaus showed up.

“Sophia those earrings make you look like a country school Marm,” Mike chastised, playing with a feather boa, “He’s meeting up with you in a brothel, I think we can find a happy medium.”

Mike was lounging on Sophia’s bed in the girl’s quarters around noon, Tom was applying varnish to Daneel’s toes.

Sophia huffed put changed her earrings anyway.

“So what is Jensen’s guy like?” Daneel asked trying to sound aloof, while everyone knew she harbored a huge crush on Jensen.

“Tall,” Tommy commented.

Daneel poked his thigh with her heel, “We all know that much, we all saw him. Alexis said that he snuck in the other day. You all must have met him.”

“He is sweet and innocent,” Mike sighed, “Honestly I don’t know what the hell that kid is doing in a brothel. He also makes Jensen giggle.”

Sophia snorted, “Jensen? Our Jensen? Mr. I-have-never-really-laughed-before-because-I’m-serious-and-intense. That Jensen?”

“Yep,” Tom said blowing on Daneel’s toes.

“Jensen seems to think that this kid is for real,” Mike added.

“Jensen who thinks that everybody is a fake and out to fuck him?” Sophia asked.

“I know what is this world coming to?” Mike faked, “Honestly Sophia white. What part of happy medium do you not understand?

 

**Chapter 2**

 

“Mine, mine, mine,” Jared sing songed taking all the bills on the table.

Jensen snorted at Jared’s antics. The kid was a little tipsy and hugely mouthy when he was winning, and boy does the kid know how to win.

Mike poked him, “You just lost twenty of your hard earned dollars. Try not to look like you won the lottery.”

“Hard earned my ass,” Jared said counting the money with great aplomb, “Or his ass. I mean all he had to do was lay there and think of England.”

“Yeah and you earned that money through sweat and determination,” Mike teased.

“I did now,” Jared said haughtily, “You’ve tripled my inheritance.”

Jensen laughed out loud and both Tommy and Mike looked completely shocked.

Jared looked up from counting his money and looked at Jensen who was watching him with his bottom lip between his teeth.

Jared looked at him, his eyes shining, “I want to kiss you.”

“And I think Tommy and I, are going to fold up for the night,” Mike said pulling Tom out of his chair hurriedly.

Jensen just watched Jared, his face going through a myriad of emotions. Finally he sighed and stood up.

“I’m a far better person than anyone gives me credit for,” he muttered. “Not tonight Jared,” Jensen said, voice low.

Jared pouted, “Why not? What’s wrong with me?”

Jensen had to count to three because that was way too cute and more importantly he wanted to take Jared up on his offer, but he didn’t want the kid to hate him in the morning, and part of his ego wanted to make sure that the Jared would remember. Jensen then had to count to three again because he wanted to kick his own ass for even thinking something like that.

Jared then lit up and held out his winnings messily, “I can pay.”

Jensen took the money and tucked it in Jared’s pocket. He then proceeded to pull Jared to his feet, “Lets get you in a cab big guy.”

Jared looked so dejected that Jensen as a person, something he didn’t think that he had in him hated himself. The want was so huge, but so was the desire not to disappoint this kid.

“Fuck it,” Jensen finally said, “Let’s hope you don’t hate me in the morning.”

Jensen threaded his hands through Jared’s hair. Jared looked a little startled, but he quickly got the point when Jensen leaned into him, pulling his head down to his lips. Jensen started tentatively, trying to sort out if Jared would be receptive to this as he tugged Jared’s lip between his teeth.

Jared let out a moan and it was all Jensen could do not to drag him upstairs and teach him all those things that he was asking for. Instead he opted for pulling Jared closer, tugging at his waist, only for Jared’s big arms to wrap around Jensen and engulf him.

Jensen pushed himself flush to Jared, kissing him, slipping a tongue over his lips, into his mouth. Jensen licked inside his mouth, tracing his teeth, playing against his tongue. Jensen’s body was on fire as Jared’s hands played over his back and ran down his spine.

Jensen couldn’t help but shudder. None of this was an act. None of this was his consummate professionalism. This was something he wasn’t used to.

He wanted this kid to fuck him blind, fuck him into next week, fuck him so he forgot his name. Jensen had never in his life wanted anything like that before.

Jensen pulled away as if Jared were hot metal. Jared stumbled a little from loss of contact and overwhelming arousal.

Jared grinned down at him, “You’re good at that.”

“You are too,” Jensen said, sounding more strained than he wanted to, “Sober up boy. Then we can talk.”

Jared looked confused and moved unsteadily forward, “But I don’t want to talk.”

Jensen held up a hand, “Sober up and then we can talk about not talking. I don’t want you to do something that you’ll kill me for later. I like you too much.”

Jared grinned stupidly, “I like you too.”

Jensen bodily threw him into the cab.

“G’night Jensen,” Jared slurred waving.

**

“So when you like a girl, you send her presents?” Jared asked, following Chad down the road, avoiding puddles.

Chad shrugged, “Send them bobbles or flowers. They love that. What did you send Sandy?”

Jared shrugged, “We’ve been together since we were ten. We’ve always been together there has been no dating. I’ve never had to give her presents.”

“So you’ve picked up a new girl?” Chad asked curiously, ears pricking up at the thought of Jared doing something even remotely bad.

Chad stopped and his eyes went wide, his hand going to Jared’s arm, spinning him to face him, when a thought hit him.

“Is this a girl you met in the Everleigh house?” Chad asked mouth agape, whispering at the highest decibel, “You’re courting a prostitute?”

Jared looked above Chad’s head, “Oooh look, cufflinks, I need new cufflinks.”

He strode off to a nearby jewelry store, leaving Chad on the street. Jared went inside and looked over the cufflinks.

**

“Jensen!” Mike came scurrying into the room, “There is a delivery boy here for you.”

Jensen got up hesitantly. He never got presents; most of his customers were more likely to try to forget that they ever were with a guy, never mind presents. The rest of the girls in the house got presents from their regulars, but the boys usually didn’t.

Jensen looked at the boy in the backdoor and he held up a little box, “For you sir.”

Jensen reached down and picked up the box. He opened it slowly, reverently. In the velvet box were two gold cufflinks with J’s engraved on their faces.

Mike’s jaw dropped, “It looks like somebody is sweet on you.”

Jensen attempted not to let his mouth curl up in a smile, instead he looked at the boy, “The man who sent this, can you give him a message? Only tell him the message, no one else.”

The boy nodded.

“It’s a secret,” Jensen said leaning in conspiratorially, “Tell him to come on Wednesday, tell him to come at eleven. Make sure that he doesn’t come in the front door; tell him to come to the backdoor. You got that?”

The boy nodded and scurried off.

Mike rolled his eyes, “This is going to be great.”

 

**Chapter 3**

 

Jared was giddy. He really liked this new life, sneaking around the Levee. He was skulking around the backdoor of a brothel. This was so better than Chad’s stories.

He tapped lightly on the door.

A maid opened it. Behind her stood a woman in a gown and curls piled on her head and cascading down her back. A gilded mask obscured her face, with peacock feathers in her hair.

“Jared?” she asked breathlessly.

Jared hesitated. He was expecting Jensen. He wanted Jensen.

She smiled, “Jensen sent me to get you ready. He’s busy right now, but he wants me and a few of the girls to get you ready.”

“Ready,” Jared echoed dumbly, “Ready for what?”

The girl clapped her hands, “For the party silly.”

Jared followed her down the hallway; he could hear music in the main rooms.

“I’m Sophia,” she said as she whisked him onwards and entered a room where two other girls sat, “That’s Alexis and the other girl is Katie, we’re going to help you get ready.”

“I’m still not sure what that means,” Jared said slowly.

Katie produced a suit and Alexis held up a purple silk shirt.

“Its masquerade,” Sophia said, “Jensen wants you to come.”

Jared understood the words and the concepts, but nothing in his life had ever happened to make this make sense.

Sophia smiled, “Put these on and then we’ll get your hair and face ready.”

Jared was apprehensive to say the least.

Sophia smiled, “Its okay. It’s Tom’s. Jensen approved everything.”

Jared took the clothes and looked at them expectantly. They dissolved into giggles at the thought of the fact that he had anything they hadn’t already seen. They formed a line and turned their backs, while Jared changed into the pants and the shirt; they were a little tighter than he was used to and the silk shirt felt decadent against his skin.

“Okay ready,” Jared said, and the girls turned around and before long Jared was caught up in a flurry of movement, he was grabbed and sat down, and then his hair was slicked back. They put sparkles in his hair and painted his eyes with kohl, and then they gave him a black mask with wide eyeholes. Finally they painted a few dots of purple high on his cheekbone, to match his shirt.

Jared looked in the mirror; he barely recognized what he saw. He tilted his head and looked at his reflection. He looked exotic. His hair, which he always wore, slicked back hung shaggily around his face. The mask obscured most of his face and the part of his eyes that shown through was smeared with kohl. His silk shirt hung open and his pants made his legs look a mile long.

He grinned.

“C’mon lover boy,” Sophia said, “It’s show time.”

He found himself following Sophia again into the main hall; he stopped when he saw the spectacle before him. The room was done in feathers and silk, candles lit the ice sculptures of swans and white swans sat in gilded bowls, quietly preening. There were silver feathers everywhere and peacock feathers decorating the walls.

Jared had never seen anything like this, ever.

He stood just looking when a hand pulled him into one silk lined alcove.

He found his mouth assaulted and a tongue exploring gently. The body before Jared curled into him in a way that he was only just learning that he wanted to know better. He felt the lines of Jensen’s body, so familiar under his hands. Jensen cupped his face and tugged him closer.

Jensen pulled back, hands daring to groap over Jared’s ass.

“Hi,” he said huskily.

“Hi to you too,” Jared smiled glancing down at Jensen.

Jensen was dressed in black, clad in a perfectly tailored tuxedo, eyes obscured by a black ribbon, tied about his face.

“You like?” Jensen asked.

Jared wasn’t able to take his eyes off of Jensen, “Yeah.”

“I meant the party you goof,” Jensen laughed.

“I love it all,” Jared said in awe.

“Stay here,” Jensen grinned, “They won’t mistake you for one of us, but stay in this corner. I want you to see something.”

Jensen bit his lip, grinning.

“Okay,” Jared said, matching his expression.

Jensen left him with a wink. He walked to the middle of the dance floor and a girl with long brown hair and blue eyes came out in a skimpy dress. They stood a little ways apart.

Jared’s heart nearly stopped when he saw the cufflinks Jensen was wearing. The glinted gold made Jared’s heart swell.

Then the music started.

Jared watched breathlessly as Jensen began to move. Jared watched as his hands slid down the woman’s dress and they moved together to the music. It was slow and sultry. Jared watched as the movement of his back, slow and graceful; he was so commanding and sure of each carefully thought out moves.

Jensen spun her away from him into the waiting lap of a patron.

Sophia appeared out of nowhere and she danced with Jensen, laughing the entire time. Jared watched in fascination as Jensen landed girl after girl into the waiting arms of a suitor.

“Watching him is like watching poetry,” Ada said coming up behind him.

Jared looked down at her surprised, unsure as to whether he should be here or not.

“It’s fine,” she told him, “I knew you would be here. As long as you don’t cause a problem, I don’t mind you here.”

Jared nodded, “I’m not…”

She held up a hand, “I don’t care what you are or aren’t. As long as he takes care of his customers the rest is his business. We don’t make anyone do what they don’t want to do; we don’t keep them if they want to leave.”

Jared smiled.

“But if you going to want to eat here or take his business time you will pay for it, double is someone else is vying for his attention,” she said seriously.

“Tonight…” he started.

She gave him a mysterious smile, “Tonight is on the house. The way he’s been smiling lately is enough payment for tonight, watch, mingle.”

Jensen was done dancing.

“He doesn’t have a customer till midnight,” Ada informed him, “Don’t rumple him too much.”

And just like she appeared, Ada disappeared, without a sound.

Jensen came over to him, “C’mon I’ll show you the rest of the rooms.”

Jared followed him down corridor after corridor of increasingly outrageously dressed rooms. After the swan room, there was the heavily gilded room, and then there was the gazelle room. Jared moved through slowly taking in the ornate rooms.  
When they finally reached the black velvet room, Jensen whirled him into a little seat and pulled his face down for a kiss.

Jared was dizzy from the glamour around him, from the sights, the sounds, and the pressure of Jensen’s lips against his, were making his head spin. Then Jensen undid the bottom button of Jared’s shirt and touched his smooth, soft skin there and he was achingly hard, he didn’t think that he had ever been this agonizingly and blindingly hard in his entire life.

Just from the touch of fingertips on his stomach and the press of his lips.

Jared didn’t realize that he was moaning. It sounded like begging to his ears. Jensen pulled back a little, his pupils blown wide.

“I didn’t bring you here, for this, I just wanted you to see one of our soirees,” Jensen said, teasing along his neck, breath ghosting over dampened flesh, creating goose bumps. Jensen’s tongue snaked out and licked over Jared’s neck.

“Sorry,” Jared said moving away, he hadn’t come here for this. He didn’t want Jensen to think that he had come here for this. He didn’t want Jensen to think he was coming for what he was typically paid for.

Jensen groaned and Jared pulled back further. Jensen didn’t want this, because he wanted Jared and Jared was a little skittish right now.

“I have to go soon, but do you want me to show you something,” Jensen was whispering huskily against his ear. The word ‘something’ implied obscene ideas. It was such a normal word, but the way Jensen said it sent it running down his spine like caramel.

“What do you want?” Jared whispered.

Jensen closed his eyes and bit back a moan, “There isn’t time for that. Let me make you feel good.”

Jared’s eyes grew very wide; to Jensen he looked so very young and so very innocent. Jensen’s mouth watered to show him, to show him how very good it could be. He wanted to dirty him up. Most of the time touch felt a little like corruption, but right now nothing was sweeter than the expectation on Jared’s face.

Jensen only hoped that he could live up to it.

“Let me touch you,” Jensen asked.

Jared bucked up involuntarily. Jensen took that as a sign. He quickly undid the pants and laid his hand on Jared’s cock. At first contact Jared whimpered. Jensen moaned a little at the feel of Jared underneath his hands. Jared was leaking and keening under his touch.

“You feel so good,” Jensen whispered low and dirty, “You’re so heavy and aching. I’m going to show you things that you never even dreamed of. Baby, I’m going to show you things that you didn’t know existed, thing you’ll never forget.”

He twisted his wrist and Jared moaned so prettily against him that Jensen thought he might explode himself.

Jared buried himself in Jensen’s shoulder and purred as he came. He breathed irregularly. When his heartbeat returned to something close to normal, he was pretty sure that it would never be normal again. He lifted his head shyly and looked at Jensen. Jensen tilted Jared’s head and kissed him lightly.

Jared’s smile was mixed with hesitancy, like he didn’t know if it were right to smile.

Jensen reached down and touched his cheek as the clock struck twelve.

“I’ve got to go,” Jensen whispered, “Enjoy the party. Mike should be around, meet some of the girls.”

Jensen slowly unbuttoned Jared’s shirt and slid the silk from his shoulders. Jensen used the soft material to clean Jared’s stomach, Jensen’s hand, and Jared’s still sensitive cock.

Jared moaned slightly and moved into the touch. Finally Jensen kissed him softly, “Go play Jared.”

Jared’s eyes shot open, “What about my shirt.”

Jensen just smiled and appraised the body before him, hair greasily disheveled, sweaty, kohl streaked eyes, and wild mask, “You don’t need it Jared. Your mother wouldn’t recognize you right now. Let go. Just go play.”

Jared hesitated, “Do I, do I owe you…”

Jensen’s eyes crinkled, “You don’t owe me anything Jared.”

Jared flushed under Jensen’s green stare, but he turned to go back to the rest of the party, feeling Jensen’s eyes on his back, and as sure as the sun when he looked back he saw Jensen’s eyes luminous in the dark, those eyes were fixed on every movement Jared made. Jared’s solid silk shirt was clutched in Jensen’s hands.

**Chapter 4**

 

Jared entered the room, bare to the waist. He grabbed a glass of champagne and watched some of the girls dance and the men watching them or joining them. Everything seemed to be happening at once. Insanity bubbling over and dripping into every corner.

Jared saw Mike – with the brunette that Jensen had first danced with and a small blonde he didn’t recognize – who waved him over.

“Hey Jared, this is Lauren and Alona,” Mike said obviously a few cups of champagne in, “The kinky fucks have gone home early tonight, so it’s just you and me. Tonight we dance, we drink, we revel it up!!!”

Jared didn’t know how much he drank; he didn’t know how much he danced. He just lived in the moment. He just lived now.

**

Jensen didn’t rush through, which was a testiment to his professionalism. He bathed and scented himself which was a testiment to his politeness. He didn’t go and club Jared on the head and bring him back to his room was simply because he had lost the will to move when he came into the big room around three.

He was dressed casually in shirtsleeves and pants, his mask long forgotten.

Jared stood in the middle of the main ballroom, wearing nothing but his pants and suspenders; body soaked in sweat and glitter. His body was cut at all the best angles; the pants hung low on his hips. His kohl at his eyes were smeared, giving him a debauched look about him. His smile was manic and his hair wildly out of place.

Jensen was suddenly wary of meeting Jared again, it was no secret as to what he had been doing for the last three hours and he was tired. He was so very exhausted, but the thought of Jared downstairs had given him a little energy. Seeing Jared gave him a shot of adrenaline.

He just didn’t know how Jared would react, as he, too knew what Jensen had been doing.

He didn’t need to worry, Jared saw him at the door and suddenly there was nothing else in his eyesight. He stopped at grinned at Jensen, cocking his head and that was enough to get Jensen moving towards Jared.

Jensen wanted to eat him up.

Jensen didn’t know if it was the just champagne that he tasted on Jared’s breath or the heady atmosphere of the party, but Jared molded Jensen to him, staking claim. Jensen didn’t contemplate on the reasons for long.

All that mattered was Jared’s lips. He was huge and sweaty and damnit, if Jensen just hadn’t spent three hours having sex, this night would have ended differently.

As it were, Jensen was content to kiss Jared, hearing the girls’ catcalls around him. This was probably one of the only places that two men could get away with something like this. Jared’s kiss was a little possessive, kissing away anyone else who could have touched those lips.

“Hi,” Jared said breathlessly.

“Having fun?” Jensen asked.

“Am now,” Jared huffed.

And the night was still young.

**

They was dancing and singing and there was so much laughter. Drunken patrons were ogling the girls, thinking things that their dicks couldn’t follow through with. The girls were flirting, moving from partner to partner. Jared and Jensen would be separated for a moment and then Jared would huff in his ear, something like: “That guy is my solicitor; I always thought we paid him too much.”

And Jensen would laugh.

Having Jared around made his life far more amusing than he allowed himself to think about.

It was quarter of four when Jared went stock still and then ducked behind the girls, trying to hide. If he hadn’t been so desperate he would have been kind of funny to watch six and a half feet of gangliness try to hide behind three slight girls. They all surrounded him with extreme concern, effectively sheltering him from prying eyes.

“It’s my brother,” Jared hissed.

The girls straightened. They got it immediately. The glittery, half dressed appearance was something that Jared’s brother never needed to see. Jensen rose up, hearing this news. Suddenly, lighthearted Jensen was gone, and in his place was the Jensen that the girls had always known.

He tossed Jared a discarded top hat, “Put this on. Hide your hair.”

Jensen stood and took Sophia and Adrienne by the arm, “Let’s show him what the house has to offer.”

Jared looked confused, but Alexis and Lauren seemed to understand.

“That’s his brother,” Adrienne said looking at the tall man, “The sayings about Texas are so true. Everything is bigger in Texas.’

“Dibs,” Sophia said with a flirty smile to a very drunken Jeffery Padalecki.

Jensen and the girls approached Minna who was saying, “Jeffery Padalecki of the Texas Padlecki’s.”

Jensen heard the barely contained mirth in her voice. She was trying not to laugh; she was trying to be professional. However much the Everleigh sisters were professional, they got a kick out of their lives sometimes.

“Jeffrey,” Jensen said voice all professional, “I’d like you to meet Sophia and Adrienne.”

Jeff smiled drunkenly, his friend already passed out on a velvet chair, “I like her.”

He was leering at Sophia, it only took a moment before he wavered and looked at Jensen. He studied his face for a long second, “You’re pretty.”

Jensen had to refrain from shirking in revultion.

Jeff waveringly faced Minna, “How much for both?”

In the far corner the very stoic Ada was trying to contain her laughter. Minna was composed, but only by practice and all the girls had stopped to look at this sight. Fortunately Jeff was far too intoxicated to notice.

“It runs in the family,” Ada whispered to Daneel, and the two had to leave the general vicinity for appearances sake.

It was at that moment that Jared strode up, he wore the mask and the make up and the glitter. He also wore the top hat and the suspenders. He looked commanding even in such dress, but there was something different about him as Jensen watched. It took a second before Jensen understood. It wasn’t so much these little things, it was the way he carried himself that made him different.

“I believe that one is mine,” he said in a commanding voice, something that Jensen had never heard, it was strong, it was sure, it was cocky. Gone was the boy, here was a man.

It was a complete and total change.

Jensen barely recognized the man before him; it was so different from the chatty young thing that had appeared at the tables only weeks before. This man was in charge, this was a man not a boy.

Jensen was more than suitably impressed and more than incredibly turned on.

He was never going to say such things.

Minna’s look was absolute suppression of her ironic sense of humor, but she nodded anyway, “Mr. J-Jeremey has rights to that one, can I interest you…”

Jared, behind his new look was completely confident and just looked at Jensen.

Minna went off with Sophia, Adrienne and Jeff and neither, Jared or Jensen noticed.

Jensen looked at Jared, “Come on, you just paid twice my price, you deserve something.”

Jared smiled, there was all the boy that Jensen recognized again.

**

Jensen drew Jared to one of the less garish rooms.

Awkward didn’t even begin to describe the situation. It had been an odd night.

Jared sucked in all the air in the room, “I’m sorry. I know this is what you do, but I just couldn’t. It’s fine, but that was my brother and I couldn’t. If I should have…”

Jensen kissed him, hands on either side of the face, gently, like something Jensen had never known.

Jared took in the bedraggled appearance of the man before him and he sagged against him, “You look like shit. You need to sleep.”

“What,” Jensen said as he looked up in alarm, “It’s not good enough?”

Jared smiled, “I want you to teach me all those things I don’t know, but not really when you are already fucked out.”

The look on Jensen’s face was a sweet smile, completely rare and ineffective.

“Stay with me,” Jensen asked.

Jared smiled, “Talk to me for a bit.”

“What do you want me to say,” Jensen wondered.

Jensen was completely confused, because there was a bed and there was money and yet Jared was content in just not fucking.

The two of them just lay in bed.

“How did you find this life?” Jared asked honestly wanting to know.

Jensen curled himself into Jared. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, but Jared seemed so honest and curious, Jensen couldn’t deny him anything.

“My mother was one,” Jensen told him, “It’s what I know. I grew up with this whole thing. If my mother ran a grocery store I would know that, it’s just that simple. My mother died and my sister got sick. I did it to make sure that she would be okay. It’s what I knew. It was what I did to let all of us survive.”

Jared was silent for a moment, “Is she okay?”

Jensen laughed at the concern, he was not used to people caring about him, “She and my older brother Josh are happily living on a ranch in Texas. Mackenzie is pretty happy and she’s comfortable. That’s why I do this.”

“What about you?” Jared asked.

“What about me?” Jensen replied, honestly baffled.

“Don’t you want more?” Jared pointed out.

Jensen huffed; he had heard this many times before, “This is my life. It isn’t so bad. I don’t see you particularly overjoyed to follow in the family footsteps, but you’re doing it anyway.

Jared didn’t have an answer for that instead he held him close, “Sleep. Now is the time when you sleep.”

Jensen felt the body next to him and allowed himself to fall into unconsciousness.

 

**Chapter 5**

 

“Jared,” the decidedly female voice said from underneath the pile of decidedly male muscle he was under.

He vaguely recalled that this was Sophia. He extricated himself from the bed and put himself in his clothing from the day before.

“I’ve got your brother,” Sophia whispered, “Bring him home, it will be like you got up early to rescue him from the brothel. It’s the perfect cover.”

Jared stared numbly at her, “Are all of you this insanely devious?”

Sophia shrugged, “We know how to survive.”

Jared sighed and got into his clothes, which weren’t as comfortable as the clothes, he borrowed from Tom after all he had to wear a shirt now. He leaned down and kissed Jensen’s forehead.

“I’ll tell him you said goodbye,” Sophia whispered, dimples gleaming in the early morning light

**

“Corn-fed mother fucker,” Jared mumbled trying to get his older brother in to the cab. Jeff had three inches and thirty pounds on him and Jeff was fucked out and still drunk.

“What you doing,” Jeff slurred.

“Getting up way to early in the morning to haul your ass back home before momma notices,” Jared said with a vehemence he didn’t feel.

Jeff looked at him through one squinted eye, “You shouldn’t be hanging around the Levee.”

“Hypocritical bastard,” Jared said through clenched teeth.

Jeff batted at his shoulder, “No fair using big words. Besides you’re the good one.”

Mentioning that he was a regular at the club, mentioning that he was starting to really like a male prostitute getting him off, mentioning that Jeff liked guys and almost screwed the guy that Jared liked, none of these seemed like viable options. So Jared just was silent.

“Maybe I don’t want to be the good one anymore,” Jared mumbled.

“Well tough shit,” Jeff informed him, and he turned green, “Have the cab pull over. I’m going to be sick.”

**

Jared got Jeff into the house with only a little commotion. Megan came out of her room as he manhandled Jeff into bed. She watched him, her eyes appraising. When he went to his room she followed.

“I was just getting Jeff home from the brothel he found himself in last night,” Jared said tiredly.

Megan regarded him, “You never lie to me Jared Tristan Padalecki. You lie to everyone else, but you tell me the truth.”

That is how it had been for so long, Megan was his confidant. He just didn’t know where to start.

People could read Jared like an open book

She looked at him, hazel eyes looming, “You didn’t go to pick him up, you were there.”

Jared looked away, enough of an admission to prove her right.

“What are you doing in a brothel?” she asked it quietly, “What is her name.”

“Jensen,” Jared finally said, “Jensen Ross Ackles.”

Megan’s eyebrows nearly flew off her face.

“I like him Meggie,” Jared said low and pleading, “I really, really like him and yeah he’s a hooker, but he’s also smart and funny and nice.”

Megan just looked at him, “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Jared looked at her and spread out his arms, “For the first time in my life I have no fucking clue.”

Megan smiled, “Maybe you need this. Tell me about it.”

He began to tell her about the Everleigh house, about Jensen, and…

“Hey do you know Jeff likes guys,” Jared offered offhand, “He totally took it from this guy Tom last night.”

Megan dissolved into laughter.

**

Friday afternoon found Jared strolling through the park with Sandy, on a beautiful summer day.

“Where have you been lately?” Sandy asked, not at all complaining, just curious.

“New business venture,” Jared said quickly. He had come home from the Everleigh house past dawn and proceeded to sleep for 24 hours. He had just gotten up this morning, limbs sore. He could still feel the ghost of Jensen’s lips and he was pretty sure he still had glitter in unmentionable places, but for the most part he was clean, crisp, and every inch the gentleman that Sandy should have.

“So I’ve joined the White Slavery Movement,” Sandy said quietly, “Do you know the brothels downtown advertise jobs for poor country girls and when the girl gets here she is forced to do acts and never to leave. They’re trafficking girls into the Leeve to be used in the most degrading of manners. I think it’s a horror.”

The soft caring in Sandy’s eyes was at such a contrast with Jared experience. The Everleigh house was so sought after that the girls were honored to be there. He knew that not everything on the Leeve was as clean and polished, but that is all he thought about when he thought about the Leeve.

Actually Jensen is what he thought about most.

Jared walked in the bright sun light, surrounded by his social peers. He laughed with his girl and exchanged pleasantries with his pastor. It was just like any other day.

This was the reality.

**

Madams Minna and Ada receive a dozen roses each. The roses were wrapped in silk paper and were accompanied by a card.

‘Thank you for the wonderful evening ~ Jared’

The hardened madams who hated men smiled a little.

Jensen was called into Ada’s office.

“We like him,” Ada began.

“But…” Jensen prompted.

“Be careful,” Minna continued, “You only loose your heart once.”

Jensen snorted, “I’m sure Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padlecki’s is going to fall for a whore.”

“We weren’t talking about Jared,” Ada replied.

He looked at them long and hard, his body carefully poised. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.

“Can’t loose what you don’t have,” Jensen informed them.

Ada smiled and it didn’t reach her eyes, she wasn’t going to push this, “Then have fun Jensen.”

**

It was Saturday night and they were at a horribly boring party. Chad was obviously ogling a married woman and Jared was trying to come up with a way of asking a question, and he couldn’t figure it out.

Chad had just lifted his drink to take a sip when Jared blurted out, “Have you ever gotten a blow job?”

The drink came out of Chad’s nose.

“Jesus,” Chad said looking at him, “Warn a guy.”

“I’m just wondering,” Jared began, embarrassed as all hell. Everyone was looking at them; this was probably the most interesting thing to happen all night. Chad grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into a secluded alcove.

“What is going on with you,” Chad hissed, “Tell me that this isn’t what I think it is. Don’t tell me that you’re getting a mistress, you are not the type for a mistress.”

Jared looked at him, “No I’m not getting a mistress.”

Chad looked off in the distance and Jared could hear him thinking. Jared knew things were written all over his face.

“You’re going to the Levee,” Chad whispered wide eyed, “You’re going to the Everleigh house.”

Jared stilled, “What if I am.”

“You are not the type of guy to go to whore houses,” Chad reminded him, “You aren’t the type of guy to have a mistress. You don’t get involved you take over. What about Sandy?”

Jared looked into the other room where Sandy sat.

“Who is she,” Chad asked, “Who is this girl who you are willing to be so un-Jared like for.”

Jared clenched his jaw.

“Sophia?” Chad asked, “She’s hot. Its probably Alexis, she’s all smart and shit.”

“I can’t believe you know prostitutes on a first name basis,” Jared mumbled.

“I can’t believe you’re sleeping with one of them,” Chad replied, “I thought so much better of you.”

Jared gathered every inch of his courage, “Jensen.”

Chad looked at him wide eyed and whistled, “When you do something unexpected you really commit.”

“So are you going to disown me now that you know your friend is thinking about doing dudes?” Jared asked defensively.

Chad shrugged, “I don’t care what you dick does as long as it doesn’t do anything around me.”

“Have you…” Jared began.

“Hell no,” Chad cut in, “Not that there is anything wrong with it.”

They just sat in silence for a moment.

“So are you going to do this for awhile?” Chad asked conversationally.

“So now that I’m fooling around with a guy it’s okay?” Jared asked.

Chad thought for a moment, with a girl Jared could always replace Sandy. There was no way in hell that Jared would bring a guy home to his father. In Chad logic this seemed to be safe for now.

“Yes.”

“You’re a weird dude,” Jared told him.

**

Sunday rolled around and Jared was starting to get itchy. He wanted so badly to see Jensen it almost hurt.

He was about four steps into the Everleigh house when Jensen appeared and kissed him. It wasn’t so much a kiss as it was Jensen was attempting to inhale him. Jensen ate away at his mouth, licking into it, hands absolutely everywhere.

Jared pulled away.

“Hi,” Jared managed through his raging hard on.

“Anything,” Jensen said against his lips, “I haven’t been able to think about anything since you. I want you. Anything.”

Jared laughed, “I don’t know anything. I really don’t know what to even ask for.”

Jensen could only look at him, “How did you find me? Honestly kid, are you for real?”

Jensen looked at where Jared’s hands lay over his hips possessively. Jensen was cool calm and collected, but he felt his body alive at the almost innocent touch of this guy. The sun-kissed skin and wide-open smile made him want to hide Jared away and keep him only for himself.

“I want to touch you,” Jared said shyly, “I want to touch you like you touched me.”

Jensen’s heart nearly stopped. If he weren’t already damned he would be now.

That phrase from Jared’s lips was quite possibly the best thing that he had ever heard. He could die right now and have no regrets.

“Take him upstairs Jensen,” Ada’s firm voice said, “You’re not fucking in my foray.”

Jared’s eyes went wide as he comprehended what he was about to do. He swallowed hard. Then he got a look, like he was studying Jensen’s face.

“You have freckles on your nose,” Jared said with that goddamned warm smile.

Jensen was a prostitute. His clients noticed his lips or his ass, never in the history of his life had anyone he was about to fuck noticed his goddamned freckles.

Jared’s smile wavered.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asked.

Jensen didn’t trust his voice he just shook his head and motioned towards the stairs.

They went up the stairs, not looking at each other.

When the door closed behind Jared, he jumped.

Jared turned towards Jensen, wringing his hands, “There is a girl. I’m going to marry her.”

Jensen shook his head and started to undo his shirt, “Tonight?”

Jared shook his head, “No, not anytime soon.”

“I’m just a whore,” Jensen said revealing pale freckled skin, “This is just the fantasy.”

Jared had stopped listening; he was too intent on what Jensen was revealing. Jared looked up dazed, “Can I touch you?”

Jensen was unsuccessful at biting back a groan, “Please.”

Jared was on him, cupping his face and lightly touching their lips together, “I want to taste you.”

“Dear god yes,” Jensen said, tugging Jared’s clothing off.

Jared reached out hesitantly; skimming over skin, light enough to make goose-bumps. He leaned down and flicked a tongue over the freckles on Jensen’s neck. Jensen was shaking, he wanted this so badly.

Jared manhandled Jensen into bed. Jensen was writing underneath Jared, who tasted the skin of Jensen’s chest. He finally reached Jensen’s nipples. His tongue slipped out swiping over the hardened nubs slickly, before white teeth nipped at the pink nipples. Jensen was unable to anything besides moan low and keen deep in his throat.

Jared moved upwards to the shell of Jensen’s ear, “Can I touch you?”

His hand was skating downward, “Please.”

Jared reached into Jensen’s pants, and gave a sharp intake of breath as he touched Jensen. He was hard and leaking and so velvety smooth. Jared touched him the way he liked to be touched.

“Jared,” Jensen hissed and Jared lost all hesitancy, he reached his huge hand into the pants and tugged at the cock there. Jared was intent on the feel and sound of Jensen.

Jensen was breathing hard, speaking words that made no sense.

Jared twisted his wrist and used the move Jensen had done to him. That was Jensen’s undoing. His back arched and he was coming white and sticky over Jared’s hands. He looked up at Jared, his voice still coming in gasps.

The smile that lit up Jared’s face was stunning, “Good?”

Jensen just shook his head; green eyes lit up and just pulled him to his lips. Jared was a quick study. Jensen just let him touch his flushed sensitive skin.

“You made me feel good,” Jensen rasped, “Let me make you feel good.”

Jared just nodded.

Jensen flipped him over and slid his body over Jared, touching everything, tasting his way down. Jared was mesmerized by what Jensen was doing to his body. He was completely enthralled with the sunlight glinting off of Jensen’s hair and the way his hands and mouth moved.

Jared didn’t even know that his body could feel like this.

Then Jensen’s mouth licked up a stripe on Jared’s dick and that mouth closed around it and swallowed it down.

Jared arched into him, letting out a low moan, hands fisting the blankets as Jensen took him into his throat. Jensen let out a rumble in the back of his throat and Jared was lost, he was coming down Jensen’s throat.

Jared threw an arm over his eyes in embarrassment.

Jensen just laughed and came to rest next to him on the bed. Jared peeked out from under his arm, grinning.

“I didn’t even know I could do that.” Jared said in hushed awe.

Jensen nipped at his ear, “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

**

Jared lay on his bed back in his house. He and Jensen had stayed up talking. They had run through the house after they had dressed and run through into the girl’s quarters.

“Jared-boy you’re glowing,” Sophia teased.

Jared couldn’t bite back his smile; he couldn’t help looking at Jensen, Jensen who was openly staring at Jared.

When Jared came back to his own house it was almost dawn and he crawled into bed, he didn’t know how much later, but someone entered his room and bounced on the bed. Jared pulled his head up and found Chad reading on his bed.

“Do you know prostitution is immoral,” Chad said conversationally, reading the paper.

“Chad what are you doing up?” Jared said with a groan.

“It’s like one in the afternoon, I think I am supposed to be the lazy good for nothing one,” Chad said waving around a piece of paper, “Sandy handed me this pamphlet. Your girl is trying to shut down the Levee. She is saying that the whorehouses are immoral and that they should shut down.”

Chad looked at him in full horror, “You have to marry her and stop this travesty. Are you glowing? You finally figure out all about blow jobs?”

Jared couldn’t help his grin.

“Great, you do know your girlfriend is trying to ruin your little love nest,” Chad put his hands behind his head, “The great thing is that she is trying to ruin your new found sexual deviancy and she doesn’t even know it. This is fucking great.”

Chad was really into this, “You know that this is great, right? I mean I never do this. You have brought a whole new level to drama. I like. So how does it feel to be living?”

Jared tried to be ashamed; he failed on an epic scale.

“Its just a fantasy Chad,” Jared replied softly, but something in his gut told him this was more real than anything ever had been.

**Chapter 6**

 

Jared sat in the parlor with his mother, father, sister, and Sandy. The women were sewing and they were all talking. Well everyone else was talking. Jared began to feel uncomfortable. Everything he said in the Everleigh Club was received and responded to. Here they gave him a nod and went on with their conversation.

Jared had never before felt like a puppy, something you’d just pet absentmindedly.

He wasn’t mad, he just never before knew what it was like not to be the dolting son and the perfect suitor. He never realized that there was anything different and he couldn’t reconcile the feelings of Jared the son and Jared the guy who went to the Everleigh Club.

“And these White Slavers go into small towns and promise these girls the best life and then make them lead horrible lives,” Sandy was saying.

“Isn’t that what the factories do?” Jared spoke up.

“Hmm,” his father acknowledged and they all went back to their conversation.

“I mean its just a travesty,” Sandy said bowing her head.

“Its just like the factories,” Jared said louder, “I mean they go into small towns they promise these girls the world and then they pay them less than nothing to work 12 hour days. They hardly have enough to eat or live on. They’re stuck in these jobs and taken advantage of by their foremen and the other men in the factories. Actually from what I hear some of them are quite slutty anyway just in order to get out of the life that they were living…”

Jared trailed off because everyone was looking at him with their mouths open, except for Megan. She had heard his diatribes before, but everyone else was stunned by his having an opinion, and going on about it, especially about unsavory things.

Sandy recovered, her jaw flapping for the first few tries, “That is different.”

“How is that different?” Jared asked, honestly wanting to know.

“Working in the factories is good and respectable,” Sandy said in a small voice.

Megan snorted, “Yeah when is the last time you talked to a factory girl.”

“Megan Padalecki,” her mother chastised.

Jared shrugged, “I’m just saying.”

Jared’s father smiled warmly, “Jared you are young yet there is a lot that you don’t understand. It’s very different.”

“Why?” Jared asked sullenly, “Because Sandy’s father owns the factories? If her father didn’t own the factories would she be out there marching like a labor crusader like Jane Adams, instead of this militant religious guy?”

And this time even Megan was shocked. Jared himself was a little shocked. He was only like this in private never when the people who would judge would see.

Sandy fled from the room crying.

“Son,” his father growled, “I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I don’t like it. The world is far more complex than you can understand. One day it will make sense to you, but right now you are talking about things you don’t understand.”

Jared swallowed back his words and resumed his meek posture. He swallowed back that he had seen what factories did, that those girls would rather be prostitutes. He bit back the fact that the four year gap between him and Sandy wasn’t so wide as to make her all that much more wise. He swallowed back that he knew more about life outside of this house than they ever would.

“Jared,” his mother said through gritted teeth, “Go. Get. Sandy.”

Jared was moving before he could think, propelled by his mother’s command. Megan watched with wide eyes, wanting to go and comfort him, but she knew the rules of this house. She knew far better than that.

Jared moved towards Sandy and pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. It didn’t give him the thrill it once did.

The announcement of their engagement came the next day.

*

Sunday came around after a week of Jared itching. There had been to many parties and too many well-wishers for something he didn’t feel. He just wanted to be in a place where he could talk and act like he wanted to.

He entered the Everleigh house and Jensen pounced on him, taking his lips as if he had every right to claim them.

Jared pulled away and smiled.

“Hi Jensen,” Jared said into his mouth.

Jared pulled back and looked around. Tom and Mike were noticeably absent.

Jared looked around, for the first time since he had entered the house all those times ago. There was a golden piano, perfectly gleaming.

He noticed the book that Jensen had discarded, “Balzac?”

“In the original French,” Jensen said with a smirk, “Just because I have sex for money doesn’t mean I’m an idiot.”

“I never said you were,” Jared replied a little too quickly.

Jensen raised an eyebrow in mockery, as if he didn’t know exactly what Jared’s conception of hookers was.

Jared smiled, “What are you doing with this life?”

Jensen gestured, “Because I’m good at it. Pays more than scamming people.”

“And you read Balzac?” Jared asked, “Hell I haven’t read that shit.”

Jensen smiled, “You should.”

Jared looked at the book. It wasn’t everyday that he was advised on his reading in a whorehouse. Then again he was getting the impression that Jensen wasn’t anything typical for anything.

“I’m more of a pictures guy,” Jared said solidly, looking down at his hands.

Jensen looked down at Jared’s hands. They were huge, broad with long fingers and soft pads. Jensen swallowed, he wanted those hands on him, soon. It kind of was ridiculous how much this kid affected him.

He turned the hand over and he saw orange embedded in Jared’s nail bed.

“You’re a painter,” Jensen said quietly.

Jared ducked his head, “I work in my father’s office, I am in oil, Texas oil, I paint in my spare time.”

“I like David and Géricault,” Jensen said conversationally, “I’ve always wanted to go to the Louvre.”

Jared looked shell-shocked.

Jensen smiled, “The Madams made sure that we’re all very educated about these things. I do want to go to the Lourve. I’ve seen pictures in books.”

Jared grinned, “I went last year after college. You would love it.”

Jared talked quickly on and on. Jensen just listened intent as Jared absolutely gushed on and on about something he was apparently really really interested in. They just sat in the sitting room and talked until the sun went down. Jared chatted and he didn’t feel as if he needed to hold back his enthusiasm, he didn’t feel as if Jensen was bored by a single word that came out of his mouth.

Jared almost talked until he was horse. It was only when a movement in the room caught his eye that he realized it was dark.

Jared looked outside as Minna and Ada swept in followed by the servants bearing food. Jared’s stomach let out a rumble as the smells wafted to them. Jensen had his head resting on his hand, just watching Jared.

At the sound of the grumbling of his stomach Jensen grinned.

“Lets feed you,” Jensen said waving over one of the servers, Jared ate away hungrily and Jensen smiled and talk to him, not at him, to him.

Sophia came up and sat on Jared’s lap.

“Shoo,” Jensen said pulling at her hand.

“If you are going to just talk,” said rapping her arms around Jared, “Can I have him.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and picked her bodily up and strattled Jared’s lap. Jensen leaned in tugged Jared’s face closer. He didn’t so much kiss him as he lay clear what was going on and it definitely didn’t include Sophia.

Sophia put two fingers in her mouth and let out a loud whistle.

Jensen pulled back and smiled at Jared, “You’ve told me how you use your hands. Let me show you how I use my hands.”

Jared gulped and nodded his head. He had forgotten how to be hungry when Jensen looked at him like that, all calmly possessive.

**

They entered the Oriental Room and Jensen stayed his distance, just drinking in Jared.

Jared moved from foot to foot nervously.

“Take off your clothes,” Jensen said in that voice, the velvety voice that was part business and part lust.

Jared looked at him confused. Last time had been so fast and hectic, he wasn’t sure about this. He looked into Jensen’s eyes and breathed in trust. He began to shed his jacket, the buttons of his coat, his pants. Until he stood blessedly naked in front of Jensen, a Jensen who could do nothing but look in that guarded manner.

“You’re a work of art,” Jensen tried, but his voice broke with untapped lust.

Jared shrugged and tried to put his hands in his pockets, before he realized he didn’t have pockets.

“Lay on your stomach, on the bed,” Jensen instructed.

Jared smiled slightly, already half hard at Jensen’s stare. He lay on top of the silk covered bed.

“Close your eyes,” Jensen said all huskily.

Jared closed his eyes and let his other senses take over. He smelt Jensen lighting something that made the room musky. He heard the gentle clink of metal jars. He felt the silk below him.

Then he felt a hand on his back, warm and covered with oil that was scented like sandalwood.

Jensen leaned over him and whispered in his ear, “Just relax.”

Jared felt his naked torso against him and let out a little sigh. It was impossible to not turn into a puddle that was formerly known as Jared.

Jensen’s hands began massaging his back, over muscles that flexed in reflex.

“You are a work of art Jared,” Jensen said as he kneaded Jared’s back, covering him in oil, slicking him, and relaxing him.

Jared whimpered because it was the only thing that he could think of doing.

Jensen moved lower and dug his palms into Jared’s ass cheeks. Jared arched into his hands, his cock impossibly hard and full. Jensen moved to his legs and Jared moaned low and husky.

“What are you doing to me?” Jensen asked, pressing a hard cock into the arch of Jared’s foot.

Jared was a puddle of sandalwood and loose limbs, amazed that he understood that.

“Flip over,” Jensen said with no professionalism, just want.

In an eternity Jared was able to flip over and Jensen began at his feet and slowly moved up to the weeping cock that was begging for him, for some kind of release.

“Do you trust me,” Jensen asked huskily, “I want to show you something.”

“Anything,” Jared keened, needing, wanting.

Jensen’s mouth took in Jared’s dick, swallowing it whole, which wasn’t an easy accomplishment. He sucked and Jared let out a groan that was so amazing, but it didn’t compare to the sound he made when Jensen’s finger circled his asshole, when Jensen teased and tested.

Jared’s sounds were of so much bliss that Jensen, professional extraordinaire nearly came in pants.

It was tentative at first, but Jared pushed into Jensen’s finger. Jensen’s mouth was hot on Jared’s dick and his finger was pressing into his ass and Jared was lost.

When Jensen pressed into him and found the a place that he didn’t know he had that made him feel as if a hot spark had ignited his body and Jared lost it, he came hot and wet into Jensen’s mouth. He was simply unable to hold back any longer.

Jared lay back and Jensen came to lay beside him kissing him, Jared had never tasted himself and this was beyond understanding.

He felt Jared curled around him, warm and slippery.

“Stay still,” Jared asked in a weak voice.

Jensen couldn’t think of anything else but moving against Jared, but he managed to gather some kind of order.

He laid down and let Jared slowly stroke him, those padded fingers strong and firm. Jensen looked down to see those hands wrapped around his dick. His breath came in pants. He wanted this. He wanted Jared to do this, to keep doing this. To be everything, because at this moment Jared was his world, lips at his collarbone, hand on his dick, body enveloping him.

Jared stroked him and this is what he wanted, this is what he always wanted, this is what he lived for and he had never even known it.

“Jared,” Jensen moaned, coming hard and like his head was about to explode. Jared held him through the orgasm, through everything.

Jensen opened his eyes and looked into Jared’s darkened eyes. Then Jared smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

“You’re perfect,” Jared said against his mouth.

“This is perfect,” Jensen replied.

“Lets pretend that this is the only thing that exists,” Jared suggested.

“I’m okay with that,” Jensen muttered, taking him closer.

 

**Chapter 7**

 

‘Thursday.’

That is what the entire card said, and it made Jared dimple from ear to ear.

Megan looked over his shoulder, “What does that mean?”

Jared looked at her blankly, trying to come up with a plausible lie.

“Don’t lie to me, Jared Padalecki,” she cautioned eyes narrowing.

Jared still stayed silent, trying to piece together what he was supposed to say.

“Sandy wants me to join her new group,” Megan said conversationally, when it appeared Jared wasn’t going to answer, “The Midnight Mission. This guy, Reverend Ernest Albert Bell started it to shut down the Levee. She’s trying to tell me these stories about people who are imported and forced to have sex under false pretenses.”

She fixed him with a stare.

“Jensen isn’t like that,” Jared immediately defended, “Jensen is…”

As he trailed off Megan smiled.

“Jared, you’re in deep,” she noted, “But I promise that I won’t be a missionary like Sandy.”

“You’ll keep my secret?” Jared asked, completely weirdoes out by his friend’s and family’s reaction, “He’s kind of like a friend.”

Megan grinned more, “I won’t tell, if you give me details.”

Blackmail was a time-honored tradition of little sisters everywhere.

Jared blanched, “You want to hear about what we do?”

She smacked him, “That’s repulsive! I don’t want to hear about you being plowed by some dude.”

Jared covered his ears, “I don’t want to hear you say that ever again.”

“Tell me about the house,” Megan said conspitorally, “Tell me about the girls.”

Jared nodded. He could do story telling.

**

Thursday, it appeared, was a party filled with beads and weird calypso music, and when Jared snuck in the back door the girls greeted him again.

He just smiled, “So what am I wearing this time?”

Sophia tapped her finger against her chin, “Such a fast learner Padalecki, so sorry that Jensen got to you first.”

She ushered him down the hall and produced a pair of white pants and a wildly flowered shirt, which Jared looked at in interest.

Adrienne stood next to her and produced a colorful mask, “Jensen said if you’re going to be around your peers you have to hide, and this,” She said, holding up the mask, “is the easiest way to do it.”

Jared dressed quickly and turned to the two girls, ready for their approval.

“Hair needs to be unslicked and hanging all shaggy,” Sophia assessed.

“Shirt needs to be unbuttoned,” Adrienne added.

Jared squeaked when they went about both tasks at once. Sophia’s hands were in his hair and Adrienne was at the front of his shirt. He swatted them away.

“I’m not for sale,” he said with faux haughtiness.

“Jensen will like it,” Sophia told him.

The girls laughed at his torn expression, they knew that they had won, so when Jared emerged from the ‘Butterflies’ room he was wearing loose fitting pants, a silky shirt with flowers on it completely unbuttoned. His hair was loose and hung around his face; his face that was adorned with dark makeup covering his eyes as if he was some wild tribesman.

When Jensen saw him he just stopped and stared, so Jared came over with the learned grace and confidence that was a mimic of what he saw in Jensen. Jared walked across the room to Jensen as if he owned the room.

Jared walked up to Jensen and cocked his head, “Do I meet with your approval?”

The smile on Jared’s face was both sly and sweet.

Jensen shook his head, marveling, “Far beyond my expectations.”

Jared bit his lip and bounced on his feet, looking around – the room was colored in bright fabrics and bamboo – it was so light. The theme of this party meant the Everleigh sisters had lifted their ban that only wine and champagne be served and had allowed rum. Tonight was Caribbean, all the way. There was even a calypso band playing in the corner.

Jensen smiled at Jared’s obvious enthusiasm, “There is a palm reader in one of the other rooms. There are some who say that she is really has the sight.”

“Really?” Jared squealed.

Jensen bit back a grin, “Really.”

Jared leaned in and bumped his shoulder, “Can we go see her?”

His unabashed enthusiasm made Jensen grin like a loon.

“Anything you want,” Jensen said honestly.

Jensen steered him towards the door and led him to a small black woman who was wearing a turban, she looked at Jared and he felt suddenly like she could see every part of him.

She cocked her head and reached for his hand.

She looked up at him, not bothering to even look at his hand. She stared and it made Jared uncomfortable. She looked at him with wistfulness and pity.

“Embrace it, Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki’s,” she said, her voice quivering, “What you want to know, know now. Now is your happy.”

She looked at Jensen, her dark eyes serious, “When he asks say yes. You won’t regret it.”

Jensen tried not to shudder at this woman. She was just four kinds of creepy.

They walked away slowly from her cryptic remarks.

Fortunately Mike was there, hanging over them, feeding them the rarely available rum. The liquid loosened his lips and he began to tell stories. He had one customer who used to like to climb a ladder and throw feathers onto his naked body. It would turn the guy on so much that he would jack off right there. He had another customer who would like to drizzle oranges onto Mike and then rub his naked body on the juice. Mike described this experience as unnecessarily sticky.

Everyone was laughing hysterically. Tom told stories of guys who enjoyed using crucifixes as a means of getting off. Which kind of made Jared cringe.

Even Jensen had stories of guys who liked to call him Felicia.

Everyone was howling.

“So this one time, there was this huge guy, screwing into me,” Mike was going on, “This guy wasn’t so good looking, but he moved like he actually knew where he was going and his cock crooked in the right place.”

Jared’s eyes were as wide as saucers. He was a little tipsy but he had never heard anyone talk like this. People did not talk like this in his circles.

Then he made a connection.

“You do that,” Jared said huskily to Jensen as if they were the only people in the room, “Do you like it?”

Jensen shrugged, “Not all the time, but sometimes it’s pretty great.”

Jared thought for a moment.

Jensen cuffed his head, “Stop thinking so loud you goof spill.”

“I want…” Jared said, hazy from the drink, heady and just wanting so much, “I want to know what you feel.”

Mike, who frequently did the kinky bastards and was never taken by surprise, that Mike’s jaw dropped, “Let’s let the boys negotiate.”

Sophia put her hand on her fist, “I want to hear more.”

Mike dragged her away.

Jared’s eyes didn’t notice them; the sight before him fascinated him. He was so open and young. Jensen looked at him because he didn’t believe in the innocence and curiosity of Jared’s face. He didn’t believe in fairy tales.

But there was something about the absolute in Jared’s face; it was something so pure and sure.

“It’ll hurt,” Jensen warned, trying to get out of this conversation.

“You’ll make it good,” Jared said with absolute faith.

“I usually don’t do this,” Jensen told him, “I can get Tom.”

“I don’t want, Tom,” Jared whined.

Jensen nodded; he didn’t want Tom to have the kid either, “I’m usually the one getting fucked.”

“Then I’ll be special,” Jared said dimpling.

Jensen stopped. How the hell had someone so nice and pure found his way into a whorehouse? He looked over at the palm reader, suddenly remembering her words. She was staring intently at him. She nodded her head, just once.

“Yes,” Jensen managed, “Yes I’ll fuck you.”

Jared clapped his hands together. Like he was a child and Jensen had said that he could have more candy.

Jared reached out and laced his fingers through Jensen’s, “Can we use the Royal Room. The other ones kind of creep me out.”

Jensen looked down at their combined hands in confusion, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Jensen gave him a small smile and extracted his hand from Jared’s death grip, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Jared looked around the room. Sophia appeared, “So you’re really going to loose your virginity.”

Fortunately he was getting good at not being shocked, “If Jensen is free.”

She smiled and patted him on the arm, “Oh honey Jensen will definitely be free for you.”

Jared took a deep breath and managed to look apprehensive, “Do you think that this is a bad idea?”

Sophia rolled her eyes, “Did you see the look on Jensen’s face? He was dazed. I’ve never seen him anything besides cool and collected.”

Jared stopped, apprehension sweeping across him. He was suddenly scared, this all-of-a-sudden seemed so very big.

Then Jared sucked in a breath; for most of his life had been run by fear, fear of failing, fear of disappointing everyone, fear of breaking some kind of social code.

He had never taken risks. He had never built a little place inside of himself that was only his, he belonged to everyone else, his parents, Sandy, never to himself.

He was surprised to find that somewhere inside of him a little lean to had been constructed.

It was a little place that felt so strongly like himself he was a little shocked. He could feel his own tastes and sights. For the first time in his life, he felt like ‘Jared.’

He was a little surprised at how sure he was. This was something that he wanted that he was going to bury himself in.

He looked up and found Jensen walking towards him, a little hesitant. Jared just stared at him, feeling hazy and smoky. Jared felt like liquid as he walked towards Jensen. Jensen raised and eyebrow and Jared leaned in, slowly nipping at his mouth, licking, taking his time.

When he pulled back, Jensen bit at his ear, “Lets go upstairs.”

Jensen’s voice was husky and hitching.

Jared pulled him closer, “Please.”

**

The room was warm and smelled like the musky oil that Jensen had painted him with, the first time they had indulged in a real bed.

When the door closed Jensen curled back into Jared and kissed him. The boys continued to kiss, all the while Jensen’s expert hands rolling Jared out of his clothes.

Jensen reached underneath his shirt as if the skin beneath was a carefully guarded secret, as if it was a secret sin that should not be known by mere mortals.

Jared hissed at the first contact, aroused beyond being able to speak.

“Are you going to show me things?” Jared asked low and dirty.

Jensen, not answering simply pushing him back on the bed and for a moment he just looked at the expanse of tanned skin before him; long legs sprawling in every direction, a face still marked with smeared kohl and a body, cut and defined.

“You are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen,” Jensen sighed, swaying forwards on his feet to breathe in deeply the scent of the man who lay below him, before slipping his own clothing off, Jared watching all the while.

Jared looked at Jensen as he slowly took off his clothing, “Then you don’t own a mirror.”

They just watched each other and lightly touched themselves, running hands over flesh that was waiting.

“If you don’t touch me,” Jared rasped just watching Jensen standing above him with all smooth lines, “I’m going to die.”

Jensen crawled on the bed and slowly came to rest on top of Jared. He just lightly teased, barely brushing any skin, barely tasting.

Jared let out a growl and pulled Jensen to him, biting at his lips, licking in, and demanding to be heard.

Jensen was hardly a small man, nobody ever manhandled him. He felt vulnerable.

Hands tangled over skin. Jared’s mouth moaned, Jensen bit back, asking.

The room was full of their sighs, of the half intelligible words.

“Please,” Jared asked.

Jensen’s mouth skated over his chest, nipping at the flat nipples, and Jared arched into this mouth.

“Please, please, please,” Jared begged, his head thrown back. Jensen had to take this back. His head was spinning. He had to take back control. He bit into the soft skin of Jared’s hipbone, sucking and licking.

Jared mewled; he felt a finger push at him, slick and warm, and nearly flew off the bed when Jensen swallowed him down at the same second.

The noise he made was like a strangled roar. Jensen just smiled and worked at sucking his dick and slowly working into him, rubbing the bundle of nerves that brought back that wonderful noise.

“Please,” Jared said, “I need you. I need to touch you. I need to feel you.”

Jensen slid off him and up his body.

Jared slipped his hand over Jensen’s neck, “Show me.”

His eyes were bright and liquid, his body stretched out for Jensen, waiting and trusting. Jared was exuding pure sexuality was enough to jar Jensen into another world, into the awaiting feeling of pure arousal. He was so hard he didn’t think that he would make it ten seconds inside Jared.

Jensen rocked his dick, sliding into Jared’s asscrack.

Jared’s head arched back, roapy muscles straining against skin, and Jensen couldn’t resist, he leaned out and nipped, sucking a mark into Jared’s skin.

It was so wrong, but he just wanted to put his mark on Jared. He wanted Jared to have something tangible to remember this.

“Please,” Jared said, “Show me. Show me.”

Jensen watched Jared writhe under him. Watched the boy he had only known for a few weeks, wide open and begging, wanting and unashamedly asking for it. He was so alive.

He leaned down, “It’s going to hurt.” He murmured against the skin of his throat.

Jared felt the burn, it was something he wanted.

“I’ve got you,” Jensen promised as he pushed into him and nearly passed out at the pure pleasure around him. Jared was hot and tight and the best kept secret in the world. Jensen felt a bit of deliciousness because he was the only one who knew this. He was the only person in the entire world who had ever felt this.

Jared groaned and Jensen stilled. Then Jared moved a little bit and let out a noise that had Jensen panting. Jensen moved a hand and reached for Jared’s cock, heavy and aching.

“I told you that I’d make you feel good,” Jensen said low and husky and barely in control, “I told you that I would show you things you never knew and would never forget.”

Jared’s hands clawed at the sheet, looking for leverage, looking for friction.

Jensen couldn’t believe Jared reaction, to him, to his body. He could barely figure out his own reaction.

It seemed that he could only see color, the color of Jared’s skin, the glow of his eyes, the bright silk below his back. Jensen could only feel the world around him, the heat of Jared’s cock agonizing and begging for release.

Jensen rolled his hips and moved in and pulled out, relishing the sensation.

Jared was keening.

“Open your eyes,” Jensen said hoarsely, “I want to watch you.”

Jared struggled to get over the sensations and rise to the world. He looked at Jensen through thoroughly aroused eyes. He smiled.

“Jensen,” Jared let out and came heavily in Jensen’s hand.

Jensen could hardly stay in control as Jared’s ass clenched around him so he buried himself in Jared’s neck and he came so hard that he thought his brain was going to bust out of his head.  
They lay there for a moment, silent and reeling. They just lay there and felt the pleasure thrum through their veins, pulses slowing gradually. They didn’t feel as if they were on earth. They were orbiting their bodies, strumming with pleasure.

They just lay there together, feeling each other, pulses wildly out of control.

But it was a while later when Jensen had the breath to speak, and the lack of presence of mind to control what came out of his mouth.

“What are you doing?” Jensen gasped, “You’re tearing me apart piece by piece.”

Jared leaned back staring at Jensen with heated eyes, “What are you doing, you’re changing me, piece by piece.”

They just stared at each other with these strange new sensations. Jared wasn’t used to being this strong, Jensen wasn’t used to being this open. They were changing and out of control.

They couldn’t stop. Even if they had a desire to.

**Chapter 8**

“I can’t believe that you like the White Soxs,” Jared said leaning back in bed, hands behind his head.

Jensen balanced a tray of food against his hip, walking completely naked towards the bed, “And the Cubs are so very great.”

“Bring me food and I’ll forget that you have terrible tastes in sports teams,” Jared said looking at the spread greedily.

“You do know for the last two weeks,” Jensen said between bites, “Every time I see you you’re either eating or…”

Jensen grinned, he knew exactly what Jared had been doing for the past two weeks, or atleast whom.

Jared grinned right back, “What am I ruining business?”

“Not so much,” Jensen replied, “Those white slavers are cutting into business. I am just thinking that you are going to loose that pretty little tan by staying in this room so much.”

“We haven’t been just in this room. There has been the Jade room, the Rivera room, and the Plum room, and the Mirror room,” Jared let out a shudder, that night had just been weird, seeing himself had been hot, but the large mirror on the ceiling had distracted him many times.

“Cheeky bastard,” Jensen muttered.

“So, is there a party tonight?” Jared asked.

“Isn’t there always,” Jensen replied licking jam off of Jared’s neck because Jared ate like the world’s biggest slob and always got food everywhere. This was one of those things that Jensen was slowly learning about Jared, “Minna decided that tonight we need to have a old west night. I’m wearing chaps.”

Jared stopped chewing and had a fantastic mental image.

“What am I going to wear?” Jared asked when he regained his composure.

Jensen smirked, “I’m sure you have something.”

Jared looked confused.

“You’re a Texas boy,” Jensen said feeding him fruit, “Pull out your stesson, grab a belt buckle. Surprise me.”

Jared ate the fruit as he dimpled, “You trust me to dress myself?”

Jensen bit his lip and looked at Jared, strewn out messily on the bed, pineapple juice dripping down his chin. He leaned in close, licking his way to Jared’s mouth. Jared opened his mouth and Jensen tugged at Jared’s lips, biting the bottom lip.

“I wish you never had to dress yourself,” Jensen said huskily.

Jared’s eyes glazed over ,“We have time.”

“We’ll make time,” Jensen said pulling him close, teeth nipping away as he spoke.

Jared flipped him and kissed him into the bed, pressing against him, bodies flush. Jensen let out a little whimper. He would never ever admit to this freely, barely to himself, but having Jared’s hands flipping him over, pawing at him, dominating him, was something that turned him on beyond belief. He had always hated it when clients manhandled him during sex, he had always wanted to be in control, but he was so out of control with Jared.

This situation with Jared was different from anything he had expierenced. He was so out of control that it was almost a comfort to have Jared in control. It showed him how to act, how to be because he was loosing any kind of ground in this situation. His thoughts were just ‘Jared’ and that scared him, but not having that scared him most. So he just let Jared lead because then he didn’t have to think about it, he didn’t have to figure out how to act. He could just be.

He just let Jared kiss him and touch him, because damn that boy was a fast learner in a matter of weeks he knew how to touch someone to evoke that much pleasure. Jensen may have always been the one being fucked, but he had never actually had someone fuck him.

Jared was different. Jared loved getting him off, got full joy out of listening to the noises that Jensen made. There was nothing put on about this noise, this wasn’t being a prostitute, or playing up to the client. This was wanting someone to have sex with him, to him

Hands ran down Jensen’s sides, thumbs digging into the soft flesh besides his hipbone, holding him in place as he tried to arch his back.

“I know,” Jared said hoarsely, tonguing over his shoulder, “We just did this, but can I…”

“You can do anything,” Jensen said, “Feeling you…”

“Feeling you,” Jared whispered back, hands slipping lower.

Jensen let out a whimper as Jared entered him.

“Am I hurting you?” Jared stilled and Jensen let out a heady moan as Jared’s stilled cock rubbed against his prostate with every breath.

“Dear lord in holy fucking Jesus Christ,” Jensen swore.

Jared laughed low and guttural, but didn’t move, “You don’t believe in that.”

“Fucking move,” Jensen ground out, trying to move, but Jared’s hands held him fast.

Jared moved, but ever slow, back and forth, but it was only a tiny rock of his hips.

“I’m. Going. To. Kill. You,” Jensen said hooking his feet over the backs of Jared’s knees, flipping him over, to slide down Jared’s dick. He let out a sigh of relief and moaned in relief and pleasure.

Jared lay back, holding onto Jensen’s hips watching the pure bliss on Jensen’s face, watching Jensen slowly riding him, head thrown back in pleasure. Jensen looked like pure sin, freckles glowing in the candlelight; he was wanton and lost in the moment.

Jared reached out a hand and stroked at Jensen’s cock, and Jensen shuddered in pure pleasure.

Jared just watched Jensen ride him.

“Baby, you feel so good,” Jensen said through clenched teeth.

A tremor went through Jared, and Jensen looked down through hooded eyes, “Like that? You like it when I call you baby?”

Jared tried not nod, but he gave himself away.

“Baby, you feel so fucking good,” Jensen said whispering in his ear, “Baby you’re so hard and you fill me up so I remember you when you aren’t here. You make me feel you for days, baby.”

And Jared catapulted his hips upwards so quickly; he was coming so hard he thought that the top of his head was going to come off. Jensen grabbed his dick, watching Jared made him loose it.

Jared panted into Jensen’s mouth, regaining his breath.

They just lay there holding on, until Jensen swatted him off.

“Go bathe,” Jensen said looking down at the wildly smiling Jared, “You smell and you have a party.”

“See you there?” Jared asked looking for his pants.

Jensen couldn’t resist. He kissed the base of Jared’s neck, when he spoke Jared could feel Jensen’s breath and his lips against his neck, “With chaps on.”

Jared shuddered.

Jensen then pushed him out of bed, “Go get ready.”

**

It had taken Jared three hours and Megan’s help to find his cowboy hat and belt buckle. She had taken almost as much delight as the Everleigh girls in dressing him.

“Are you sure that you haven’t been going to the Everleigh Club?” he asked.

“What does that mean?” Megan asked taken aback, “Afraid of me stealing your honey?”

Jared laughed, “You’re not his type. I was more thinking that you’re pretty much like the girls who work there.”

Megan scrunched up her nose, “I’m a whore now?”

“No dear sister,” Jared said, “You’re a lady of the night.”

She punched him.

“Ow you little shrew,” Jared replied fixing his collar, “Nah the girls are just all about dressing me up in costumes and having a good time about it.”

Megan thought for a moment, “They sound like normal girls.”

“They’re probably the most fun girls in the world. They just don’t sit back and take life, they’re so alive and vibrant and real,” Jared said.

She just watched him.

“Megan,” Chad said from the doorway, “Give me a minute with your brother.”

Megan looked at him, “Why should I, lizard breath?”

He held up a hand, “Not now Megan.”

His voice was so serious that she was taken aback, and followed his directions.

Chad walked into the room and closed the door. Jared didn’t know what Chad was doing here or why he was being weirder than usual.

“You’ve got to stop this,” Chad told him.

Jared glared at him, “You are the one that said it was okay to do all of this. You said doing a dude was fine.”

“You look like a rutted antelope, you’re gone all the time,” Chad told him, “Your mother is cornering me asking about your ‘nocturnal activities’ like it’s my fault. How much money have you spent? How much have you thrown at his ass?”

Jared looked confused, “None.”

Chad’s jaw dropped. This was so much worse. He thought that this was a transaction, he thought that this was fucking. Somewhere glass faced Padalecki, who only seemed to be able to lie at cards had become something he couldn’t read.

“Shit,” Chad swore, “You weren’t supposed to fall in love with him on my watch.”

“Your watch?” Jared asked incredulously, “You make it sound as if I’m some kind of child.”

Chad let out a bark of laughter, “You’re not a child, you’re my best friend and I am supposed to take care of you. All the sudden you’re falling for hookers. I’m the bad one, I’m the one they blame everything on. You’re not supposed to be like this”

Jared pushed past him, he was not going to listen to his friend deride him for something that his said best friend did often. He wasn’t going to let Chad morally berate him for the one place, outside of Chad and Megan that let him be himself.

“They think you’re with me,” Chad said softly.

Jared stilled. He grasped the doorframe in his hand.

“I told them that there was this card game,” Chad continued, “I inferred that it was with shady people, and said that I needed you because you were better. Your mother will never say anything because she so desperately wants my mother’s approval.”

Jared turned around.

“You’re my friend,” Chad said, he stood defiantly and continued, “You’re pretty much the only one I’ve got. You’ve protected me forever. I owe you one.”

Jared softened, “Thank you. This means…”

Chad held up a hand, “I know what it means Jared. That’s why I did it.”

 

**Chapter 9**

“Fucking bitch,” Jensen swore as he tried to breathe into the pants that he was supposed to wear that night. Ada had been adamant that Jensen was going to wear these particular chaps, which seemed to be about three sizes too small.

Mike was snickering. He could. He was wearing soft buckskin pants and fringe vest. His clothing was tight, but it still allowed for breathing room.

“Do you think that she knows that this is not my size?” Jensen breathed in and tried to will the pants on.

Tom came to the doorway between his and Mike’s room and the common room. Tom of course was dressed in black leather pants and a black leather vest. The outfit was complete with pistols crossing over his six pack abs.

Tom looked at the pants half on Jensen and cocked his head, “I’m pretty sure that Ada knows exactly what size your ass is.”

Jensen, very not amused, glared at Tom. The Jensen Ackles stare was not to be taken lightly, Jensen Ackles had invented the glare.

Tom just shrugged at him and snickered.

He went into the hallway and yelled, “Sophia, bring the powder.”

Jensen scrambled into his room, hiding in propriety from Sophia who had seen more than it all.

Sophia popped into Jensen’s room a few minutes later and held out a jar.

“Here is some powder to help you get those pants up your sweaty thighs,” Sophia held out the jar with both hands, looking up innocently, “Want help.”

Jensen glared at her, “Give me the fucking jar.”

Sophia winked at him, “Can’t wait to see them on you, hot buns.”

**

When Jared entered the backdoor his heart nearly stopped. He could see Jensen there, bare to the waist, and wearing impossibly tight chaps, hipbones visible over the waistline.

Jared was struck dumb. He had seen Jensen naked on multiple occasions. However there was something about the soft leather that clung to Jensen’s legs like a second skin was the sexier than nakedness. It looked like someone was painted on, but all body parts were covered and that seemed to taunt Jared.

Jensen grinned under Jared’s look, Jensen knew exactly what Jared was thinking. Instead of a sultry smile, a grin crossed his face.

Jensen put out his arms and slowly turned, showing Jared the way the pants hugged every part of his legs and round ass covered in dark soft leather.

Jared’s mouth went completely and totally dry.

It was a moment before he realized that Jensen was looking up at him eyes bright.

“You look…nice,” Jared finally managed.

Jensen held up a finger and made the motion for Jared to do a similar turn around. Jared couldn’t do anything besides stumble as he turned around slowly.

Jensen looked at Jared from head to toe, just as appraisingly. He noted the huge belt buckle that couldn’t be made anywhere but in Texas. His incredibly long legs were glad in faded denim that seemed to fall perfectly. On his head was an honest to god Stetson. Jared had left Texas years ago, but it was still burned into him. He looked ever inch the Texan he was.

Jensen found nothing wrong and everything right about the man before him.

Jared just blushed under the intense scrutiny he wasn’t used to anyone looking so much at him, someone seeing him. He tried to remember how to breathe and he heard the clinking in his pockets.

He remembered and pulled out the contents, in his huge hands were little vials.

“I brought the girls presents,” Jared said hopelessly blissful.

Jensen took the treasure trove from Jared’s hands and uncorked one bottle. He held it to his nose. It was oil.

Jensen raised an eyebrow at the generous gift.

In the newly emerging world of automobiles those who couldn’t afford such a luxury often took to wearing oil as perfume. It really was all the rage.

Jared thought it was weird, but it reminded him of summers in the dusty sun and nights listening to the cicadas.

And girls in the Everleight house went gaga over it, so he wanted to indulge them in something he had in abundance.

Jensen inhaled again. The smell was stirring something in his gut.

For a moment he was very silent. Just remembering. He was remembering something before. He remembered childhood, in that before time that he didn’t believe was real anymore.

Jensen looked up at Jared and Jared could see the memories in his eyes.

“This reminds me of home. You remind me of home,” Jensen drawled in a daydream.

Finally, Jensen shook himself out of that world, that world that didn’t belong here.

He stepped forward, taking out a bandana and came to stand before Jared. He leaned in and put the bandana on Jared, covering the lower half of his face, touching the curls that unfurled under his neck.

Goosebumps rose on Jared’s neck and he couldn’t resist a shudder.

And Jared was lost in the green of the eyes and yellow flecks of Jensen’s eyes. He wanted to know what was behind those eyes, what Jensen saw in those far away moments.

“How long has it been since you’ve been home?” Jared asked quietly, mildly curious.

And Jared wanted to sink into Jensen, wanted to be part of his little world, a world that seemed safe and happy.

Jensen got a curiously unguarded look in his eyes. He had been thinking of BEFORE, not the reason he left, he didn’t want to think of what he had to do when he left. Not with Jared right there.

“Far too long,” was all that Jensen would offer.

There was a moment of touching, a moment when the honesty threatened to break this world of make-believe. Then Jensen cleared his throat.

And that was enough to break the spell.

Jensen pulled away from Jared and it almost hurt.

“I’m pretty booked up tonight. These pants are bringing in the guys, so I don’t have time tonight, but the madams would adore your company.”

Jared followed him for a moment and then came to a dead stop.

“C’mon Jared,” Jensen said, “This is my job. You know it’s like this sometimes.”

Intellectually Jared knew what happened with Jensen, but something hurt a little bit that he could have a little part of Jensen and it didn’t seem to make a difference. He would just go on like this morning, like everything, had never happened.

Jared had to ask, he just had to know.

“Do you ever think about me when you’re with them?”

It was so out of the left field that Jensen had to stop and think about the question for a moment. He weighed his options and for the millionth time he wished that the kid wasn’t getting so close to him. The honestly was getting dangerous, it was cutting into everything he knew.

“No Jared,” Jensen said softly, “You’re never in the room when I’m with them. You’re a safe place for me. It would be sacrilege to bring you into the room, even in thought. I never think of you when it is someone else.”

“Oh,” Jared said, somewhat dumbfounded.

Jensen turned, lifting his eyes to meet Jared’s in the dark hallway. He raised an eyebrow and something warm fell over Jared. The jealousy dissipated. He knew that he had a part of Jensen that they didn’t.

“I’m glad,” he said softly.

Jensen looked at him, really looked at him; then looked through him and shook his head.

“I’ve got to work now,” Jensen said, far too raw, “And by work I mean I will be fucking people and not thinking of you.”

Jared couldn’t think of a reply to that. It was harsh and terrible, but it was still like the greatest love sonnet ever written. Jensen nodded and turned to go up the stairs.

Jared couldn’t do a thing but follow.

**

Jared looked over the banister into the room. The girls were dressed in corsets and tiny dresses, as was Mike, not so strangely. He could see Minna and Ada as they sat on their perch watching the happenings downstairs; it was an honest to god saloon. The girls were dancing with their striped socks and lacy garters showing.

“Hey boy,” Minna said when she noticed him, coming to kiss his cheek. She offered him a flute before pouring Champagne into it.

“You guys have been to Texas,” Jared noted; the authenticity of the décor below proved that.

Minna nodded, “We’ve been everywhere Jared.”

Jared watched for a moment, watched Jensen cozy up to a man in a suit. He was in full on business mode, he was smoldering. Jared knew what this was; he knew what Jensen did with these men. And it had never bothered him until this moment. He had seen so deep into Jensen he didn’t want to share. He felt something strangely possessive and it wrenched his gut in ways he was not prepared to talk about.

“You’ve been coming around a lot,” Minna commented, knowing exactly where his attention was.

Jared looked up sheepishly, but defiantly, “You said I could, you said it was fine.”

Ada looked at him, “We said that you could be here, but do you remember our terms?”

“I’m not interfering,” he said with his newfound confidence, “I’m here when he’ll let me.”

Minna looked over the balcony to the little façade below, “He’s not going to give up this life Jared. You aren’t the kind of guy who will share for long.”

Jared stood still, “You’re kicking me out?”

Ada stood up, “Jared we just want to make it clear what this is. This dalliance is wonderful for him, but I want to make something very clear. If he were ever to ask, we would let him go, but he will never ask. He has been doing this for fifteen years and he’s independent now. He will never become someone’s property. Never again.”

Jared wanted to ask about Jensen’s past, he wanted to know what a thirteen-year-old boy had to do to survive, to support his family. Then he found he really didn’t want to know.

“He has enough money to leave,” Ada continued, “He makes more money than any of the girls. He came here with more than enough money to retire, but he won’t. He has the money for himself and for his kid sister. We offer him something he can’t find out there. He feels safe here and he is. The world doesn’t like his kind.”

“What a prostitute?” Jared bit out, hating her for perpetuating something that would make Jensen so unlikeable.

“No,” Minna said softly, “The world doesn’t like men who like other men. It’s just a fact. Homosexuals are not welcomed typically. I’ve seen men get beaten to death for liking other men and the police hardly raised a finger. We offer him safety, and that is the one thing he came here asking us for.”

“Know what you’re getting into Jared,” Ada said in her brisk manner, “You stopped being a child a while ago, I’ve watched it happen. But know this; the world isn’t your parlor and full of pretty things.”

Jared chugged down his Champagne and held out his glass, “You’ve given me the rules and I’ve followed them. Are you changing them now?”

Minna smiled for show and Ada tightly wrapped her lips around her teeth, “No Jared, you’re still welcome here. We do like you quite a bit, everyone here likes you.”

“Having you in the house is like a breath of fresh air,” Minna agreed.

Jared’s glass was filled and Ada lit a cigarette.

“So tell me about Paris,” Minna said, sitting down prettily, “Jensen’s says you’ve been. Don’t leave out any detail.”

Jared was a little shell-shocked at the abrupt change in conversation, but he spoke about the Seine and the carousels, he spoke of the art and the vibrancy of life. Minna interrogated him about fashion and Ada asked of Versailles. Jared uncoiled a little bit, talking and giving as much information as he could remember.

There was something though, when he was watching Jensen make his way in the room, cheeks flushed and body taught, that made him want to throw up. He had never thought this was wrong before, but he wanted something more, something more than just sex.

He wanted Jensen in his bed tonight, not for sex, but for those raspy late night conversations. Seeing him with other men felt like an ache that was just beginning, but couldn’t be anything good.

**

Tom came up for awhile once the madams left. Jared had, had little contact with him since his time here and was surprised to learn that he was a complete and total gossip. He knew things about everyone, customers and employees alike.

He shared his knowledge with a bored flutter, as if everyone should know that Daneel was completely in love with all men who liked other men and how Sophia was in love with Alona. He told stories that were so ridiculously funny that Jared almost forgot to be depressed.

Tom told stories about Jared’s peers and shared way too much information on his brother.

“Dear lord stop,” Jared gasped, covering his ears.

Tom held that far too innocent smile and looked down at the floor where Jensen was going for patron number three.

For once second Jensen looked up and caught Jared’s eye.

“He’s crazy about you,” Tom said conversationally from his place on the lounge chair, “We’ve worked here for four years together, he’s been here a little longer than that, but I’ve never seen him actually like someone he’s fucking.”

Jared watched Jensen’s retreating figure, trying not to jump over the banister and kill the man down there.

“Would you leave and stay away,” Tom asked coming up besides him silently, “If it were too much for him to bear?”

Jared swallowed, “Is it?”

Tom shook his head, “Not yet, but promise me that you’ll leave, because he’ll never ask you to.”

Jared was tired of the warnings, of all these people telling him what to do.

“Tell me to leave right now,” Jared growled, “Or let what is between me and him to be between me and him.”

Tom held up his hands in submission.

“No,” Jared said vehemently, “I’m tired of all the cloaked warnings and stupid people telling me how to live my life. For a few blessed hours a week I get to relax and speak my mind and be me. I’m not hurting anyone. I just get a chance to relax and not to care about anything besides this. I like him and I think he likes me. Why can’t I have a few hours a week that mean something? Why can’t he? We’re not fucking children! We can make up our own minds.”

Tom looked at him steadily and then smiled, “Welcome to the Everleigh Club, where all your dreams can come true. You surprise me kid; you’re not what I would have pegged you for when you first came in.”

Jared glared daggers at him.

Tom smiled, “I mean that in the best way Jared. You have the girls wrapped around your fingers, Minna and Ada sing your praises, and Mike grumbles that he doesn’t see you enough. And Jensen..well, you all about that. You’ve got more back bone than I have ever given you credit for.”

Jared’s hands balled up at his side.

Tom looked at him seriously and let out a sigh, “I know Jensen tells you this is just the fantasy, but you’ve really got to know that this is as much the real world as the place outside of these doors. It can hurt and be happy just as much.”

Jared gripped the banister, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.

That lesson was being learned every moment of every day.

**

It was almost dawn when Jensen came in, a very drunk Sophia was entertaining Jared.

Jensen’s hair was wet and he was wearing simple trousers and a soft jersey shirt. He sat next to Jared, his hands folded. One look and Sophia scurried out of the balcony

Jared didn’t speak for longer than Jensen had ever heard him not speak.

“I know they’ve been talking,” Jensen finally said, “Just stop thinking and get it out.”

Jared was quiet as he gathered his words.

“I’ve had all of the people in this place who love you, telling me to stay away,” Jared said, looking at his hands, “Tell me to leave if that is what you want. Tell me to go away.”

Jared’s voice broke and Jensen knew what this was and he didn’t want to go there. Jensen didn’t want to go there, but he had let Jared in a little and it threatened to tear him apart if he didn’t let him in all the way. He didn’t want to do this, but something at him was clawing at him, was clawing its way out from a place that he didn’t even recognize.

So he breathed in air of confidence and let out a string of confessions, because Jared needed to know the whole story.

“I was thirteen and the only thing I’ve ever loved was dying. My sister was mine to protect and I did what I had to. My mom was dead and my brother was an outlaw,” Jensen said, willing himself not to cry, “For the last fifteen years all I could do was put one foot in front of the other and continue on. I did what I needed to in order to survive, and most of it hasn’t been pretty. I’ve done things that make me feel dirty just to think about, but then I’m standing in front of you and I feel clean, I feel as if the past decade and a half wasn’t me. When I’m standing in front of you something in me feels whole, I feel like a real person. You see me as a real person and that is all I can feel.”

Jared looked at him, drinking in Jensen.

“I didn’t fuck any of them Jared,” Jensen said, not meeting Jared’s eyes, “They wanted to. I-I just couldn’t. I could still feel you. It just seemed wrong.”

The last part was barely a whisper. It was forced out as if it was too much to bear.

Jensen hated himself for saying it, but the look in Jared’s eyes had been of betrayal, which wasn’t fair, but it was there. Jensen had to say something real, to let Jared know that.

Jared reached out and traced down Jensen’s jaw-line. He leaned in for a kiss.

And that is when the shots rang out.

 

**Chapter 10**

 

Jared and Jensen were the first to reach the room. It took them a minute to take stock of the mess before them: Daneel stood watching the figure lying before her, bleeding out completely.

Jensen blinked; this wasn’t the first time that he had seen something like this, but Jared on the other hand stilled and then realized what he was looking at and proceeded to throw up the contents of his stomach in Minna and Ada’s Ming Dynasty vase.

Jensen just watched Daneel who was looking between the gun and the man on the ground, when Mike and Tom skidded in.

They stopped and just looked.

“Holy shit,” the typically quiet Tom said.

“Marshall Jr,” Jared managed before retching again.

They all looked at him.

He looked up at them, his eyes gleaming from the force of his retching.

“That’s Marshall Fields Jr.,” Jared managed in a shaky voice, “I grew up with him.”

Daneel looked at them with glazed eyes, still holding the gun.

“Holy fuck,” Mike swore, “She’s wasted.”

She seemed to come alive at that moment, as if realizing what she had done.

“Don’t tell Minna and Ada,” she whispered, “They’ll kill me for being high.”

The men looked at the body on the floor.

“Honey,” Mike said not so charitably, “They’re the least of your worries. You just shot one of the wealthiest men in Chicago.”

She dropped the gun as if it were on fire, “I didn’t mean to. It was just a game.”

They looked at Marshall Fields Jr.

There were a lot of words that needed to be said, they just didn’t have the courage to tell the hopped up Daneel the truth of the matter.

Finally they all turned to Mike who had the least amount of ethical boundaries in the room, Mike who would tell her how it was.

“You just shot one of the scions of Chicago,” Mike said slowly, “Marshall Fields owns more than god, and now his son is bleeding out on Minna’s oriental carpet. You’re going to have more to answer to more than just Minna and Ada. This is epic honey.”

Her eyes grew wide to match her already dilated pupils.

The three men behind Jared felt their future crash so hard around them, that they didn’t even notice Minna and Ada coming up behind them.

The madams looked at the scene calmly, and behind them were all the girls and half a dozen johns from the Everleigh Club.

Daneel looked at them all with absolute terror.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes tearing up, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean….Please…they’ll send me away, they’ll kill me.”

The madams just steadily looked at her. They were calculating everything. This calamity had the potential to ruin them; this could quite possibly make everything that they had worked for in the last five years obsolete. This girl would most likely die if Marshall Fields Jr. died and so would the reputation of the club. The club was already precaiously on the edge of the law. It was one little thing which would bring down the wrath of Chicago.

Minna looked to Ada, as always.

Everyone in the room stood still, waiting to see what the edict would be. They all knew that Ada’s decision would determine the course of the house.

“Lauren, Katie,” Ada finally said, “Take Daneel to her room. Pack up her belongings. She’s leaving town as soon as humanly possible.”

The relief on Daneel’s face was unmistakable, understandable. Nobody wanted to be in that position. And no matter what Daneel had done, the madam’s were going to protect their own beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Also the fact that they could simply claim that the girl had suddenly left if anyone came calling meant that the house could remain as unblemished as possible, if such things could be said.

The law was already breathing down their necks and the missionaries protesting on most nights were making it hard for business. It was as if the city was holding its breath, waiting for the Everleigh House to make one mistake so they could jump in and come down on the house like horde of locusts.

Mina and Ada stood before their girls and their more than loyal clientel and tried to maintain the decorum that the insisted for their house.

Daneel was whisked away and Minna and Ada looked at the body on their floor, Tom was stanching the bullet buried in his stomach. This kind of wound wasn’t ever promising.

They were, as always, impassively calm.

“Someone needs to take him home,” Ada said quietly of the body, “He can’t be found here.”

“How the hell are you going to manage that,” Tom said calmly and rationally, blood flowing through his fingers.

“We can’t just pop up at the backdoor and say ‘hey Marshall Fields Jr. was shot in my whorehouse,” Mike said steadily, “They’re going to shut us down.”

The room was eerily silent.

Minna was composed, but those who knew her well knew that she was seconds away from breaking.

Jared, amongst the panic, suddenly stood tall.

“I can take him back,” Jared informed the room, breaking the silence, “I can sneak him into his house. The servants won’t say anything if I bring him back. They won’t say anything. They know better. They know that if they start to talk about this they will loose everything. The Field’s pay their help well. If they breathe a word they’ll loose their comfortable lives. Plus nobody would ever place me here. I’m not known as that kind of guy.”

“No,” Jensen said , the tone of his voice leaving no room for argument.

“Jen, no one will question me,” Jared began

But Jensen cut him off, “But what if they do Jared? What then? You’re going to march in there with a bleeding body. Somebody has to say something.”

Jared looked at him, his eyes full of pleading for understanding “Well, if anyone does ask me questions I’ll just say his boy came to get me, and I don’t know where he had been. He had just been bleeding out in a cab.” He paused looking at Jensen then, “I grew up with him. Everyone will believe me.”

The rest of the room faded away and Jensen didn’t see anything but Jared. He saw something in Jared’s eyes that was so trusting and so purely…

Jensen didn’t want to go there. He didn’t want to know what that look in Jared’s eyes was.

Jensen’s calm cracked and his eyes turned a little frantic, “No.”

Jared turned to him, “I’m the only one who can do it. I am the only one who can do it so no one gets in trouble. They’ll vouch for me.”

“You can’t go out there,” Jensen said a little manically, “If you go out there then there is a chance that you could get into seriously real trouble. You could get sent away. You could ruin your life. This isn’t worth it. We aren’t worth it.

Jared smiled, “I think you are.”

“I can’t protect you if you do this.”

Jensen said the words before he could figure out how to block them from exiting his mouth and once he said it he was almost petrified of those words as he had been of Jared getting in trouble.

Jared smiled at him, not the blinding smile of the boy who came into the house, but the smile of a man.

“If he stays here,” Jared whispered, “I can’t protect you. Right now you’re the one who needs to be protected. I can make you safe. Let me.”

Jensen looked up to him, completely shook.

“You…you want to take care of me?” Jensen asked.

Jared nodded, completely and unabashedly unashamed of the pure raw feeling in his eyes.

“I want to take care of you,” Jared’s eyes flickered to the rest of the room, “You guys here, you’ve given me a life, you’ve given me…well, me.”

Jensen was quiet. He couldn’t really believe this nothing like this had ever happened. He had starry eyed patrons, but he had never had someone look at him like that and realize that he felt the same way back.

He watched wide-eyed as Minna stepped forward, Jensen knew that this was going to go out of his hands and his control.

“You would do this for us?” she asked, a little hesitantly. She had spent her life at the hands of people that she couldn’t trust, but this boy, Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki’s had to be one of the most curious men she had ever met.

There was no lie whatsoever in him.

Jared didn’t even look away from Jensen, waiting for permission. Everyone seemed to realize that it was all Jensen’s choice. Jared wouldn’t do anything without Jensen’s seal of approval.

Ada looked at Jensen, speaking harshly, “Make a decision Ackles. There is a man bleeding out on the floor.”

Jensen nodded, still shell shocked.

Jared leaned in and kissed him on his forehead, “It’ll be fine I promise.”

Jensen’s heart sunk, because he didn’t know how to deal with this surge of Jared Padalecki. Nothing had ever been anything like Jared Padalecki.

Jensen, Minna, Ada, the girls, and half a dozen prostitutes watched as Jared picked up the almost corpse off the floor. He shuddered under the weight and at the smell of blood, and for a second Jared was mesmerized by the body in his arms.

Minna and Ada came up before him. They didn’t flinch, they had seen worse more times than they would like to admit. But they looked up at him with complete admiration.

“Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki’s we are forever in your debt,” Minna said diplomatically.

Ada smiled, “Jared, thank you.”

Jared nodded, turning to leave.

In a place where the inhabitants were jaded, in a place where hopes were something that they only read about, Jared had become a hero.

**

Nobody went to sleep that night.

The madam’s closed the house and broke out whiskey, which was a rarity, spirits weren’t usually allowed. The girls sat in the parlor in their nightgowns, drinking amber colored liquid, waiting for the news.

Tom and Mike stood in the foyer, watching over Jensen who sat with his head bowed on the front step. The house was silent, waiting for news.

It was nearly noon before a sound was made in the house.

“I’m destroying him,” Jensen whispered to Mike, and the grandfather clock in the hallway clicked away, clicked away minutes that would never matter again.

“He was so perfect before he met me,” Jensen pushed through, on a shaky breath, “And now he’s straddling this great divide between us and it’s going split him in two parts. I can’t do that. I’m starting to like this kid and I’m putting him in dangerous situations. Because of me, because of the influence of this house he is putting his life on the line.”

And there was nothing but rustling. Tom and Mike came and sat down on either side of him. Just listening for the moment.

Mike looked at him seriously, “You like this kid don’t you?”

His words were cautious. He didn’t say what he actually believed Jensen thought of this kid. He didn’t dare utter the words that nobody wanted to hear in this house. Romance was about as true as Santa Claus and they had all had that fantasy beat out of their head when they were far too young.

Jensen looked up with Mike and Tom, his eyes almost feverish. His eyes told all of the stories, all of those emotions he would never say. He was wild. They were used to calm cool and collected Jensen. This Jensen before them now, who was human, had never appeared before.

“Mike,” Jensen said in a strangled voice, “He deserves better. He deserves better than me and this house.”

Mike didn’t say it, he didn’t say what he thought, that Jensen was walking the same tightrope; Jensen was being put through the same ringer. Jensen wouldn’t hear it now anyway.

Mike and Tom had been around the block more times than anyone of their age should have to. They knew reality on a first name basis.

That was the place where they lived. They would do what they always had.

What needed to be done.

They just needed to know what Jensen wanted done.

“Choose,” Tom said lightly, “We’ll make it happen either way.”

**

Marshall Fields Jr. was pronounced dead at ten thirty-seven am.

The cause was given as paralysis of the bowels.

He was said to have shot himself when a gun hit the ground in his house. It was implied to be accidental.

The official report from corner Peter M. Hoffman was “Because of his position, his wealth, and his prominence many superfluous rumors have been circulated as to how this shooting occurred. I say superfluous because, although they came from many sources, I have been unable to find any foundation for them. Since the day of the shooting I have spent days and night hunting down the rumors and have found that there was no cause for their circulation.”

The rumors named the Eveleigh club as the root of the problems. There were whispers through the town that one of the girls had shot Marshall Fields Jr. when he had visited the brothel. But no-one could prove anything. And the Club became one of the most notorious brothels in the modern world.

It put the do gooders into motion, everyone of them lobbied to have the club shut down.

The rumors mentioned nothing of Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki’s. There was nary an implication that he had even seen Marshall Fields Jr. since their days at boarding school.

**

Jensen Ackles stared out the window and watched the world happen. For the first time in all of his years of living in reality, he finally watched it happen.

The world outside his window was bustling and alive.

He put his fingers on the glass.

Almost touching the outside world.

 

**Chapter 11**

CHAPTER 11

“There is a rather insistent young boy at the door,” the maid came up to where Jared sat with Sandy.

His fiancé had shown up insisting on showing Jared all the new pamphlets decrying the Levee, she was bright eyed with excitement, she gushed on and on. Jared listened with half an ear.

The whole conversation made him think only more of Jensen than his over active mind was already obsessing of Jensen.

He was a little jittery, as he hadn’t seen Jensen in two weeks. Jensen had called off their Sunday meetings, he had wanted Jared to lay low after the shooting, Jensen sent word that Jared needed to stay away until things calmed down just to make sure that suspicious tongues started wagging.

Most of Jared understood the logic, but that didn’t keep him from almost breaking Jensen’s wishes on a few different days.

What made it worse was that all his free time meant that he had plenty of time with Sandy and his mother. Jared lived for two weeks in the hell that was his wedding plans. He had never really thought about what would go into the lavish affairs he attended. To be honest now that he knew he really wish that he didn’t know.

Chad had taken pity on him and had been over on Sandy’s off nights to drink him into a stupor under the guise of playing cards.

He missed Jensen so much, he felt a little empty.

So when the maid announced the maid he managed to smile and kiss Sandy’s hand before he left the room.

Jared smiled at Sandy sheepishly, “I should go see what the boy wants,” trying to act coy and innocent. He knew who the boy was and what he wanted.

So Jared nearly sprinted to the back of the house to the kitchen door after he closed the door to the lounge.

There stood the little towhead boy from the Everleigh house; he was bouncing up and down on his feet, grinning like a loon when Jared appeared, “Mr. Padalecki, you have to come, you have to come now. The prince is in the Everleigh house! There is so much going on. You have to come now.”

Jared smiled and shrugged at the boy, “What are you talking about Frank?”

Frank tugged on his sleeve, “Prince Henry. He’s with the girls. You have to come tonight. There is nothing else like it.”

Jared was well aware that Prince Henry of Prussia was in town. He had come to America to accept a yacht in the New York Harbor for his brother Kaiser Wilhelm II, Emperor of Germany and to give a gift on his brother’s behalf of a statue of William the Great to the people of America.

New York had spared no expense and neither had Chicago. Chicago’s German citizens had lined Michigan Avenue with lights, and turned it into a fairy tale. Jared’s dad had, had dinner with him and 165 of the town’s most prestigious residents, followed by a ball at the Germania Club.

Jared’s mother hadn’t stopped talking about it yet and it had been three days ago. She had spent the afternoon nattering away with Sandy about the gossip about whether Chicago was going to offer the old feudal privilege of “kissing” Chicago’s debutants.

Sandy had sat thin lipped and proceeded to launch into a one sided tirade that had lasted the whole afternoon about how wrong that was, about how much it was like the whole white slavery problem in the Leeve. She managed to make a Prince coming just as unsavory as prostitution.

Which strangely enough was not too far from the truth.

Jared had listened quietly and counted the minutes as the clock ticked.

To say he had been bored in the last two weeks was an understatement.

Jared was bored enough that he would have accepted Megan’s offer of sewing lessons at this point.

So a summons from the Everleigh house would be like winning the lottery on a normal night.

And this was like being given his own personal island on top of the lottery.

Jared’s eyes grew wide and his smile took on an air of disbelief. On any other night the Everleigh house would be wild. However with the advent of true blood royalty, there would be excitement that the Leeve had never seen before. The sisters would spare no expense for the opportunity to entertain European Royalty.

Jared bounced on his feet in anticipation, “I’ll be there in a second. Wait for me.”

He fled into the house. He knew he should dress, but he figured that he’d either be in the shadows or someone would dress him. That was just how things went, that was what he was used to. He never really had to worry about it.

He ran to tell a servant to grab his coat.

He was waiting in the hallway when Sandy, who he had completely forgotten about, came looking for him.

She gave him a funny look and he looked startled, he had completely forgotten that she was there. He felt a little guilty about that.

“Sandy I have to go…” Jared began hesitantly, knowing that he didn’t have technical plans with her.

Sandy gave him a wounded look, “Jared I thought that we were going to spend tonight together.”

“I can’t,” Jared said looking though his mind, trying to find a reason.

She looked incredulous and put her hands on his hips, “Why? Chad is off with Clara Dunham tonight, you can’t use him as an excuse. So why the hell does some kid coming to the door mean that you have to leave? What is going on?”

Jared cocked his head and looked at the little girl before him. He wanted to go. He wanted Jensen. It had been two weeks and he hadn’t seen Jensen.

For a moment he felt strong and confident, like he always had when he was in the Everleigh Club. It was odd. He hadn’t seen Jensen in the wake of the shooting. He had stayed away from the Everleigh house, but that little part of him that he had begun to discover in those months with Jensen, had not abated with their separation.

Normally in the presence of his parents and Sandy, Jared had always felt like he wanted to blend into the shadows. He had always felt so small, despite the fact that he towered over most people. He had felt so very insignificant most of his life.

But today was different, even in the absence of Jensen he didn’t feel little. He felt like this grandiose house was too small and his parent’s plans for him were too low of a bar. He suddenly felt like when he had gone through a growth spurt at eleven. Nothing fit anymore, not even his own skin.

He looked at Sandy calmly, “I’m going out.”

He offered no reason, no explanation; he gave her a little shrug. He didn’t know the reason, he was just compelled towards Jensen.

Sandy looked flabbergasted at him she opened her mouth just as the servant arrived with his coat.

Jared gave her a smile, “Have a good night.”

He walked out the door and grabbed Frank.

“Show me to the party, little man,” Jared said he looked back hesitantly, then looked forward at the lamps lighting his road, leading onto the night. He took a step forward and it was easier than standing still.

**

Jared whistled as they walked down the street, ducking through the alleyways as if they were secret passageways. He was 210 pounds of weightlessness. All he could keep thinking was that at the end of this trek there was Jensen. He was going to see Jensen.

They arrived at the back door of the Everleigh house, out of breath and laughing like children, only one of them was a child, but Jared knew how to fake it well. He felt like a little boy.

He threw open the door, expecting Jensen, expecting the girls. He was not expecting Mike.

He was used to Mike wearing the most audacious outfits and wearing the most insane of expressions. But this Mike was dressed in a dark suit that would have looked in place in is parent’s house. Mike stood without his usual drama, almost menacingly.

Jared smiled, “So what does Jensen want me in tonight?”

Mike just stared and Jared’s smile faltered.

Jared forgot this sometimes; he forgot that Mike wasn’t an idiot. Mike had survived on the streets for decades. Mike was as cool and calculating as possible. He knew how to get by. Mike knew what he was doing.

“It’s not like that tonight,” Mike told him, looking into his eyes.

Mike didn’t look away, Jared did.

“I’m a surprise,” Jared stated and asked and hoped, but the plummeting of his stomach let him know that probably wasn’t the case.

Mike continued to stare at him, “No Jared, you’re not here for him.”

Mike’s tone was low and the lack of a flamboyant nature kind of threw Jared.

Jared stood up in his plain clothes and gave it as good as he got. He refused to cower, not for this, not for anyone, not anymore.

“Then why am I here?” Jared asked, attempting not to sound scared about the answer. Jared knew that this couldn’t be good.

“You’re here for you,” Mike said simply, “You’re here because you need to see what life is really like for us.”

Jared turned to leave, “If Jensen doesn’t want me here, then I’m going home.”

He refused to acknowledge that saying something like that crushed his heart into millions of little pieces.

Mike moved swiftly, with more speed than Jared had ever given him credit for, and put a hand flat on the door, blocking Jared from leaving. Jared was bigger and stronger, Mike was no match.

“Boy,” Mike said with a rough voice that menaced, “You’ve been playing at the whore house. You’ve lived the fantasy. Jenny has only showed you the pretty side, the safe side. You’ve seen him flirt, but you’ve never actually seen him do his job.”

Jared looked at him, refusing to back down, “I don’t care. I know what he does.”

“No,” Mike said, “No you don’t.”

The two men stood and looked at each other, steadily.

“He doesn’t want me here,” Jared said low and threatening.

Mike leaned into Jared, “You want to be here.”

Jared leaned in, not backing down, their noses almost touching, “Why? Did you make up this prince thing to lure me in?”

“No Jared,” Mike said calmly, “The prince and his royal entourage is here.”

Jared looked at him incredulously, “I am so sick of everyone telling me what to do, stay out of this. This is between Jensen and me.”

Mike stared into him, “Jensen invited you tonight. This was his idea. He thinks you’re getting in too deep. He thinks that you don’t understand what is really going on. He wants you to see what it is we do on a daily basis. This is all Jensen’s idea.”

Jared stilled.

“Why?” Jared asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Follow me and you’ll find out why,” Mike said and left the room without looking back.

Jared followed before he even realized that he was moving.

**

Jared stood in the – what he was liked to think of as his – balcony.

He stood and watched the scene below him. The air was electric and it was a night that Jared had never been exposed to.

Clothes were something that seemed to be in short order. The girls were wearing obscene outfits if they were wearing anything at all. The even below was spread out with gold and pillows, giving the room an air of relaxed decadence, as if there was nothing else in the entire world to do but indulge in hedonism. It was a bacchanalian event; it was ancient Rome in full effect.

“There is a rule tonight,” Mike said low, next to Jared, “There are no petticoats, no stockings, no corsets, and no shoes. Prince Henry is a man who knows exactly want he wants and every person in the entire house is here to cater to it.”

Mike made a sweeping gesture of the room below.

The girls were wearing togas that were gently unraveling. Dark Prussian men ran around and caught them. In the middle of the room sat the man who could only be the prince. At his feet were two of the denizens of the house.

On the left was Sophia, on the right was Jensen.

Jensen was wearing barely a strip of cloth around his waist. He sat practically on the prince’s lap, feeding him grapes and kissing the juice away from the Prince’s mouth. Jensen looked up at the Prince like a boy looking at a hero. He looked up at the Prince through his long lashes, and had a coy little smile. Jensen looked at the Prince and his hands were all over Jensen’s body, who stretched languidly under the touch.

Jared wanted to throw up.

The prince motioned to some of his men, unfortunately the acoustics were excellent. Jared could hear every word.

“You have to try him,” the prince said to some of his men, “I had him this afternoon. He’s wonderful.”

Jensen smiled deeply, as if this was some great gift that was being bestowed on him. He leaned in for a kiss and the Prince reached down and exposed Jensen’s ass to everyone. He rubbed his chubby hand over Jensen’s ass and then gave it a sharp smack.

Jensen moaned into the prince’s mouth.

“That ass is mine,” the Prince growled, rubbing his hands over Jensen’s ass, “But show some of my boys what that mouth can do.”

Jared felt ill as he watched one of those sausage-like fingers ran over Jensen’s mouth as if the Prince aimed to share Jensen with anyone and everyone who asked for it. Jensen looked up at him and Jared felt his entire body shake at the hungry look in Jensen’s eyes.

“Will you want me later?” Jensen asked, coyishly, almost looking as if a no would be the worst thing that he could ever hear.

His expression was so asking, seductive, and full of a little longing.

“I’m going to fuck your ass little boy,” the Prince said rubbing that ass, slipping in the crack, teasing his hole.

Jensen grinned like a cat with cream.

The Prince slapped his ass again, “Go, I want everyone to be jealous that you’re in my bed tonight.”

Jensen stood up and didn’t bother to straighten what could barely be called his outfit. As Jensen made towards one of the courtiers, showing his ass to the Prince, the latter watched the round globes as Jensen strode away.

Jared just watched, tears in his eyes.

He looked up a little lost at Mike.

“Why does he want to hurt me?” Jared asked, completely unaware that he was crying.

Mike didn’t flinch, “This is what life is like for us. This is who we are.”

Jared watched Jensen disappear in a room followed by no less than six men.

It made Jared hurt, his boy ached and he was going to be sick.

But it didn’t take away the deep-seated desire that made him want to see Jensen. He had to see Jensen, he had to face him eye to eye, and see the look on Jensen’s face.

“Can I talk to him?” Jared asked softly.

Mike was silent for a minute.

“He’s busy now Jared,” Mike said.

“I’ll wait,” Jared said quietly.

A few seconds passed, and Mike nodded, “I’ll send Katie up to keep you company.”

Mike walked out the door and saw Tom standing there, and stepped into the other mans arms.

“I’m not doing this again,” Mike said, breath hot against Tom’s neck, “I’m not going to break the kids heart any more. Let Jensen do his own dirty work.”

Tom held him close, “Jensen will do what he needs to do.”

**

It was hours later when Jensen appeared in the balcony.

Jared got up slowly and looked at him. His mouth was swollen and his cheeks were red. That didn’t really phase Jared, what actually stopped him from speaking was the look in Jensen’s eyes.

Jensen’s eyes were as cold and hard as emeralds.

He had never looked at Jared like that. He looked at Jared without feeling, without any kind of emotion.

Jared felt struck to the ground. He waited.

He waited for Jensen to say something, to change his visage; for someone to bring back the Jensen that Jared had spent all those times with, in the last few months. Jared had gotten to know someone human, someone real, someone who had laugh lines around his eyes.

This Jensen was smooth and beautiful in the way that could only be described as something not of this earth.

And unabashedly cruel.

Finally Jared gathered all of the courage that he could find.

“What are you trying to prove Jensen?” Jared asked.

Jensen didn’t flinch, didn’t move a muscle, “Nothing.”

“Is this about the other night,” Jared asked hopefully, “Is this because you think you put me in danger?”

Jensen pursed his swollen red lips and shook his head nonchalantly, “Not that I’m aware of.”

Jared shivered; Jensen was so cold, so empty.

He nodded as his eyes became glassy with tears that he refused to shed, “So this was all nothing. I’m just another game.”

“It’s all a game Jared,” Jensen said looking at him with eyes of steel, “I’m a different person with everyone. I am whatever they want me to be. That is what I am, this is what I do.”

Jared wanted to cower, to run away, but he gathered his backbone and stood his ground.

“Then who are you?” Jared pleaded, “Is everything you’ve told me, you’ve shown me just been a lie?”

“I am whatever the money tells me to be,” Jensen answered as if all of the pretenses had fallen away and he was put out by Jared’s presence, “I’m not nice Jared.”

“I never paid you,” Jared pointed out, not ready to take Jensen’s answer.

Jensen just shrugged it off, “I want to know what it was like to be normal. For a few seconds I got normal, but that isn’t anymore me than the coy act you saw down there. None of it is who I am really.”

Jensen turned to walk away.

Jared set his jaw, “I know that you’re a liar Jensen Ackles. This is about the other night. I know that you don’t like me putting myself at risk but I know what I’m doing. I don’t need you or Chad to tell me what I want to do.”

Jensen looked at him and calculated, he grabbed Jared by the arm and pointed down into the room.

The girls were laughing and sprawled all over the various men. Sophia was standing on the table in front of the Prince. She took a bottle of Champagne and poured it in her slipper, laughing hysterically she poured it in the Prince’s mouth he drank it all down and then pulled Sophia into his lap and kissed her as if he wanted to find her stomach with his tongue.

The other girls watched him and the nobles clamored for similar treatment. The girls took off their slippers and a new trend was born. Everyone wanted to follow in the Prince’s footsteps.

Jensen pointed at the Prince.

“See that guy,” Jensen said low and purring, “I fucked him earlier. He’s a pro. He knows how to move to make me moan for hours. He held me on the brink of orgasm for what seemed like an eternity. His cock is something like I’ve never seen, I have never felt so full or felt anything so ridiculously hot. When I came I blacked out. He’s going to fuck me again tonight and I can’t wait. He actually knows what to do with his dick.”

Jared stared at him angrily, “You’re just saying this to hurt me.”

Jensen shrugged with using barely a muscle, “If you think so I feel sorry for you kid.”

“You’re going to look back,” Jared said assured, “You’re going to look back and I’m going to see it in your eyes that you don’t mean it.”

Jensen stepped into his space, looking at him with cold calculating eyes.

“No Jared,” Jensen whispered, “I never look back.”

**

Jared started drinking Champagne and watched.

He watched as Jensen curled up to the men downstairs. He watched as Jensen was touched and used. He watched as the Prince beckoned Jensen.

All the while drinking.

He hated this, but he couldn’t leave. He wanted to see the moment when Jensen would look up at him. He just wanted one moment when he could see the Jensen he knew in the eyes of the man below.

But Jensen never looked up, was too enthralled by whatever piece of flesh stood before him.

Jared hated it all; he hated everything about this house that debased Jensen to this object that these men were playing with as if he weren’t a person. Jared thought he knew who Jensen was. And now he had no clue as to who this man was, this man who was looking for nothing but pleasure, and he seemed to revel in it, writhe in it.

Jared was drunk when the clock struck two. He stumbled down the hallway, intent on his purpose.

He fell twice and stumbled through three of the wrong doorways before he found them.

“Anythin,” he slurred, “Let m’ave him.”

He remembered his manners that his mother had drilled into him, “Puuh-lease.”

Ada and Minna regarded him.

“You can go now,” Ada said, as hard as nails, as always.

“Puuh-lease,” Jared said, wondering why this magical word was not working.

Minna came up to soften the blow, “Jared the Prince wants Jensen, there isn’t enough money in all of the world that would let you have Jensen right now.”

“Puuh-leeaseee,” Jared begged.

Ada came up with the hard sell, “Jared you need to leave now.”

Jared stood up on shaky legs.

Ada barley came up to his mid chest, but she met him head on, “Jared if you leave now then I will let you come back, but if you don’t leave right now you will never be allowed in this house again.”

Jared stood up tall and clumsily tried to push papers off the desk in disgust.

“I’m never c’ming b’ck,” Jared announced, “You people are gross and what you’re doing to him is wrong.”

Jared stormed out of the Everleigh house.

He swore it was for the last time.

**

It was almost one in the afternoon before the house even began to stir again after their night that had hardly ended before dawn. Strangely the Chrysalis room was completely quiet; usually it was the first place that would stir.

Sophia entered the room and looked around and slipped into Jensen’s bedroom. She stopped in shock when she saw the state of the chambers.

The room was destroyed. Everything was pulled off the shelves and thrown on the floor. The mirror looked as if it had been smashed with a candlestick.

In the middle of the disheveled bedclothes on the bed was a lump.

She had been worried when she had been asked, nicely, by Mike to go and see Jensen. Now she was seriously concerned.

“Jen you’re always the first one up and dressed,” she said gently going to the lump on the bed, putting one delicate hand on what she hoped was a shoulder. Her hand was shook off.

Slowly the blanket was lowered and Jensen’s face, once so strikingly beautiful, seemed now so puffy and tragically sad.

Jensen looked at her with dull eyes, “Is it time to fuck now?”

She had never heard Jensen so empty, so completely broken. She had never seen him approach the job as if it were a chore.

She shook her head.

“Then wake me when it’s time to fuck,” Jensen said from so very far away, pulling the blanket over his head again.

Sophia rolled her eyes; she had spent years with difficult men, she knew how to deal with them.

She pulled up the edge of the bedclothes and climbed into bed with him. He resisted at first, but eventually he pulled her towards him.

“You look like shit,” she said from underneath the blankets.

“They’re not looking at my face when they fuck me anyway,” Jensen said, detached from the circumstances.

It was so harsh and so very cruel. Even when Jensen was an asshole and a massive jerk he was never this callous.

“He saw you,” Sophia said, never believing that discretion was the greater part of valor. She was brutally honest, emphasis on the brutal, “He never saw your face, he always just saw you.”

Jensen became stiff.

“And I’m supposed to go and be the kept boy again?” Jensen said, a little emotion leaking into his voice.

Sophia didn’t answer, she didn’t have a solution.

Jensen held her closer.

“You can’t just say in this house,” Sophia said huskily, “He brought you the world you have shunned for the last five years.”

Jensen was silent. Sophia was strangely patient.

“You know what happened in St. Louis,” Jensen replied.

Sophia shuddered; she reached up and ran a hand over the scar at the base of his neck.

She knew what the wrong side of his profession was. She knew what the pitfalls could be. She knew how well he could be hated.

“He’s worth a thousand of me, Soph,” Jensen said without self-pity, but emotion finally breaking in, “He deserves not to know how cruel life can be.”

Sophia wanted to tell him he was an idiot, but she knew better.

“What do you deserve Jensen?” she asked into his shoulder.

He ignored her question and she ignored the tears that she felt against her face.

**

Jared couldn’t sleep very well. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Jensen, Jensen strewn out for who ever had the money.

He saw Jensen waiting for whoever could use him next.

Jared was uncharacteristically not hungry. He was sick because every blink brought back the image of Jensen.

He stood in front of the mirror and leaned against the mirror, feeling the cold against his forehead.

He knew what he had to do. He didn’t want to do it.

But it was the only way he could protect Jensen.

It was the only ay to save Jensen.

**

Megan walked into Jared’s bedroom, and found him primping in front of the mirror. It took her a minute to realize what was out of place.

The thing was, that nothing was out of place on her big brother.

He always had hairs sticking everywhere, collar messed up, and typically a food stain somewhere.

However Jared was perfectly pressed and meticulously groomed.

“Where are you going hot stuff,” Megan teased, “Another date with Jensen?”

He turned to look at her for a minute and she saw a raw flash of anger and pain. Jared was typically emotional, but he NEVER got angry and was rarely hurt by anyone, he always seemed to be removed from a situation to be that invested in it.

But for a moment he radiated emotional turmoil.

Then it was gone and in its place was something calculating and calm.

“No, I’m going to see Sandy,” Jared said, all the Texas that he usually sounded like was gone, he was always Texas when it was just the two of them.

Jared reached for his coat, “I was mean last night and I’m going to apologize.”

Megan stood in her brother’s room and watched him retreat. Her heart broke for him a little bit because it was oblivious that there was something wrong. She was a little scared that he was pushing her out. She was the one he came to for all of his problems.

When he didn’t share, that was when she got worried.

**

Sandy came into the parlor at her parent’s house and looked at Jared warily.

He stood gracefully.

“Sandy,” he began, “Last night I said some things that were completely inappropriate. I know I’ve been difficult lately, but maybe it’s because we don’t spend enough time together. I think I can cut down on some of my activities and maybe join some of yours so we can spend more time together.”

Sandy smiled, “Do you want to join me at the Mission, we can stop the White Slavery and shut down the Levee together.”

Jared smiled, “I think we should.”

 

**Chapter 12**

Megan stood by the far wall at yet another of Sandy’s fundraisers. She was bored out of her mind. Her eyes focused on Jared. Her usually goofy, bouncy, slightly sloppy brother was standing perfectly straight, hair slicked back, suit pressed, next to his small perky fiancé.

Jared Padalecki was once again the golden son. He wasn’t the golden son because he was actually good though, he was good because he was acting good. Jared had turned into one of ‘those’ that they had always hated.

“God he’s become such a fake,” Chad said, watching Jared and handing Megan a glass of wine.

Megan sighed, “What happened to him? I miss my brother.”

Chad shrugged, “Nobody will talk about it. Those Everleigh girls are very protective of Jensen. All I know is that one of the girls is gone, Jared hasn’t sent foot in the Levee in almost a month and for that month he’s been working with Rev. Bell to try to get all this to stop.”

“Mom is thrilled,” Megan intoned.

I’m not impressed,” Chad said, “That guy over there–” He pointed at Jared unabashedly, “–is beyond lame.”

Chad sighed and tapped his finger against his glass, watching Jared. In all their years of friendship he hadn’t seen this one coming.

Megan tilted her head and sipped at her wine, “He’s not happy.”

Chad was impervious to normal human things like emotion, but to know that she was right hurt a little. Jared had only let himself be happy for a matter of months and now he was retreating from the happy-go-lucky guy he used to be.

“He’s never been happy,” Megan analyzed, “He’s just suddenly realized it. He figured out what freedom and fun were and now he can’t go back. He’s fucking miserable.”

Chad drained his glass, “He was happy for a few months, he was really happy.”

Megan turned to look at Chad sadly, “I know.”

Chad put his arm around her as if she was his own little sister, “Lets’ cut out of this party.”

“So now I’m going to be the one you corrupt,” Megan said with a smile.

“I need a Padalecki to corrupt,” Chad said conspiratorially.

Megan looked at Jared and ground her teeth together, “I think that I need to be corrupted, this saccharine pristine holier than thou atmosphere has become a little stifling.”

**

Jensen knew how to do one thing in life. He knew how to keep going. He knew how to make money and send it to his sister. That was his goal in life; that had always been what he knew how to do. That was his life goal.

He had never taken for himself. He had never thought or worried for himself.

He had to remember that this was what he was doing it for. He had a mantra to follow.

Work. Money. Mackenzie.

That was all he was allowed to think about.

Which in turn meant everyone gave him wide berth; he wasn’t pleasant these days.

Jensen relaxed in the Paris room. It was a room full of heavy wooden furniture and old world charm. Jared had been completely enthralled, by the silk and the gorgeous lusciousness of the room. Jared had fallen in love with the room. He would drag Jensen into the room whenever he could. It was where he went to relax there days. It was the only place that he could find calm between tricks. If any one in the house who knew him were actually speaking to him, they would mock him for finding solace in Jared’s favorite room.

However nobody wanted to face his wrath these days.

Nobody bothered him there.

He lay on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He wasn’t thinking, he was just waiting for the next moment to happen.

“No,” he heard a voice say from the hallway, “You can’t go in there, he’s busy.”

They avoided him, but they were loyal still. There were vile rivalries between members of the house, but against the outside world they were a solid front. They had to be.

He heard a scuffle on the other side of the door and soft moan and the doorknob creaked. Jensen turned his head and waited for the door to open. He knew it wasn’t a trick, they weren’t allowed to come up to the upper floor without someone guiding them.

The door opened and a skinny tall brunette girl came through, slamming the door shut behind her and locking the door. She tilter her head and looked at him with slanted eyes, a metallic green with gold circles framing them. She was uncommonly tall and had a wide mouth that looked at him in disapproval. She stood there, swaying slightly, her hands on her hips. Jensen recognized her instantly without ever meeting her.

Jensen blinked and he new exactly who this was. There was only one girl in the world who would look so much like Jared, right down to that stubborn posture.

“What are you doing to my brother?” the girl demanded. Her name was Megan, Jensen remembered from the many conversations he had with Jared.

Jensen had been around the block enough times to know that she was drunk, not wasted, just drunk enough to be brutal and brutally honest. He groaned, he didn’t want to face the Padalecki stubbornness, which he was beginning to fear was genetic.

Jensen just lay there looking at her. He wasn’t going to say anything; all the fight had gone out of him when he had walked away from Jared. He was quite ready to wait her out. He just didn’t have it in him.

She stepped closer to the bed until she came close enough to touch him. For a moment she just looked down at him with her head cocked. Jensen managed not to cringe because the open guileness seemed to be genetic also. Then she poked him.

“You’re pretty,” she decided with a cute nod, “But I’m sure my brother didn’t describe you as a lazy lump on the mattress. He said that you were lively and exciting and smart and occasionally vertical.”

Jensen just stared up at her with empty eyes.

“You see Jared is always full of life,” Megan explained pushing him aside and plopping down on the bed, “He was anyway.”

She squinted at him, “You are Jensen, right?”

Jensen just looked up at her, blankly, not really knowing what to say to this little hurricane. She reminded him so much of her brother that he couldn’t say anything; it just hurt too much at his moment. He tried to find the numbness again.

She cocked her head, “You’re pretty, but I don’t know if you are the most beautiful creature on the face of the planet.”

Jensen blinked because THAT certianally came out of nowhere.

He suddenly felt that itch of comfort that he always had around Jared, just that blunt, completely forward way of speaking. There was nothing in her that could be thought of as a lie. She thought it and it would come out of her mouth.

It was so very real, like nothing else was.

He raised an eyebrow, momentarily distracted from his self-induced misery.

She smiled that old familiar smile, and tilted her head, “You do have freckles, but I have no idea why my brother was waxing poetic about them.”

And that was completely unexpected so Jensen couldn’t stop himself from letting out a bark of laughter.

“Oh,” Megan said watching him momentarily light up, “I see it now.”

Jensen felt as if there were too many things going through him. It was this little girl coming up to him and making him feel something, making him remember that there was something outside of these walls, that Jared was out there. That life was real.

“So I know,” Jensen said in a gravely voice that hadn’t been used in too long.

Megan threw her arms out, “He speaks.”

Jensen felt tears mix with a giggle in the back of his throat.

Megan got up in his face and looked into his eyes.

“Why are you being an ass to my brother?” She asked, leaning into him, breath reeking of whiskey.

Jensen looked at her skeptically, “You don’t mind him sleeping with a guy?”

He felt like giving her back the open honesty that she didn’t even understand that she was offering.

Megan looked at him through one-squinted eyes, “You’re too pretty to be a guy.”

And Jensen rolled his eyes and retreated behind the mask again. He had heard that one too many times.

Megan bit her lip, and tried to figure out what she had done wrong.

“He could be sleeping with an octopus for all I care,” she continued with a carefully placed ease. She was testing the waters.

Jensen snorted in spite of himself, “Have you seen an octopus little girl?”

She just sat there and tried to let her alcohol-addled mind try to figure him out. She knew her brother and she wanted to see what he could see in this guy. Jared would never fall for a face, and while his smile was amazing and his freckles were pretty, but Jared was friends with Chad, he never really saw the surface of things.

Megan wanted to know what was below that.

For a second he looked up at her and for just a flash it was raw emotion.

“What happened Jensen?’ Megan asked, “Jared won’t tell me and you’re obviously a little shaken up over this. So why stop it, what happened?”

“Jared has a fiancé,” Jensen pointed out.

“So?” Megan asked in the thoroughly modern woman way of the turn of the 20th century, “Everyone has mistresses.”

Jensen looked at her incredulously.

She shrugged, “Hey you have sex for money. Stop being such a prude.”

Jensen looked as if he swallowed a lemon. He had been called many things in his life; a prude was never on that list.

He opened his mouth and nothing came out.

“Well I can’t share.”

When Jensen opened his mouth so often lately, things came out before he barely even realized what he had said.

It took him almost a full minute to realize he said it and a few more ticks of the clock to realize the striking pain as he realize that it might actually be one the most open and honest statements he had ever made.

Megan’s jaw dropped.

“I know what you must think of me,” Jensen went on after it was silent for too long. “I know what I am and I know what I do and I know it isn’t fair.”

Jensen looked up at her with soft green eyes, he looked up at the ceiling collecting himself, “I just don’t know what is happening.”

Megan just stared at him her eyes wide.

She finally saw what Jared must see.

“Megan Claire Padalecki,” a voice yelled, and a body bolted into the room Chad stood there for a moment and looked at Megan, “What the hell do you think that you’re doing, running off to the Levee?”

Megan put her hands on her hips, but Chad had already moved on, “Oh my god, you ran to HIM!”

Under any other circumstances Jensen would have smirked at Chad’s squeak. As it was he couldn’t muster anything but to prepare himself for the hit that was bound to come. Jensen was well aware of Chad’s friendship with Jared. Jensen figured he had something coming.

But Megan stepped in between them, “No Chad.”

Her voice was low and commanding.

He looked at her incredulously, “You do know who this is right?”

Megan nodded, “I’m well aware.”

Chad simmered.

Megan looked at Jensen, her eyes brimming over with something Jensen couldn’t name, “You’re killing him Jensen. He’s turned into something totally not Jared. Be outside on Sunday.”

With that she left, pulling Chad with her.

**

Sunday came around and Jensen was sore and in pain. Last night he had pushed and pushed and he had wanted nothing more to be punished. It was as if part of the time he was so numb that nothing could break in and he had just wanted to see how much he could endure before it hurt too much.

Then everything would break in and he would completely and totally feel everything as if it were a burn on sensitive skin and a fire combined, wrecking its way through him. That would lead him to shutting off and the cycle would begin again.

For four weeks he had spent Sunday in bed. Today he got up for one reason. He got up because Megan had said so, Megan had told him too. He was so starved for anything to do with Jared that he blindly got into this.

He pulled on a t-shirt and a button down and threw on pants he believed to be clean. He ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t know when it had stopped being important to look nice. He remembered the long hours of ‘training’ he had and the beatings when he would fail.

But he couldn’t be bothered at this moment. He couldn’t find a reason why he would need to look good, to be presentable. Before it always had been for the job.

Now it was just too much of a bother. There really wasn’t a reason.

Jensen came down stairs and ignored the obvious stares. He could hear voices outside, singing and chanting.

He looked at Minna and Ada who were at the window looking outside.

“What is going on?” he asked.

Ada pressed her lips together in a thin line. Minna gathered herself together and laced her fingers together and began to speak breezily and diplomatically, “Those damn missionaries have gathered together half of Chicago to walk through the Levee singing songs and protesting the whole selling of sex thing.”

Sophia peered out the widow, “It looks like a bunch of repressed women who haven’t given it up to their husbands for years and hate us because we can offer them some kind of comfort.”

Lauren stood next to her and rolled her eyes, “We offer them a good time at a high price. That is hardly something that those prissy broads can offer.”

“You fuck their husbands for money,” Mike said with a sigh, “Stop trying to make all of this noble.”

Jensen just stared at the closed door, listened to the noise. He had been out in the world, he had walked down the streets for a few moments at a time, going for books at the store or running to the bank. In those cases he was only a quiet man passing other men on the street.

He opened the door and went out into the sunlight. He stood in front of the Everleigh house and was nothing more than what he was, a denizen of the house. The girls came out behind him and they stood on the porch and watched the crowd pass.

Jensen watched and waiting, afraid that he would see what he thought he would see. Dread marred is heard. He wanted to believe, he wanted to think that Megan didn’t mean…

And there he was; a head taller than everyone else in the crowd. Jensen just stared unabashedly. He made no pretense of looking at anything or anyone else besides Jared.

Jensen stood on the front porch in his vest, sleeves rolled up, looking more casual than he had in years. For the first time in longer than that he felt comfortable. He didn’t have to yell, he stood there on the steps of his home, of his brothel.

He wasn’t anyone’s fantasy, he stood simply as he was. For the first time he could remember that was enough.

He had broken completely in the days since last seeing Jared and he couldn’t remember why he needed games anymore. He stood in the sunlight, hair streaked with gold, freckles apparent on his pale skin, light making his green eyes vibrant. He was completely unafraid of the crowd around him that wished nothing more than to crucify him.

And none of that mattered.

All he saw was Jared.

The object of his attention marched in the throng of people. It took a matter of seconds before he became aware of the weight of Jensen’s stare. Jared looked up and stumbled when he saw Jensen’s eyes on him. They weren’t cold or empty; they were more alive and brilliant than they had ever been backlit by the glow of the sun.

Jensen kept his eyes focused.

Jared tried to look forward.

He failed, but he couldn’t meet Jensen’s eyes for a long period of time. Jensen just watched his slow progression towards the house. He though idly of tearing apart the little girl, two feet below the top of Jared’s head, her hand intertwined with Jared’s.

Finally Jared looked up.

Jensen could see the wildness, the desperation and the pain in Jared’s eyes. Jensen knew the feeling well. It was what he wore on his sleeve these days.

Moreover, the agony made it perfectly clear why Jared was among the protesters. He was doing this for one simple reason, and Jensen knew what it was. It was the same reason he had made Jared watch him mindlessly go about his job.

They were defaulting to the only thing they knew in order to assure that the other was okay.

Jensen blinked. This was unexpected, this reciprocation of feeling.

Jared didn’t look away again.

Jensen couldn’t breathe. Jared fucking Padalecki of the Texas Padalecki’s was more than he had ever bargained for.

He almost missed the yell from the crowd he was so caught up in Jared.

“Faggot!”

Jensen looked to the voice and stood tall. This was nothing new. He looked at Jared, expecting him to fall back into the crowd.

Jared stiffened initially, but his eyes turned into slits. His face was all the more determined. Completely with ease Jared guided Sandy through the crowd. Then with his patented lack of grace he elbowed the man who had dared to address Jensen in such a manner. He hit him with his bony elbow, knocking the words and breath out of the bigoted man.

He then looked up at Jensen and suddenly the moment was gone. Once again they were strangers on the opposite side of a cause.

Jensen gripped the edge of the porch so hard it was only due to excellent craftsmanship that it didn’t crack.

Jared passed the house, hand loosening on Sandy’s, eyes darting back to Jensen.

Jensen refused to do anything but stare, he was jumbled and torn and completely and totally sure of one thing.

He wouldn’t give it back. He had never asked for anything, but the few moments that he had with Jared were his. He hurt, but he couldn’t find it within himself to forget what Jared felt like. He couldn’t muster the desire to purge Jared from his system. He was selfish, but he just couldn’t do it.

Their feelings were alive and they burned him. It was the first thing in years that he had ever felt and the first thing that he had ever taken for himself.

The fact that the look on Jared’s face was so protective made him feel safer than he ever had in his life. He had always lived in uncertainty. His life had always depended on others and the only thing that he had to ensure his continued comfort and the safety of his sister was his body. He had lived for so long fearful of it all falling apart.

As he stood on the porch he felt the world that had sheltered him while at the same time being unbearably cruel slowly fall away. He had been so terrified of the world because he had seen the worst of it.

Then he had met Jared.

And he wasn’t scared anymore.

When he saw Jared look back, for just a second before disappearing, he let out a breath he didn’t even know that he had been holding in.

He was the master of control, but he had found himself reacting without his careful control. First it had been with Jared, but slowly it had creeped into his everyday conversations before he thought. Ever since the first four minutes he had spent with Jared he had found himself being, instead of acting.

But there was also part of him that refused to be rational. There was a part of him that hated Jared for making him feel, because numbness hid pain. He hated Jared for standing on the other side of the line, for standing with those who were against Jensen.

Part of him was irrationally angry because Jared affected him enough to be so cruel to someone he actually liked, he hated himself for that.

He was just so angry that he let it permeate through his every pore.

He hadn’t felt anger in a long time, he didn’t allow himself to waste time on such emotions, but now he did. It was heady. Now he allowed himself to revel in it.

He let go of the railing and turned to go inside.

This part of the show was over.

He stepped back into the cool darkness of the familiar house. It took a second for his eyes to adjust for the glaring sun. When they did, he found Sophia stood before him. He blinked because he didn’t initially trust his eyes.

Sophia was dressed for all intents and purposes as if she were a common streetwalker. Her hair was pulled up haphazardly. Her skirt was dangerously short, showing off her garters and the only thing that kept her red embroidered corset from being garish was the fact that Jensen knew it was from Paris and cost a fortune.

Her face was done up with heavy black kohl and her cheeks were almost comically painted with rouge, and her lips were ridiculously painted with the most red lipstick that had ever existed.

She stood with her hands on her hips.

“Ready?” she asked him.

Jensen raised an incredulous eyebrow, “For what?”

Sophia clicked her tongue, “Jared was so much better at this game.”

He bit back words; nobody spoke of Jared in his presence.

Sophia smiled coyly, “We’ve been told that they’re having a rally. So we’re getting together all the girls from the houses in the Levee, we’re going to go and crash.”

Behind her the girls of the house came into the room, all of them dressed in clothes that were distastefully provocative.

As, of course, was Mike.

“You’re coming,” Sophia said simply.

“Do Minna and Ada know about this?” Jensen asked looking a little appalled at the state of the house.

Sophia dimpled, “Who do you think helped us dress? Those two have an eye for skank.”

It was then that the final person came into the room. She was a girl, but not one of the Everleigh girls.

Megan Padalecki stood in the doorway.

Sophia looked back at her and grinned, “Here is our little spy.”

Jensen shook his head, “Hell no.”

Megan stepped forward to stand unsurely before Jensen.

“Dress up, Jensen,” she said softly, “It’s the only way to get close to him. Go find him, please talk to him.”

Jensen stood resolute and fiery with anger.

Megan moved slowly across the room. She was hesitant, but determined as she stepped forwards into Jensen’s space.

“He misses you,” she whispered in his ear, “Talk to him, yell at him, fuck him in the alleyway, just come with us. Don’t leave it like this.”

Jensen looked back at Sophia, Mike, the girls.

He wanted to throttle Jared or tell him all of these feelings that were bubbling up inside him.

He looked at Sophia determined.

He was going to do one or the other.

*

Jensen looked into the mirror.

He saw Megan behind him grinning.

Mike whistled, “You make one tall, but pretty woman.”

Jensen turned and glared at him, “Keep talking and I’ll find Tom.”

Mike grinned, “I’ve already found him and let me tell you, he made me know who claims me. He let me know against the hallway door, in the pantry, the front parlor, in the coat room, and in the solarium.”

Megan looked interested. Jensen shook his head.

“I’m just saying,” Mike added, “Tom liked the outfit.”

“Just stop talking now,” Jensen begged, before looking back to the mirror and frowning.

“And help me fix my corset,” he added after a moment’s thought.

*

The second march down the streets of the Leeve was the complete polar opposite of the first one. This one wasn’t conservatively dressed women and pansy-ish men, singing hymns and chanting bible verses.

This one was full of barely dressed women, screaming obscenities and reveling in bawdy comments. It was nothing short of an advertisement of what all those people believed the Leeve was.

Even the Everleigh girls were feeling their roots; most had started out in backwater whorehouses or urchins on street corners. They typically were dignified and refined, but dress them up as one-dollar whores and they could act just as their peers.

Jensen was caught up in it. It had been so very long since he stood outside and just let go. He was so angry and so emotional; screaming at passerby’s and propositioning random lurkers was something of a release.

He was unrecognizable, and finding an outlet for the charged feelings in his veins.

Megan had departed the house before the crew had left and kissed his cheek, “Just find Jared. I’ll distract Sandy.”

Jensen had watched the little minx leave.

He hadn’t actually thought about what he would do when he found Jared. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He didn’t have that much forethought at this moment. All he could think about was simply moving out of the safety zone and into the crowd that was threatening his home; to where he would face the one person who meant something to him.

It was a bit of a daunting task so he ignored it for the moment.

He ignored it while he walked down the street. He ignored it while he rubbed up against a protester. He ignored it while he whispered the most obscene things in the ears of what looked to be proper ladies.

He was actually having a good time, all the while ignoring the fact that this was a death march of sorts.

So his heart slamming into his chest when he saw Jared wasn’t a surprise.

Megan Padalecki stood by her brother’s side when she caught sight of the gangly group of Levee girls. Some of them were wearing their usual work clothes and some were over the top, as the Everleigh girls were.

There were a few who were men underneath, but it was hard to tell, as they were dressed as the women were.

Jensen just stood there. Sophia and Mike noticed and made a slight gesture to Megan. Megan nodded and took Sandy aside and listened attentively to what she was saying, asking questions, she didn’t even notice Sophia passing Jared a note.

Jared looked down at the note and scanned the crowd. Jensen knew that he was looking for a carefully dressed man, not some six-foot woman with the most ridiculous outfit on.

Katie pushed Jensen toward the alleyway.

“Go,” she said to Jensen, barely heard above the fighting factions.

Jensen pushed his way to the alley among the crowd, which had become very violent.

He reached the alley two seconds before Jared, who was approaching apprehensively. Jensen didn’t need the caution. He reached out and grabbed Jared’s forearm, pulling him into the alleyway.

Jensen didn’t know what to do, so he pushed Jared against the wall and took his lips; he cupped Jared’s head in his hands and nipped against his lips, fingers laced through the soft ends of his hair, thumbs running over his jaw line. He took what he wanted and Jared squirmed underneath the brutal kiss.

He pulled back and ghosted his lips over Jared’s jaw. He nuzzled his nose around the shell of Jared’s ear, “This war out there, they’re fighting over my livelihood, this is my life you were out there walking against, a life that you never minded.”

Jared pulled back in surprise, his head banging against the brick wall.

“Jensen?” Jared whispered.

“You’re a fucking hypocrite,” Jensen growled.

Jared looked back at him in surprise.

Jensen just carried on, “You were all fine with your whoring, but hey now you’re all set on completely protesting against a life that you were part of. That seems pretty much like you’re a hypocritical asshole to me.”

Jensen’s eyes blazed beneath the kohl and anger.

Jared glared at him.

“What about you with your life of Balzac and whoring,” Jared yelled back, “That hardly seems to go merrily together.”

Jensen got up in his face, “This is who I am, and I’ve never been anything different to you. I fuck men for money; I have since before I’ve known you. I am nothing different than the man you’ve always known. Pick a fucking side Padalecki.”

Jared stood up tall and then he deflated.

“I just wanted you to be out of there. I just wanted you to be safe,” Jared said softly leaning into his ear.

Jensen pulled back, he knew this, but hearing the actual words made it too real.

“That house is the one place that I feel safe,” Jensen said quietly.

“When is the last time that you left the house?” Jared asked but carried on without giving Jensen a chance to reply, “You’re not living. You’re just hanging around.

Jensen just looked up at him.

Jared looked back.

Jensen waited for anything.

What he didn’t expect was for Jared to take out his handkerchief and slowly begin to remove Jensen’s make up.

“Will you just be Jensen?” Jared asked, “Not anyone you think I want you to be, just Jensen? If you want to talk just be Jensen.”

Jensen let him smear away the make up.

“I don’t know who I am with you,” Jensen said as Jared smeared Jensen’s lipstick across his cheek, “All I know is that it isn’t someone who I planned to be. I just don’t know…”

Jared just smiled sadly and continued to remove Jensen’s makeup.

Jensen was still raging and confused. He didn’t know how to deal with these feelings,

“I was thirteen when I joined my mother’s house,” Jensen said pulling Jared to him, he whispered into his ear so that he wouldn’t have to look Jared in the eye and so that Jared wouldn’t miss a word.

“The madam looked out for me well enough, but I was under contract. I had to do everything she asked. Money for my sister and continual care would cost me five years.”

Jared choked at the implications, but he stayed silent afraid that if he said anything Jensen would stop talking.

“That first year I just stopped thinking about what I was doing. I completely divorced myself from my body. Then this guy came into the house. He had heard about my ‘raw talent.’ He took one look at my face and after one slap on my ass he bought my contract and moved me from Texas to Colorado. It was an up and coming town made rich by first gold and then by the railroad.”

Jared leaned into him, resting his hands on Jensen’s hips, rubbing small circles into the soft flesh next to the bone, soothing.

“He taught me everything about how to read people, how to be what they wanted. I was fourteen and I knew how to suck dick like a pro, be fuckable like no other and be whatever anyone wanted me to be. I learned to play the game and I was good at it. I had to be a Chameleon because those guys were drunks, and they could be pretty brutal. There was nothing better to those guys than to play smack the faggot whore, typically after they fucked me.”

Jared’s arms wrapped around him and Jensen and he buried his head in his shoulder. The anger had gone out of him. More than anything he wanted to protect Jensen, even from his memories.

“By the time I was eighteen I had learned to do it better than anyone. I had even learned to enjoy it. I got to fuck whenever I wanted to; I totally got off on it. When my contract was up I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted and that life was free, I had all the money and all the fun I could ever want.”

Jared just held him; Jensen’s hand’s snaked into Jared’s jacket pulling their bodies flush so that there was nothing between them except their thin layers of clothing.

“I moved around,” Jensen said huskily, “Omaha, San Francisco, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Kansas City. I was looking for some place safe. I was run out on rails, I was beaten and I was let go. Nothing was safe. I thought about giving up, I moved to Nashville with a friend, Chris, he was the one person who I trusted, he and his partner Steve played music and I thought that maybe I could do this, give up the life and just be normal.”

Jensen stilled.

“What happened,” Jared asked, part of him didn’t want to know.

“They beat Chris to death,” Jensen said, reliving memories that he had tried to forget about.

Jared wanted to just pluck that memory from Jensen. He had never felt more helpless.

“I ran away,” Jensen admitted, barely audible, “That is what happens when normal guys try to be together. I ran into a guy who said he would take me in, and for a few years I was a kept boy. I lived at his whim. I was his dirty secret and he began to hate me for it. He had a wife and a few kids but he would always come to me. He gave me a house and after he would knock me around he would give me more presents than any mistress had ever gotten. I was his dirty secret and there would be nights that he would hate me for it. It grew. He wouldn’t stop seeing me, but he hated both of us for not being able to stop.”

Jared heard the words that Jensen didn’t say.

Jensen pushed Jared away a tiny bit so that he could look him in the eyes.

“I never even cared about him,” Jensen added “And I thought I was safe, I thought that this is what I could expect from life.”

Jared couldn’t stand the look in Jensen’s eyes. He leaned in and softly touched Jensen’s full lips. He softly kissed the full bottom lip, running his tongue over the fullness he found there.

Jensen let out a little moan and pulled Jared to him, his hands slipping under his shirt to feel the soft skin there. Jensen could feel goose bumps rise on Jared’s skin and Jared shuddered under his touch. So, Jensen opened his mouth to allow Jared access to whatever he wanted.

He felt Jared’s tongue tentatively touching his lips, asking for permission to enter, permission to explore. Jensen took his hands from the skin at Jared’s back and wrapped them around Jensen’s neck.

For not long enough Jensen and Jared were completely and totally intertwined. Jensen had never wanted anything of this magnitude before.

So it was nothing short of a miracle that Jensen managed to pull himself away from Jared’s warmth.

Jensen pulled away and they both suddenly were so very very cold.

“I can’t do that again,” Jensen said, “Especially not with you. I can’t be your kept boy who you’ll hate. I can’t try normal, because the world will hate us. I love you too much to hurt you, to destroy you.”

Jensen looked at him with those green eyes full of too much depth.

“Say it again,” Jared whispered.

Jensen took a deep breath, “I love you too much to have you hate me.”

Jared wanted to say that this could work out, but he couldn’t see it. His future was set, there was the house that he and Sandy were supposed to have and the job in his father’s office that he was supposed to have, and the life he was supposed to have. He realized that there was no place for Jensen in that life. Hell there was barely room for Jared in that life.

“Please Jared,” Jensen asked standing before him his arms out by his side, “Don’t ruin my home. If I meant anything to you, just please let me be.”

Jared’s eyes grew glassy and he set his jaw. His lips pressed together and his brow wrinkled, but he nodded in assention.

Jensen smiled and turned to leave.

“Jen,” Jared said hesitantly.

Jensen stopped and didn’t turn around.

“I,” Jared began, “I do too.”

Jensen’s shoulder’s stiffened.

He looked back and gave Jared a weak smile. They held gazes for a moment. It was still there, that intangible connection still there shining like a silver thread between them.

**

Jared walked out of the alleyway dazed. He was in the street for barely a second when Megan pulled him back into the alleyway.

She looked at him, her hazel eyes conflicted.

“You know you can’t lie to me baby sister,” Jared said trying light, and coming out annoyed, “Not any more than I can lie to you.

She took a deep breath, “Jared, they’ve targeted the Everleigh House. There is word that tomorrow night they’re going to close down the Club for good. They’ve got this long list of things that they’ve done. There is even this freak girl Dolly who says that the Everleigh sisters imprisoned her.”

Jared just looked at her, stunned. He had just gotten done promising Jensen that this would end.

Megan put a hand on his arm.

“That isn’t the worst thing Jared,” she said in a small voice, “They targeted the Everleigh Club because Sandy asked them too.”

Jared went through so many emotions that he went numb.

He was very certain of two things at that moment.

1) Jensen was going to loose his home and it was somewhat Jared’s fault.  
2) Sandy knew.

Jared pushed away Megan and backed into the crowd.

“I need to walk,” Jared rasped.

With that he walked into the streets of the waning daylight of Chicago.

 

**Chapter 13**

Jared walked until it began to get dark. He walked and tried to feel anything other than frantically numb. Part of him wanted to yell at Sandy, part of him wanted to find Jensen, part of him wanted to go do damage control with his parents, and part of him wanted to find Chad, sink into a bottle and forget.

So he did none of those because there were too many parts of him vying for interest.

He simply walked to the one place he could go where there would be blessed silence.

The third floor of a tenement building that he had won in a poker game was his haven.

Megan and Chad were the only people who knew what was on the third floor, knew that behind the lock that was bright and new among the falling apart building, was Jared’s sanctuary.

He opened the door and was met by the scent of oil paint.

Across the room hung paintings, most half finished. The hallway was dark and drab, but this room was vibrant. When the canvas failed him, he painted on the walls. He looked around at the space that was his.

It was the only place that he didn’t feel like life was too small to contain him.

He touched the canvas that he had last been working on. He had caught Jensen perfectly, in the way that Jared always thought about him. A night five weeks ago he had been too thriving off of his orgasm to think or to move. Instead he had watched Jensen sleep.

The fire had lit Jensen, bringing his pale skin alive with a warm glow, making his freckles stand out like flecks of vibrancy. His hair had shone like moonlight and Jared had been enthralled.

Jared ran his fingers over the slightly pursed lips that he remembered the taste of and closed his eyes.

He touched the canvas as if it would be warm and soft.

It was cold underneath his touch.

He had to recoil from it.

Every part of him was torn.

He opened his eyes and looked at the one wall he had never touched with a brush. On it hung the works he had actually completed. He stared at the wall and tilted his head.

He stood there for a moment, just feeling everything.

Feeling love, hate, regret, disappointment, elation and pain.

He felt all of the good and the bad of the last few months.

Then he moved. He practically tore the paintings from the wall, throwing them to random corners of the room, at that moment he just wanted the wall.

His fingers ached to have the whitewashed bricks open to the images that danced under his eyes. He needed to get the images out before his head exploded.

When the paintings were gone he simply stood there and he gazed at the clean white wall.

Then he grabbed his paint and his brushes.

Some people made lists.

Jared drew what his future would look like.

He touched the brush to the yellow and suddenly he didn’t see anything but the tiny shapes.

Those shapes began to gather and under his brush a whole new world began to form.

*

Jensen sat in the park. He felt the sunlight warm his skin. He sat back and closed his eyes and let the sun shine down on him.

“Look at you,” a husky voice said behind him, “You’re all outside and in public.”

Jensen opened his eyes and found Sophia standing in front of him.

“You’re blocking my sunlight,” Jensen said, trying to sound grumpy and instead sounded extremely sad.

Sophia sat down next to him and Jensen put his arm around her. She leaned back.

“I have been coming here every weekend since I moved here,” Sophia said, curling into him, “I like watching the couples. Most of them are wearing each other like accessories, but it is nice to watch, it’s nice to see that part of life we never get. You know, taking someone out into the sunlight and showing off who you’re with. Sometimes I wish I had that.”

Sophia smiled and looked at some of the couples, “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. Not to have the suitors on Sunday or guys being nice because they’ve paid to fuck me, just to stroll along in the sunlight.”

Jensen looked at the park alive with people.

“The police are going to come tonight,” Sophia said softly, “The injunction should come in at midnight. They’re closing the house.”

Jensen nodded, “So what are you going to do now Soph? You going to start a new life and let a man court you? Have a man take you out in the sunlight with the hopes that you might deem him worthy to kiss?”

Sophia socked him in the arm and Jensen Ackles most recently of the Everleigh House nearly giggled despite the circumstances.

Sophia smiled at this new personality, which she whole heartedly approved of, “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like I want to do this anymore, I have money, I might just travel, see the world, see what is outside of the house.”

Jensen stood up and took her hand, pulling her with him. He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm.

“Come on,” Jensen said softly, “Lets practice this whole sunlight thing.”

Sophia looked up at him as if he were a hero, “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this softer side of Jensen Ackles.”

Jensen blushed and looked at his feet.

They walked in silence, in the sun, Sophia smiling.

“What about you Mr. Ackles,” Sophia said finally, “What will you do when the house is gone.”

Jensen thought of a million things he wanted to do. The only problem was that he didn’t know how to get there and do them.

“I don’t know,” Jensen admitted.

Sophia pulled him closer, “You want to go straight and stroll in parks with me?”

Jensen snorted in spite of himself.

Sophia let out a faux sigh, “Fine, why don’t you just bash Jared over the head and take him away so you two can be together.”

Jensen opened his mouth to impart the sarcasm and cynicism that always flowed easily.

But nothing came out.

They walked a little further, watching the happy couples and the children play.

“When would I ever be able to take him out in sunlight?” Jensen asked, sounding a little lost.

They just walked on, neither had any of the answers.

*

Jared looked up at the wall.

On one side was his life with Sandy. He saw it in his minds eye, it had always been there. He was able to draw it so very clearly. He had drawn their house, their kids, his life working with the business, his family, and finally his grave in Texas.

He knew what happened. He knew how life would look with Sandy. He had known her since they were kids. His life always seemed so linear and he had always seemed so ready to accept the life that was prepared for him.

He had never even thought about whether it would make him happy, he had just gone off with this whole concept that was his life was supposed to be one way.

The other side of the wall he had wanted to draw what his life would be like with Jensen. The wall was streaked with paint and more whitewash and smears. It was a mess. He hadn’t been able to figure out what it would look like with Jensen.

Instead among the swirls of mistakes was one figure.

On the wall was a tall figure that Jared had thought would be Jensen. Instead it was a little taller, slightly rumpled, hands in the pockets. His hair was wildly out of control and the face looked down, but there was a huge smile on his face.

Jared looked at the life-size drawing of himself .

Jared looked a the life size drawing of himself looking so very happy and relaxed for what seemed liked hours.

He just stared at himself, the Jared he wanted to be.

For what seemed like hours he just took it in.

For a second he looked over at the other life, the one with kids and Sandy. He breathed deeply and took a moment.

Then he picked up a bucket of the white wash and threw it against the wall. He watched one life disappear and another begin.

*

Jensen and Sophia came home and everyone was gathered in the parlor.

When they came in, Minna and Ada stood.

They smiled, “We were waiting for you.”

Sophia smiled, tears in her eyes, “You’re going to say its over aren’t you.”

Minna nodded.

Ada held up her hand and pulled Jensen to her, and then she turned to address the room. She looked at the girls. Three hundred of them had come and gone in six years. She looked at the room. This was the last of them. This was the last group in the house.

“I’m afraid that there never will be one like the EC,” Ada said, being strangely sentimental, “You have a little money due you, enough to last a month or two. I suggest that you clear out from the Levee entirely. It has nothing substantial to offer…find a job, a husband, anything but don’t depend upon this life for a career. It’s washed up, as we used to say in the theater. It’s done for, good and done for…tonight is the last night. Tonight is your night. You can choose what you do tonight. Tonight is the last night of the rest of your life. Make it count.”

She looked at Jensen.

“Make it count,” she said softly just to him.

*

The sun had set and Jared had been up for thirty hours. He hasn’t slept or bathed. He was covered in paint and he stood in the parlor of the McCoy house, completely out of place.

Sandy appeared in her pristinely clean and ironed dress. She couldn’t hide her initial reaction at his disheveled look, scrunching her nose at his appearance.

Jared stood and stared at her, his carefully composed speech completely evaporating from his head.

“Why the Everleigh house?” Jared asked bluntly, “Why did they target it?”

That was all he wanted to know, the rest of his thoughts and worries were just filler.

Sandy looked up at him confused and then she got it, her eyes shining with an innocence that thought it knew the world, “Because I asked them too.”

Jared looked at her in horror – he hadn’t really, completely believed it until that moment.

Sandy’s eyes grew wide at his reaction. She went to him and clung at Jared’s arm, holding on for dear life, for the life that she felt slipping through her fingers.

“I followed you,” she admitted quietly, “I followed you and saw you go into that house. You, of all people went into that house and I can only imagine…”

She trailed off at his bewildered expression, because there is nothing on this earth that could possibly make this remotely something that she could understand. He thought of Jensen. That was something that she would never understand. He could barely understand it. It was just something as simple as every fiber of his being.

“Why?” he managed to get out.

“Don’t you see Jared,” she begged, “If the house wasn’t there we could pretend it didn’t exist and we could go back, we could go back to the life that we had before.”

Jared looked at her, startled at her nievety. It hit him in the gut, the idea that a few months ago he would have understood what Sandy had done. Now he was so far from the person that he used to be, that he had no idea how to put the cork back into the bottle. He was cracked and laying on the floor.

And the silence of her revelations was blistering.

“I can’t Sandy,” he said hoarsely realizing he didn’t even regret it. He wasn’t angry, he was just sure that he had never ever wanted this. The part of him that belonged to Jensen would never belong to her.

Her face fell.

Jared looked at her sadly.

“I’m sorry Sandy,” Jared said sadly, really meaning it, “I can’t marry you.”

Jared looked at her and she just stood there.

“I really am sorry,” Jared said, looking down at the floor, “I didn’t want it to be like this.”

He trailed off and the look in her eyes was so full of betrayal.

“I think I should leave now,” he said in barely a whisper.

She gathered herself, “Yes you should.”

*

Jensen looked in the mirror.

“We can’t find him,” Mike said.

Jensen nodded and he went back to his room to finish putting his things in his lockers.

This was definitely the end of an era.

Mike had sent Frank out, looking for Jared, but Jensen hadn’t held much hope. He figured that he had pushed Jared away. It was a little bittersweet. For the first time in his life he did something right.

It hurt like a bitch, but he felt some pride that he had done something right. He had loved somebody. Ada’s words came back ‘You only loose your heart once.’

Jensen felt like smiling and crying at the same time.

He was okay with that, he was okay with leaving one thing in Chicago, one thing he would leave with Jared and he didn’t regret it.

Jared was the one thing that he didn’t regret.

Tom came and leaned against the doorway.

“You know he’s coming tonight,” Tom said, looking at Jensen’s very causal outfit.

Jensen shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”

Tom cocked his head.

“If he comes I’ll just look like this, “ Jensen said, “If he doesn’t I will still look like this. There isn’t a reason to dress any other way.”

Tom smiled, “Welcome to the real world Jensen. He’ll be here. I work in mysterious ways.”

**

Jared didn’t pause at his father’s office door.

This was hardly the worst thing that had happened today.

He had known ever since the moment he looked at the six foot three drawing of himself happy, he would have to leave this life he was mired in.

He walked into the office and stood his ground until his father decided to take notice of him.

“I don’t want to work for you anymore,” Jared said deadly serious, when his father didn’t recognize his presence.

His father paused and looked up at him, pen in mid stroke.

“You what?” his father thundered.

“I’m not going to work for you,” Jared said clearly, “I want to be a painter.”

His father gave him a condescending smile, “I thought you got over that little phase?”

Jared tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. Then he slowly went over to the desk and leaned over his father, “It’s not a phase. I would rather be doing that, than work on numbers and social events for the rest of my life.”

His father reacted as if shot.

“What has gotten into you boy?” his father asked.

“Honesty,” Jared said simply, “I want to paint.”

“Jared,” his father warned.

Jared stood strong, “I am doing this.”

His father looked down at his golden son, the one that he had molded, “If you walk out that door you’re no longer my son.”

Jared looked at him calmly, “Even on this side of the doorway I’m not your son. If that is all it takes to disown me then I don’t want to be part of the Texas Padalecki’s.”

Jared walked out the door and tried not to collapse on the other side. Then when he didn’t, he took a deep breath and walked down the hallway.

Chad stepped out of the shadows at the end of the corridor, lit only by moonlight and nearly gave Jared a heart attack.

“Tonight is the last night for the Everleigh Club. Tonight they close,” Chad said looking at Jared, and for the first time he couldn’t read Jared’s impassive face.

There was a moment of silence and Jared lifted his head and looked at Chad. Both men met each other’s gaze steadily with out any emotion.

“I’m leaving in the morning,” Jared said in a low voice.

Chad nodded, “I’ve already packed.”

Jared knew this, he knew Chad would know and Chad would be by his side as always.

“I’m coming too,” a small voice said at the other end of the hall.

His little sister came up to him, small and delicate, but just as determined, “Don’t make me stay here without you.”

Jared wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

“Plus you’re going to need me,” she said against his chest.

Jared blinked back tears.

*

Jared stood in front of the Everleigh Club; all the lights were blazing and the music was playing.

Jared looked at the front door just as nervous as the first time he’d stood here.

He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this would be the last time he entered the house.

He hoped that he was still welcomed by all parties.

 

**Chapter 14**

 

Jared stood still and breathed in. He didn’t know what lay on the other side of the door, but he was pretty sure that he probably wasn’t the most popular person in the house right now.

He took a deep breath trying to calm himself; he had been running on adrenaline for so long and now this moment had arrived, he was just suddenly so tired. The deep-seated fear that he hadn’t felt while standing in front of Sandy or his father permeated ever part of him.

He had seen that the look on Sandy’s face as he confirmed that he would never marry her had been broken; the look on his father’s face when Jared announced his resignation from everything Padalecki had been cold and harsh.

Jared reached for the gleaming gold door handle and he hesitated for the first time today.

He was scared of the look he would find on Jensen’s face.

Jared drew in another breath, sucked in all the air that his lungs could handle and then held it there for a second.

He just didn’t want Jensen’s face to reflect disappointment.

It was then that Jared almost had to laugh. Of all things that had happened today, the one thing that was making him hesitate, the one thing that was weighing on his heart wasn’t his father who he had followed to the point of blindness all of those years or the woman that he had spent most of his life with, the one he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with.

The one thing that actually made its way to his mind was Jensen. From the outside world Jensen was nothing more than a whore, but from Jared’s eyes Jensen was the only person who had never asked anything of him, except that he simply be himself.

And that was the most important thing.

Jared opened the door.

Tonight was little different from the first time that he had entered the house; the lamps were warmly lit, the music was playing softly, and the house was clean and crisp. It was like any other night, Minna and Ada would ask nothing less than hospitality at their house. They demanded it.

There was only one difference tonight.

There was no laughter; there was no din of chatter coming from the front parlor. There was a little delicious smell of food wafting through the Club. The house was still continuing on the pretense of what it was, but everyone was waiting for the final edict to come down. They were all waiting for the final blow to the Everleigh club.

When he rose his head Minna was there, standing in her entry way, posed and well dressed as always. She wore her favorite butterfly broach, light glinting off her diamonds and giving depth to her silk robes.

Minna as always kissed his cheek, “Hello my boy, how are you today?”

It was all the same, all so very similar to any other greeting on any other night.

He stood tall because he was waiting for the blow, for every inch a lady that she looked now; deep down she had fought for every carat that adorned her ears. She wasn’t below giving a hearty punch. Jared had seen it more than one time.

“Hello Ms. Everleigh,” he said with all of the manners he had been taught. The last time he had seen Minna he had been a drunken sot. He found it hard to receive her welcoming smile.

“Why the formality?” she said coming and taking his arm, “Come now Jared.”

Jared shuffled and stopped before the parlor door, unable to enter the room without first appeasing the gatekeeper.

Jared looked directly at her, “I’m sorry.”

Minna smiled sweetly, she had always liked him. He was direct and honest and part of her that lay beneath the cynicism wanted a sweet end to the story that had unfolded under her roof. Her sister entered the room, and it was Ada who came up and fixed him with her no nonsense stare, “Whatever for?”

Jared looked at the two of them, “You’re closing tonight it’s my fault.”

Ada looked across at Jared and Minna looked up at him, both worse identical expressions of confusion.

“My fiancée is the one who asked that your house be targeted,” Jared said, stating the facts that he was sure that they were aware of, they were never short on gossip, “I walked against the house. I’ve raised money against the house. I’ve helped to bring you down.”

Jared felt deflated.

They looked at him for a moment, empty and blank. Then Ada snorted and Minna began to laugh.

“Dear sweet innocent boy,” Ada said with the closest thing to a smile Jared had ever seen on her face, “This is the nature of our business; this life isn’t the kind of thing that can be maintained indefinitely.”

Minna tugged on his arms and pulled him near to whispered in his ear, “We’re legends. We will never grow old. Our girls in the house will be free to move on; they’ll have no reason to stay here any more. We’ve gotten what we’ve wanted out of this house, but none of us will leave without reason. You’ve saved us Jared Padalecki of the Texas Padlecki’s.”

Her breath was warm against his ear.

Jared shuddered at his title.

“It’s only Jared now,” Jared said in a hushed tone, “I’m not of the Texas Padalecki’s anymore.”

Ada still wore the mask, but Minna looked mildly surprised.

He looked up at them, his hazel eyes completely devoid of pride, simply shining, asking for honesty and understanding.

They exchanged a look that was a little bewildered, but also full of a little hope.

“Well then,” Minna said, “Maybe you’ve saved you too.”

“You’ve definitely grown up,” Ada commented.

Jared looked into the sliver of the room he could see with his angle. He looked into the parlor and bit his lip.

There was a question on his face, as apparent as daylight.

He looked towards Minna and Ada, a question ready on is lips.

Ada held up her hand to Minna, “Sometimes you have to walk on your own. Nobody can take you where you are supposed to go.”

Jared looked at her, a bit baffled.

He didn’t completely understand what she was talking about. Soon enough he would.

For now he could understand enough that this was his doorway to walk through on his own, nobody was going to do it for him.

**

Jared expected to enter the room and have the music stop and have everyone look at him, judging him.

He walked into the familiar parlor, full of the most familiar faces, people that he considered friends.

Sophia was the first who flew out of the lap of one of her favorite of Chicago son’s and ran across the room to Jared. She wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tip toes.

“You came,” Sophia said reverently, hugging him close, “Thank you.”

Jared pulled back, “Why?”

Sophia gave him a blinding smile, “Because I’m leaving, the madam’s got me an apprenticeship with a clothing designer in Paris!”

“That is great, Soph,” Jared said genuinely.

She squealed, “Isn’t it just!”

Katie and Lauren came up behind Sophia.

They kissed Jared on the cheek and turned to Sophia.

Lauren took Sophia by the arm, “C’mon Soph, it’s the last night; lets do this like it’s the last time.”

Katie put her hands on her hips, “Soph, quit taking his attention, he didn’t come for us.”

Sophia smiled coyly, “I’m glad that you came Jared. I’m glad that you were a part of this. It’s only been a few months, but I’m glad to know you.”

Jared felt his nose itch and a tightness behind his eyes. This made him feel as if it were all ending, then the reality set in that this was the end.

He felt nothing but the complete and total urge to find Jensen. Jared didn’t know what he would find when he was standing before Jensen, but he knew he had to be there, had to see.

The girls left and Jared didn’t notice; he was scanning the room for Jensen. Jared’s eyes passed over him the first time. When his eyes found the man wearing brown and blue, a casual outfit in the midst of vibrancy and black, he was a bit startled.

Jensen was a man who held the room, who held everyone’s attention. He was poised and always impeccable.

Until now.

Mike and Tom sat on either side, wearing their finest black suits to commemorate the occasion. Both watched him with hawk like eyes.

The man between them had his head bowed in simplicity. He stood out, but only for the reason that he was so out of place in this crowd.

Jared walked towards him, only seeing Jensen in his tunnel vision.

Jared stood before him, but Jensen didn’t look up, not even when Mike and Tom left his side abruptly.

So Jared went down on his knees before Jensen and finally Jared had those amazing multifaceted green eyes on him, on only him.

Jared didn’t see any hate or any hesitation.

They sat, eyes locked, words just weren’t going to cut it at that moment.

Jensen moved forward first and cupped Jared’s face in his hands. When their lips touched it was electric. It was barely a brush of Jensen’s over bitten lips and Jared’s slightly chapped ones together in the middle of a room full of people but all they noticed was the electricity that flowed through them like they were open circuits.

Jensen’s hands curled to the back of Jared’s skull, demanding more than he ever had from Jared, pulling him closer.

Needing him.

Jared let himself fall into Jensen, needing Jensen just as much.

Jensen pulled back far too quickly for Jared’s liking, but long enough to them to have made a spectacle.

“Lets go to your room,” Jensen said against Jared’s lips.

Jared nodded. In a way that seemed to defy reality they made their way to the Paris room, never were they not touching, one always had his lips on the other’s skin.

They burst through the Paris room and Jared took a step back to look at Jensen. The first time he had seen him, Jensen had been a god. Now Jensen was just a man, complicated and confused and human.

Jared had never found him more beautiful.

Jensen looked at him and smiled slightly because this Jared was who he always knew was underneath the little boy.

Jared’s mouth opened and his chin wavered a little.

He saw the eyes before him soften in encouragement.

He couldn’t do this without touch. His hands went to the buttons on Jensen’s shirt, the soft worn blue cloth fell away and Jared was offered skin, pale freckled skin that shown in the dying firelight.

Jared licked at the smattering of freckles at Jensen’s collarbone, biting on the knob there.

Jensen’s hands went to Jared’s hips, pulling him close, their bodies hard, nestled against each other. They didn’t rush, they didn’t hurry, they knew that they would have enough time. The world wasn’t such an unfair place that they wouldn’t have the time to have this.

“I love you,” Jared said awkwardly as he licked up Jensen’s neck.

Jensen closed his eyes and arched his neck, giving access.

Jared’s mouth rose and his hands skimmed the muscles of Jensen’s back; those muscles flexing under the brush of a touch.

“I love you,” Jared said with complete certainty as he nipped at Jensen’s ears.

Jensen wouldn’t open his eyes because he knew they were far too liquid.

There was a lump in his throat that prevented any kind of sound from escaping.

Jared pressed their lips together again, preventing Jensen from needing to give any kind of response. Jared simply kissed his mouth, licking into taste as their tongues rubbed together, igniting the spark through both of them.

It was enough that Jensen was tearing away clumsily at Jared’s clothes, consumed by the need to feel Jared’s skin against him. He needed to make an imprint of Jared that he could always feel beneath his skin.

For such a master of removing clothing Jensen was clumsy with need. Jared tried to help out and they ended up half out of the clothes, half in, sprawled messily on the huge bed.

They were too busy kissing to notice much more beyond the sensation of lips and the absolute need to make it more.

To make it everything.

Jensen had one arm still stuck in the sleeve of his shirt which was trapped underneath his body, and Jared was pushing him into the mattress, trying to take up his space. So the errant shirt had little chance of escaping and neither did Jensen. Jared was attempting to push down his pants using just his feet, and the ensuing thrusting was making their bodies rub together in obsceness. They both were panting and trying to touch as much as possible. But for Jensen he was limited to one and a half hands over a very large square footage of Jared Padalecki.

They were moaning and arching and attempting to find purchase on each other, their hard cocks sliding against the soft skin of hips and the ridge of hipbones. It was all about getting more, tasting as much of the other’s mouth as possible.

The moans in the room were absolute decadent and heady. They were getting off, getting high off just the noises and the rumbles coming from the other’s throats.

With an effort that was almost in human Jared pulled off of Jensen, and in a matter of seconds they wordlessly shucked off their clothing and then found themselves engulfed into each other again.

“Need you,” Jared rasped sucking on Jensen’s nipples. Then his tongue lapped out and circled the nub and Jared leaned in, biting down with his white straight teeth.

Jensen moaned low in his throat, squirming under Jared.

Jared pulled back and looked him in the eyes, “Will you? I need you.”

Jensen attempted to open his eyes and focus, but he was so warm and still wanting Jared so very much that his body hurt and ached. He wanted to come with Jared’s dick in his ass, he wanted to feel Jared, but he was unable to say no at this point. Jared just looked so sweet and innocent and, god, Jensen was hoping that the emotion in Jared’s eyes was really something akin to love because he just wanted for once in his life to have this mean something.

Jensen nodded and Jared gave him such a sweet smile that Jensen was more than sure that he was undone.

“Really?” Jared asked in awe, as if Jensen was giving him the greatest gift.

To Jared's mind it was the greatest gift

Jensen pushed him a little bit to his back and managed to unschlack himself from Jared’s body. They were covered with sweat and they hadn’t even gotten to the more yet. He sat back on his haunches and looked at Jared who was wantonly sprawled on his back, legs flung open, body on display, offering himself to Jensen.

Jensen’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at what he was being given. Nothing more than everything.

Jared looked at him hungry and needing.

“Jen,” Jared almost whined in frustration for something he only knew so little about.

The innocence on his face made Jensen ever more clumsy because it was more than endearing, it burrowed itself into his heart.

Somehow Jensen found the oils and dribbled it onto Jared’s flushed skin, who writhed at the feeling, his words turning intelligible, begging and wanton. Jensen sprawled out next to Jared as his hand slid down Jared’s hip, trailing oil over his cock, massaging it into his balls and then slipping lower.

“Let me take care of you,” Jensen said, “Jare, let me make you feel like you’ve never felt before.”

Jared whimpered and opened his legs further in answer.

Jensen slid lower and Jared shuddered in anticipation.

Jensen’s fingers rimmed the tight muscle nestled between the cheeks of his ass, watching Jared's eye’s open. The hazel depths were pleading and Jensen slid his finger slowly in, giving Jared time to adjust. He had only had Jensen inside him one time and besides a few fingers when Jensen was frisky Jared was almost virginal.

Jensen talked him through it, slowly whispering words that would make steel melt, easing his fingers in.

“Jesus,” Jensen whispered, “You’re so hot and tight. I want to feel you; I want to be in you so badly.”

Which was odd for Jensen, he wasn’t used to ‘wanting’ this much or this badly. He typically didn’t like to be the one fucking, he loved to have a dick pumping away in him, and it didn’t do much for him when he was the one fucking someone else. It was just his preference.

But his fingers were buried in Jared and he had such a visceral need to be inside Jared that his head hurt with the pure want that he could see in Jared’s eyes. Jared was so tight around his fingers.

“I want to fuck you,” Jensen whispered hoarsely, low and husky.

Jared nearly swallowed his tounge and Jensen could feel his muscles clamp around his fingers.

“Can I be inside of you?” Jensen asked and Jared’s hands fisted the sheets in answer.

“You,” he croaked, “Please you.”

Jensen didn’t hesitate. He prepared himself, positioning himself above Jared, admiring again the long tanned body that was his for the taking.

And Jensen nearly came right there.

He held it together for long enough to calm his throbbing body.

He leaned down and buried his head in Jared’s neck and Jared held him close. There was a familiarity about it, a longing, a clinging.

Jared felt Jensen blanketed over him, his cock posed at his entrance, and flung his long arms everywhere trying to push Jensen into him.

“Now?” Jared asked and begged and hoped that something about this made some sort of sense.

Jensen laughed huskily at the desperate noise, Jared was just that delicious.

Jared wanted Jensen so much that he felt like he was dying and more alive than he had ever been.

Jensen pushed against him and Jared tried to relax. There was a burn, more than he remembered last time because he was remarkably sober now. Jensen wasn’t a small man by anyone’s stretch of the imagination, even if Jared was a giant. So he closed his eyes, threw his head back and tried not to flinch. He just wanted this so very much.

Jared moaned as Jensen’s cock seemed to tear him apart, but it felt so very good. The burn went straight to his cock and he knew that he was aching and leaking. When Jensen was all the way inside of Jared, he shuddered and held himself there, as much for Jared as for himself.

Both of them wanted to start pumping and get lost in the feeling of being so intimate, both of them also wanted to never move and feel like this forever, together and joined and full.

It was a strange new sensation for both of them, it also was comfortable.

“Home,” Jensen whispered.

And Jared bucked, unable to keep from moving; unable not to get himself off on Jensen’s dick because the whispered words were more powerful than admitting to feelings.

Jensen whimpered, loving the sensation.

It was cataclysmic as they slid against each other, both feeling the other one reacting to the sensations as well as reacting themselves. They were in this together; they were in this for each other.

When Jensen reached his gigantic hand and wrapped it around Jared’s dick, the younger man let out a shout of pleasure, of need.

Jensen was almost crying at the feeling of holding Jared quite literally in the palm of his hand.

“Be with me,” Jared begged.

“Wherever,” Jensen agreed.

Jared tugged him and Jensen thrust in steady and true.

“Jensen, Jensen, Jensen,” Jared said over and over, unable even think another word.

And it was enough to push Jensen over the edge, made him need to ram away, to push Jared into the most powerful orgasm in life. Jared came in hot spurts that never seemed to want to end.

Feeling Jared clench and shudder his way thought the brink brought Jensen to an orgasm that he never wanted to end, that was so painful and full of pleasure he thought that he was going to die, that was enough to make him loose any kind of ability to control his limbs.

He fell across Jared in a pile of limbs and skin, muscles relaxed to the point of incapacity.

Jared just held him there.

Jensen relaxed against his heart.

They just lay there, not using words because the words were hard to say. Words would lead to sentences which would lead to discussions and they both didn’t know how to go.

Jensen was ready to say goodbye, was listening to his heart breaking, so he sat for a moment longer listening to Jared’s heart, because that was more important at the moment. He just wanted to listen to the strong pounding if it was the last time he would hear it.

It made him smile in spite of everything.

He steadied himself, ready to do this, to let Jared go. Jensen knew deep down that he couldn’t do this. He wasn’t prepared to be a boy toy again. He was far too old for this. He had to grow up, he didn’t know what that would look like, but he knew that he had to.

“I chose a side.”

Jared said it, his chest falling in more of a regular pattern.

Jensen looked at him, his heart breaking, “You know that you didn’t have to do this. This is the last night we have at the Everleigh Club. This is the last time, you don’t have to choose, life is set for you.”

Jared shook his head, just as lost. He realized that Jensen didn’t know that he knew the current situation of the club. He knew that this was the last night and he had decided anyway that he was going to change for no other reason than he wanted to, “No I had to choose a side. I know that tonight is the last night. I’m late in making the right decision, but I made it, I told Sandy.”

“You can go back,” Jensen insisted, “Just take it back you can go back to your old life.”

“No.”

It was completely final, “I don’t want my old life, I can’t go back. I don’t have a fiancée any more, I don’t have a family, I don’t have my inheritance. The only thing I have is my sister and Chad and quite possibly some untapped talent that I want to explore.”

“Jared,” Jensen said sadly.

“It’s okay,” Jared said with a confidence neither one of them felt, “I just can’t go back to that. I can’t go back to that life. It’s like that myth where they opened the box and there is no way to get all the spirits back inside it.”

“Pandora,” Jensen said, realizing that he had been the one to open Jared’s Pandora’s box. His heart sunk because he felt that he had ruined something so beautiful and pure. Then Jared smiled and he couldn’t feel that taint anymore. Jared’s smile was everything that he wasn’t used to.

“I don’t want that life anymore,” Jared confided, “I wasn’t happy being someone else. I just want to be me.”

Jensen just looked at him with sad eyes.

“I love you and I don’t want to deny that.”

Jensen looked into his eyes and the fear faded away.

Instead it was replaced by mind numbing confusion.

Jensen traced a line across Jared’s jaw with his index finger, “You’re far better than anything I have to offer.”

“Tough,” Jared said, a little hopeful, “You’re stuck with me.”

They just lay there looking at each other. They were way too inexperienced to figure out how this could even remotely work. They were barely aware of how they themselves worked, never mind the complications of their lives.

Neither one of them had a solution or a way to make this work.

“When did this all become so complicated,” Jared asked, trying to sort out when his simple affair had turned into a whirlwind then to a hurricane that had destroyed the façade that had been his life.

Jensen said rubbing the back of his neck, “Nothing simple can ever be maintained.”

“We aren’t simple,” Jared pointed out, “Maybe…”

Jensen was a little hopeful and then he shook his head, practicality breaking into his dream world. He didn’t even know that he was capable of dreaming.

“I won’t be a kept boy,” Jensen said softly, “Especially for you.”

“Good, I have nothing to keep you with,” Jared said sheepishly, “The money is gone, I don’t even know how I’m going to live.”

Jensen’s eyes grew watery, “Then how…”

And Jared remembered Ada’s words when he entered the house. There were times in life that you had to be carried, but there were many more times that you had to crawl into on your own. Jared knew that he was still half formed, that he still needed to test out his unsteady colt legs and make sure that he was able to run at a full gallop.

He knew that much about himself as well as he did Jensen. He couldn’t carry Jensen into the next phase of his life.

Jensen would have to walk there.

That is when the gentle knock came at the door.

“Jense,” Sophia’s husky voice said, “They’re here. They’ve brought a warrant; all the clients have to clear out. There are like twenty cops. They’re being good, but Jared has to leave now.”

Jensen and Jared looked at each other, faces panicked, desperation mirrored in both of their eyes.

Jared took a deep breath because if he didn’t try to hold on at just this moment Jensen would slip through his fingers again.

Jensen reached out and laced his hand in Jared’s.

“Give me a way, a reason,” Jensen stated so low, “Just give me something.”

“You have to find your way,” Jared said his heart breaking, “You just have to do it on your own. You have to do it without my help and you have to find your own way.”

Jared was quiet for a moment.

“When you do,” Jared continued, “I’ll be waiting for you in Paris.”

“It won’t be right away,” Jensen told him, hoping.

Jared shrugged, “I’ll still be there, I’ll be there until you come find me.”

“Boys,” it was Ada now, “You’re going to be arrested if you don’t come out here right now.”

With a release of their hands that was almost painful, they pulled away from each other and slowly dressed. They both watched each other as much as possible.

When they left the room, Jared held onto Jensen as they walked through the house. The girls all stood weeping, afraid of where they were going, so very sad to loose the one place that they thought of as home.

All the girls came up one by one and kissed Jared as he held onto Jensen.

The policemen stood at the doorway, looking very apologetic.

“I’m sorry ma’am,” the cop said to the Madams for the hundredth time.

Minna wasn’t even listening; she was watching Jared and Jensen.

Jensen walked to the door. He kissed Jared long and hard until the cop coughed to interrupt them.

The two men continued on until Ada came up to them.

“Boys,” she said with more softness than she knew that she possessed.

Jared and Jensen broke apart.

“Paris,” Jared whispered and walked backwards out the door, never loosing sight of Jensen as he walked down the road.

Jensen stood on the porch and watched him.

Minna and Ada linked arms.

This was their house, their legacy for generations, the most noble, the most outrageous, the most decadent brothel the state had ever known. They had created a place that was classy and beautiful and they had offered something that had been declared ‘immoral’, but they had done it with dignity and grace; they had never compromised their own morals or standards.

They looked at Jensen, standing on the porch, watching Jared disappear.

They looked at each other.

Part of their legacy was what this house stood for.

They hoped that the other part of their legacy was much less of a public thing.

They just simply hoped that what had started in this house between those two was continued in an impossible way that didn’t seem to be able to exist in the real world.

They hoped that this would defy the odds.

Because in the end they didn’t want to be jaded women.

They really wanted to believe that something like this could exist.

 

**EPILOUGE**

 

1937 – Outside of Richardson, Texas.

 

Mackenzie sat on her back porch, rocking slowly with her grandchild in her arms.

It was hot and dusty and the dry brown land seemed to stretch on forever. The dust blew in all directions spewing particles but offered no relief from the intense summer heat.

She saw the vehicle approaching long before it was in any danger of reaching her. She watched silently, rocking, waiting. She knew that it would take almost a half an hour for the car to pull up in front of the porch. She was in no rush. For a time she just watched it, skin sweating in the shade.

She could see that it was covered in dust, but it was new enough. She didn’t see many cars on a daily basis, let alone new ones, which was why she didn’t expect it. It made her purse her lip in disapproval.

As the car neared, she could make out figures with her eagle eyes. The driver of the car was a grey haired man and the passenger was a woman with a proper hat. Mackenzie had seen enough drawings and read enough about such things that she would eat the hat if it weren’t the height of fashion.

She rolled her eyes heavenward; while she knew of fancier things in life, she was practical to the very bone. These travelers were hardly equipped with anything that could be considered remotely appropriate in this weather. You could tell when people were not from these parts when they didn’t take to dressing lightly in the Texas heat.

She let out a snort.

“Set the parlor for lemonade,” she yelled into the house and her daughter came to the door. Jenny looked out at the approaching car, making not of the make of the car and the dress of the occupants.

“Oh dear,” she muttered taking her baby and going into the house.

Mackenzie was calm, as was Jenny. Nothing much could shake either one of them; they had simply lived through too much, especially in the last year. Mackenzie had buried two children, a son and a daughter, and then Jenny had buried her husband, before finally Mackenzie had put to rest her own husband. Times were tough all over and both women went on, simply making the best of what they could, of what they still had.

Mackenzie had two things in this world that were still hers. One was her youngest and her secret favorite; the other was this house, bought and paid for her by a brother that she barely remembered from decades ago.

She was a proud woman, and these two things are what gave her comfort in this chaotic world. It gave her comfort at the imminent arrival of THIS car.

She figured that this was a party to come and seize her house and land, it was pretty common these days, everyone seemed to be loosing everything. She stood up tall because she was nothing if not a composed woman. She always secretly prided herself that. Everything in his house was hers; she hadn’t relied on a husband for this house or for the education she had. That was all hers; in a way it was her family legacy. The shady brothers that she knew loved her had given her a world that they could never be a part of. They had given her this, but they wouldn’t darken her doorstep with their sins of the past. They had given her this life in the sun.

They had paid for her freedom with their sins and she loved them all the more for it.

She owned land, but rents were slow in coming. Mackenzie wasn’t going to push her tenants off their land because they couldn’t pay she had determined early on. This place was something she had been given and she would keep giving. There would be no going back from that. She wasn’t that kind of person.

She would take care of her own, that was what had gotten her through her own life, having someone unselfishly take care of her well-being. So she would give nothing less.

Mackenzie stood on the front porch before her land and stood tall, waiting for the car to make its way, dust billowing behind it.

The car came to a stop at the end of the drive. Mackenzie noted the fine style of the woman’s clothing and the sharp cut of the gentleman’s. There was just something off about them, besides the dark clothing.

The woman, for all the drabness of the color of their clothing, was holding her hat to her head, laughing. Her wide mouth was lit up showing white teeth. Mackenzie could see her eyes, earthy hazel, slanted upwards, alight.

The man said something to her, undistinguishable under the sound of the car. The cut of his clothing was impeccable, his hair glinted gold and silver. He was tall, but hardly imposing. He carried himself casually as if this were no great thing.

Mackenzie was momentarily taken aback. They seemed almost jovial, which was not the usual temperament for those who were repossessing property.

The man motioned with his head to the woman and she turned to see Mackenzie on the porch. The woman was uncommonly tall. Mackenzie stood her ground, not caring that she probably hardly reached this woman’s shoulder.

The woman stepped forward hesitantly staring at Mackenzie. The woman walked forward as if in a dream, her expression changing, as if she were approaching something holy.

Mackenzie was a little put off, but she kept her composure. That was partially due to the fact that she knew that Jenny had a gun trained at these people from in the house.

“Mackenzie Ackles,” the woman asked in barely a whisper.

Mackenzie cocked her head.

“I was once,” she said slowly, trying to process this, “I haven’t been Mackenzie Ackles for awhile.”

The woman broke into a gigantic smile, “But you are?”

Mackenzie nodded.

The man felt a little left out so he spoke up without any kind of formality, “We’re here about your brother.”

Mackenzie put her hands on her hips and stood tall, “Joshua has been dead for years, I have nothing to say to you about him.”

The two new comers looked at each other.

“We’re not here about Joshua,” the man said slowly, not breaking eye contact with Mackenzie; they seemed to be talking only with their eyes.

“We’re here about Jensen,” the woman said turning back to Mackenzie.

Mackenzie grasped the edge of her porch; her breathing was the only thing that changed in any way. She didn’t say anything; she just looked out to the horizon, blinking rapidly. Nobody had mentioned Jensen in her presence in years, not even Joshua had when he had snuck around for visits.

The woman took a step forward, “We’re doing this all wrong. I’m Megan Padalecki and this is Chad Michael Murray. If we could take a few moments of your time I was wondering if we could talk to you about Jensen, we know your brother.”

Mackenzie didn’t look at them for a moment, she couldn’t. She could only focus on the horizon as she tried to steadied herself.

Finally she looked at them, less defensive than before.

“Come in,” she said with a voice full hospitality, her body language noticeably softer. It seemed that using Jensen’s name was using a magic word.

**

It took a few moments for their eyes to adjust to the relative darkness of the room.

Megan was already moving to the sofa when Chad grabbed her arm. She looked at him startled, he nodded to the wall. Megan looked up and saw a large painting hanging there. She looked at him and smiled a little bit.

There in all its glory was a larger than life painting of Jensen. He was smiling that smile that he never seemed to realize he was showing. It was glowing and his eyes were looking down, they seemed to be luminescent. It was the kind of look that typically only happened when he had been drinking or when something happened that would make him hysterical and he would catch himself by surprise by just giving that unabashed look of contentment.

Megan knew that when the painting had been done he was nearing forty, but there was Jensen with that smile that made him look all of twelve years old.

Even sitting in the serious study with rows of books behind him and papers over the desk did nothing to lessen the fact that Jensen completely and totally had the innocence of a little kid.

Despite everything Jensen looked young and content.

Mackenzie came up behind them.

“You know him well,” she stated looking up at the picture, not bothering to make it a question. She hesitated a moment and then did as she always did, she simply spoke her mind, “He sent me things, there never was a name attached, but over the years I have received cloth, pictures, and books that were postmarked from Paris. There really was only one person who would send me such things. He sent me that.”

Megan smiled at a memory that Mackenzie didn’t share, “Yes that would be like Jensen.”

Part of Mackenzie hated this woman for knowing what Jensen was like, but a greater part of her wanted to know what this other woman knew, any scrap of information about Jensen was well worth it to her. It had just been so long and the unknown was not something Mackenzie enjoyed.

“Was he always like that?” she bluntly asked, “The last time I saw him he was twenty some and he looked so sad. ”

Chad and Megan just looked at her questioningly.

Mackenzie gathered all the courage that she could, “Was he really that happy, carefree? Or did some painter made him look like that? Paintings can lie, but in that one he looks relaxed and happy.”

Megan smiled a little, “Well you know he never smiled enough, but when he did he looked like that. There were things that would make him grin for days. He didn’t need anyone to embellish him.”

Mackenzie relaxed a little.

Chad rolled his eyes, “Jesus that boy didn’t need anything to make him look better. He really did fine on his own.”

“It’s by Tristan Ever,” Mackenzie said hesitantly, she didn’t want to seem like the stupid country hick who didn’t know who an artist from Paris was. The painting had come with a certificate of authentication and Mackenzie had done her research. Whatever her brother had become he certainly surrounded himself with talented people.

Megan giggled, “Yeah, TRISTAN could barely do him justice.”

Mackenzie recoiled because there was familiarity in that voice. It made her angry and a little jealous.

Chad rolled his eyes, “Yeah, TRISTAN was a huge fan.”

Mackenzie narrowed her eyes and her shoulders stiffening. The man’s tone seemed almost derogatory. She was far to protective of her brother to stand such things.

Megan didn’t notice for she suddenly noticed a row of books on the shelf under the picture. She motioned Chad to look.

Chad just looked heavenward; he didn’t even have to look at the books in order to know what they were.

“Let me guess, more presents from Paris” Chad said, “Those would be Leigh Ross books.”

Mackenzie nodded, feeling a little put out by these strange people who obviously knew more than they were telling.

Chad looked at her, tilted his head and gave his most seductive smile. Megan smacked him and walked towards Mackenzie.

Megan looked as if she wanted to take Mackenzie’s hand, to offer something, but the look on Mackenzie’s face was resolute. Megan seemed to know better than to offer something like this to this perfect stranger. So she stayed still.

Instead Megan turned to Chad and proceeded to exchange nonverbal thoughts and looks…significant looks that were driving Mackenzie crazy.

“What did Jensen tell you about his life?” she said hesitantly.

Mackenzie looked at them, her eyes guarded, “That he left when I was five and I got sick and from that time on he took care of me. He sent me money every month, made sure that I was well educated and always taken care of. He would write me letters from various places telling me all about towns and cities that I’ve never been to. He’s been everywhere.”

Megan and Chad exchanged a look and moved to make this as easy as possible.

Mackenzie held out her hand, his palm out stopping whatever the pair was about to say, “He came back for a year or so. He seemed…a little broken. I’m not stupid. I know what he did.”

Chad looked at the books.

“You do?” Megan asked slowly.

Mackenzie shrugged, “I grew up in a whore house. I know what people do to survive.”

It was so blunt that even Chad couldn’t find a response fast enough.

Mackenzie nodded to herself, “I know what my mother did. I know where my roots are. I know that Jensen wasn’t working some road crew at thirteen making enough to support us both.”

Megan nodded slowly, “We should sit down.”

Chad and Megan moved to sit down but Mackenzie looked at the shelf of books and smiled sadly.

“They’re gorgeous books,” Mackenzie said from far away, “You can tell the author struggled, but you can also see some love.”

Megan opened her mouth and Mackenzie stopped her with a stare.

“I’m not stupid,” Mackenzie whispered, a little softer this time, “I’ve seen how hard life can be. I’ve seen shady things and had people try to hurt me. I know what life is and it typically can’t be found in the pages of a book. But I loved a good man for a good many years so I know love and happiness exists.”

They were looking at each other again and Mackenzie felt pain for a brother she barely knew. It made her tongue loose, “You know what? I know what he was, but part of me wanted to believe that he was something more; I want to believe that this Leigh Ross girl was writing about him. The stories and the poems that talked about her lover are so sweet, I mean there is a lot of pain, but there is just something so powerful in those books. I just wanted to believe that maybe after all of his sacrifice he had found something.”

Chad and Megan looked uncomfortable. They were both waiting for the other one to start talking.

Mackenzie looked up at the painting, “I just wanted to believe that the man up there was free and happy and not just some guy’s kept boy still making money by selling himself.”

Mackenzie picked up a book, “I would think of him sometimes and read this,” she picked up a worn copy of the book Of the Distance Crossed by Leigh Ross, “I would think I know that my brother is worth crossing the ocean for, maybe somebody saw it too.”

She blinked and hoped like hell these strangers wouldn’t try to comfort her, she couldn’t stand it right now.

She looked up at the two of them on the couch and sighed as she braced herself for the truth, “He was the artist guy’s kept boy wasn’t he.”

Chad looked at the painting and tilted his head from side to side and Megan stood up quickly.

“No,” she said vehemently.

“Yes,” Chad decided.

They looked at each other.

Megan glared at Chad, “Jensen wasn’t a kept boy. NEVER after he saw you.”

“But he was involved with the artist,” Chad pointed out.

Mackenzie looked at the two of them as if these two strangers wearing black, who had shown up in their dusty new car, might in fact be absolutely crazy.

Megan took a step towards her, trying to figure out how to say what she had come to say, “Those books, the ones you loved, the ones that meant so much to you, well they should mean everything to you, but they weren’t about Jensen.”

Megan could see the confusion on Mackenzie’s face and she looked for the words. Fortunately Chad had no such need to collect himself.

Chad stood next to her, “They’re by Jensen. They describe his epic love which has made us all nauseous for years and years.”

Megan elbowed him in the ribs.

“Jensen wrote those books,” Megan said, “He wrote them about my brother, my brother is the painter.”

“I – I don’t understand,” Mackenzie said weakly.

“Your brother has spent the last thirty years with my brother. My brother worships the ground that your brother walks on and your brother crossed the ocean to be with him,” Megan said softly, waiting for repulsion at the thought of two men together, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Mackenzie steadied herself, her eyes tearing, “And he’s not a kept boy?”

“I know somebody who owns one fourth of his ass,” Chad muttered.

Megan looked at him like his death was imminent and Chad wisely shut up.

Megan shook her head, “Jensen hasn’t been a boy by anyone’s stretch of the imagination for a long time, it’s his sixtieth birthday in two days. He hasn’t been kept for even longer than that. He is completely a force unto himself. He has an empire made with ink stained fingers.”

“I…” Mackenzie said in astonishment, “What happened?”

Megan smiled, “He had a hard life and then he met someone, someone who didn’t want to take him away, but just wanted him to be him.”

Chad snorted, “And then there was an evil lady who tried to ruin that and then love parted ways.”

“And then?” Mackenzie asked, almost daring not to hope.

“Jensen crossed an ocean,” Megan said in hushed tones.

***

1907 - Paris

Jensen stood before the door. It was a door plain and simple. He had seen many in his life, some better, some worse.

It had taken him two years to get to this door and now that he was here, he was quite sure that he was crazy.

Totally Certifiably batshit insane.

Two years ago he hadn’t been crazy. He had stepped aware from Chicago in pain and confused. He walked away with money and a gentleman’s wardrobe.

By the time he had arrived in Texas he had more money than when he started. This time he had money – from selling the clothes off his back instead of his body – and felt a growing apprehension at seeing his little sister for the first time in almost two decades.

He wasn’t crazy then. He knew how to be calm and to keep his composure. Then his little firebrand of a sister had happened and for the first time in his life he was an adult in the world.

For six months he stayed with her and was faced with so many conservative views. It was an adult life, but not one that he recognized. She got him and job and introduced her to his friends and encouraged him to court local girls. It was adult life, but not his. He felt like a fraud. He was under so much pressure to be this normal long lost brother of Mackenzie Ackles that he completely lost who he was.

Jared had been the powder keg that had blown up the glass tower he had lived in and now Jensen was struggling to find the pieces and build up ‘Jensen’ again.

He couldn’t do it in Texas. He didn’t feel like he was moving forwards or going anywhere, he certainly wasn’t moving towards Jared.

So Jensen left Texas using the last of the money from the old days, money from others using his body, to buy his sister a house. It seemed fitting, he just didn’t want to keep the money near and this seemed like a way to undo the taint on the bills, giving it away meant that the was free of it.

His sister was to marry the guy she loved, a guy who was a little bumbling and young, but a man she loved nonetheless.

It made Jensen’s heart ache, with longing.

He missed Jared everyday.

Six months after Jensen arrived in Texas he got on a train with pennies in his pockets and rough materials on his back. He had worked for months for this, making less money than he had been able to earn at thirteen in one day and wearing clothes that were worse than he had worn when he was fifteen. They were scratchy.

Sitting in the train, crossing the country again he found that he never had the opportunity to find out that he didn’t like the third class compartments.

Even through all of that, he felt a little flicker of hope.

He felt good as he left Texas, because what he did have was completely his. He hadn’t made the money for the clothes or this trip on his back. The money that he had was nothing to do with his body; he had made the money with his brain.

When people asked what he was, he could say ‘teacher,’ and it was true. He was proud of it.

He had left his past behind and he would reach Jared by completely respectable means. When he saw Jared it was going to be on honest terms.

However to get that money he had to take a year long teaching position at a prestigious boy’s school in New England.

Which was as daunting task as any he had undertaken.

There were times in his year of teaching, when Jensen seriously considered selling his ass if it meant he didn’t have to deal with bratty, spoiled, rich kids. Teaching these creatures, who thought that they were lofty and worldly, Baudelaire and Voltaire nearly made him give up.

Then he realized something. Jensen realized that part of who he was, he had learned at the house. Jensen found that the poised educated man wasn’t just an act. He actually found that he was adept at it, he loved the literature. He was also good at composing his own writings.

Moreover others saw him in this light and respected him a little.

It was accepted without question that he belonged here, that he belonged teaching in a prestigious atmosphere. The parents doted on him and the boys clamored around him.

Jensen was even more shocked that he was well equipped to deal with the pre-pubescent hellions who ran through these halls.

Although to a certain extent it was more to the fact that he had dealt with Tommy and Mike for so many years that corralling insanity was something that came like second nature.

And it didn’t hurt his association with the boys that he could tell dirtier jokes and dirtier stories than any of the boy’s imaginations, but that was mostly due to his life, which was becoming more and more another person’s life.

The part of him that was always forced to be something for other; wasn’t being forced to be anything anymore and he really found footing he could stand on.

He was a little shocked to find that people really liked him, not for his front or for his bravado, but actually because they liked him.

After his first year teaching he had been showered with offers to stay, to go to another school, but he took the random offer to be a teacher to a rich American family in Paris.

He bought his own way and carried his own clothes and was so proud that he was going to be arriving in Paris his own man, and a man he surprisingly liked.

He was on the boat across the Atlantic when he realized that he may in fact be crazy.

He was stuck on a boat; a mode of transportation he was unhappy to find made him violently ill, under stormy seas. He was stuck in the third class cabins, which were more like being packed in a can and he didn’t like them anymore than he had liked traveling with the common people on the train.

The fourth day he again contemplated selling himself for a comfortable bed with less people in it than had lived in the entire Everleigh house.

However he was saved by the fact that men don’t like their prostitutes with vomit on them.

And the fact that he was unsullied now and he didn’t want to appear before Jared corrupted.

Eventually he got better and he got worse.

The sickness stopped, but his brain kicked in.

That is when he had starting thinking about how completely and utterly stupid it was. People who are romantic believe in things like crossing an ocean for you lover.

Jensen was not a romantic.

Jensen was cynical that love even existed.

Jensen felt insane for making this kind of grand gesture.

He was going to a country, where he barely knew the language, to teach children, which he didn’t really like, in hopes that he might possibly run into someone who probably didn’t even remember that he had once been infatuated with a hooker in Chicago, this now ex-lover would be ashamed of his past and be married with five kids and back to running his family business, forgetting the temporary insanity of the Everleigh Club.

That was one of the more tame scenarios.

Jensen explained this theory a few times to the seagull on board. This seagull had just happened to get stuck on the boat and was going to be rudely transplanted and thrust into a far away land. The seagull would spend the rest of its life confused, but the most confusing thing of this seagull’s life was the ranting drunk man on the ship. –

Jensen was brought back from his reminiscing to look at the door in front of him. To be honest he was a little terrified of this door.

Before Jensen found this door, his insanity had stayed between himself and a random immigrant seagull.

But he was going to touch the door and open it. He was going to make his crazies real.

Jensen had never allowed himself to feel like he was doing something out of his control. He rarely let himself do anything that didn’t have twelve different possible outcomes. Since St. Louis he had never just let go.

But when he had left the states for Paris he had thrown away the safety net.

He was gong to Paris for a guy he didn’t know still wanted him.

When he had stepped off the boat and was bound and determined that this would be okay, because he was tired of ranting to seagulls.

When he reached Paris an even larger problem presented itself, namely the fact that he had no idea how to find Jared in this crowd. He could speak the language, but he was hardly a people person these days. He didn’t know how to ask if someone knew Jared Padalecki. It seemed a bit awkward to put into a conversation.

So on the days that he wasn’t teaching the horrible Alba children he walked the city in hopes that somewhere Jared would be sitting in a café.

After a few months he was quite sure he was crazy.

So he just started drinking in the pubs with some of the other employees of the house. He managed to curb the fact that he was always looking up at the door for a tall head.

He had woken up one morning feeling like his head had been split open and regretting the day he ever met Jared because this was complete insanity. It was the typical start to his days

He walked into the kitchen and the maids there laughed at him and made him coffee.

They flirted outrageously even though they had already learned that there was no point and mocked his behavior last night.

Jensen just waved them off and ignored everything that they said.

“You butcher your French when you’re drunk,” Juliet informed him.

Claudia giggled, “He sounds just like that Padalecki kid.”

Jensen nearly choked on his coffee. They barely noticed; they went on about how the Padalecki kid spoke French with the oddest accent and if he weren’t such a good painter he would be kicked out of France.

“Jared?” Jensen asked with forced calm, “You know Jared?”

Claudia looked at him through thoughtful slatted eyes, “He’s one of the new painters in town, he’s been here for a few years, always running around with that group: his sister, the handsy one, the tall dark and handsome one, the crazy one, and Madame Bush who makes those beautiful clothes.”

That was really all it took. Four months in Paris and an offhand comment did what days of searching couldn’t.

It didn’t take long to find the studio of one Jared Padalecki and here he was, staring at the door, not really wanting to take the next step and walk inside to find that his whirlwind relationship was nothing more than a figment of his imagination.

But for all that Jensen was, he wasn’t a coward. He had crossed the ocean and dealt with children and made friends with seagulls, he was a fucking saint.

He could do anything.

He took a deep breath and willed this to be so.

He knocked on the door, taking a breath to steel himself for whatever happened.

He wasn’t prepared enough though.

A skinny brunette with ridiculously blue eyes opened the door and Jensen chucked the thought that this was in anyway a good idea out the window.

He smiled and poised himself, excuses ready to get away from Jared and his blue eyed girl, “I’m sorry, I have the wrong house.”

The woman just looked at him for a moment and then grabbed his arm before he could scuttle away.

“I don’t think so,” she said clearly in American English, “I think you found the right house.”

The girl looked appraisingly at him, as if she knew him. Jensen wondered when he had become so transparent.

“Jared,” she called into the room, “Get your ass out here.”

“Lexi,” that voice boomed, “I’m in the middle of something! Tell Mike that I don’t need to see any more of his–”

“Just get out here,” the girl said, picking up her hat and pushing Jensen into the room, “You will not regret it and if you do I’ll make out with Chad.”

Jensen wasn’t used to being manhandled by strange women, but as he stepped into the room the sight before him was familiar.

The walls were covered with paintings and most of those paintings were his life eons ago. The Everleigh Club was in those frames, its grandeur exemplified. The rooms, the piano, some of the girls, wearing outfits of all the parties, there were paintings that encapsulated his life, of the only place that he had ever been comfortable.

This made him feel really uncomfortable.

Then he saw something that shook him to his foundation.

The oddest thing one was the far wall, the one that had almost twenty paintings of Jensen. Some of the paintings were portraits, and some of them were almost awkwardly intimate. He saw himself naked and sleeping and more venerable than he ever wanted anyone seeing.

He was laid bare on that wall, every aspect of him was clearly drawn.

He felt so exposed and when he heard that voice he felt as if he was going to fall apart.

“It must be something big if you are willing to have sex with someone you call the eternal douche bag,” the voice said.

He heard a rustle and Jared came into the room, wiping his hands.

“Sorry sir,” Jared said smiling politely, noticing the man in the room.

Jensen’s back was turned so for a minute he could compose himself in hopes that he could be that man on the wall. The one before him was the first day he had met Jared, perfectly dressed and oh so very composed.

Jensen turned around and Jared didn’t show any sign of recognition.

Jensen withered on the spot, figuring that Jared couldn’t possible want this man in the cheap suit and glasses when compared to the glorious man on the wall.

There was a beat.

Jensen saw the exact moment that Jared realized who he was looking at.

Jared was struck dumb for that moment, his jaw literally dropped and he could do nothing but stand there. Jensen averted his eyes under the scrutiny and just looked at the paintings.

“You didn’t forget about me,” Jensen said quietly, not able to look at Jared.

When he was finally able to look up, Jared was standing there with a look that was startled and dazed.

Jensen stood up stoically, he knew he could do this, “I’m sorry it took so long, I just wanted to make sure that I got here on the money that I earned, in the stupid horrible way that normal people do, and I really think that teaching children is a horrible job and I’m probably really insane right now and I don’t know where you are wanting this to go, but I have it on good advice from an errant seagull that you have probably moved on and can you tell me to leave or stay because I’m feeling really weird. Are you sleeping with that girl? Cause I would totally understand after two years, but I’m hoping that I didn’t move all the way to Paris for no reason other than to teach horrible children American History.”

Jared was still staring.

“I had a better speech,” Jensen said finally, rubbing the back of his neck, “I forgot it.”

“Are you…I mean…is this…I think that…” Jared mumbled out, not much better than Jensen’s magnificent speech.

Jensen took a step forward, “You not telling me to get out is good.”

Jared reached out one of his long arms and touched Jensen’s bottom lip, his expression dreamy for a moment. Then he jumped back as if shot.

“You’re here,” Jared said accusingly, not believing it until this moment.

Jensen put his hands on his hips, “I thought my impressive speech and you know…my presence gave that away.”

Jared took a step hesitantly forward and nodded slowly, “You did give a more impressive speech in my imagination.”

“Well you were shorter in mine,” Jensen responded, defaulting to glib.

Jared took a step closer, “You’re here.”

The voice was so little and so full of wonder and was just how Jensen remembered him being, that little boy who was just so in awe of Jensen that anything was enough, everything was okay.

And when Jared closed all the distance between them, then everything was more than okay.

Jared touched lightly and Jensen gave up fear and he gave up his masks. He threw himself at Jared, he didn’t know where he would land, but for the first time he took the jump without looking.

And their mouths were unready and sloppy. The angles were wrong and their hands wanted to grab everywhere at once. Nothing made a lick of sense, but they were tangled together, their bodies moving to find purchase, to feel enough to make this what they always knew it was.

Jared was tugging Jensen roughly to him, like Jensen was going to fly away; Jensen was trying to make his body cling to Jared.

Jared moved his mouth to suck at Jensen’s neck to taste, to remember. It had been too long and this wasn’t enough.

They were desperate, more desperate than they had ever been because if their last time had felt like a last time with lingering touches and needing forever, this one was need and heady because it was a dream that had walked into life.

Jared was reaching those long fingers through layers of clothing, needing to feel and touch something other than just clothes. He needed skin. Jensen shuddered in longing, it had been so very long since anyone had touched him like this and he was drowning in want. His hands were clumsy with need.

They tumbled to the floor, not noticing anything except for lips against skin, fingers against solid muscles and sinew.

Jared mouthed down Jensen’s collarbone, “You’re here.”

It was a prayer, a thank you.

They were out of clothes and wildly together moaning and rutting on the floor. The friction of their bodies together, the arching and the openness of the two of them just made everything that had always been an enigma make sense. Suddenly all was right with the world because they could be together, achingly hard cocks rubbing alongside, skin gliding against skin, just needing and grinding and reminding them that they were no longer alone.

It was all too much and in an embarrassingly short amount of time they both found a climax just from touching, body to body.

It wasn’t enough thought they had to touch more be more together. This was more than just the means to a goal; this was about more kisses and more caresses.

“Oh my holy fuck,” a voice rang out, “Jared Tristan Padalecki what the hell are you doing! What would Jensen think ?”

Jared stilled, burying himself in Jensen’s shoulder in embarrassment, knowing his full naked ass was out there for the owner of little shrill voice to see. The intruders couldn’t see Jensen yet, but Jensen had a good idea of who they were.

Jensen felt something bubble up in his chest, something so free he didn’t think that it belonged to him; it was something that Jared had breathed into him.

“Jensen would think that you have the worst timing,” Jensen said, his voice so light he barely recognized it.

“Jared,” the voice admonished.

Jensen looked up from behind Jared’s head, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Megan,” he admonished, “Seriously Jensen is pissed.”

His giggles and his smile delayed any fear of actual anger.

Jared tried to hide even more into Jensen’s neck as he was sprawled naked on the floor.

Megan and Chad wore similar looks of disbelief.

“You could avert your eyes like normal people,” Jensen admonished them primly.

“Is she staring at my ass?” Jared whispered and Jensen lost it. He had never let go like this before, laughing so hard against the warm, but heavy blanket of Jared.

The two of them left so quickly the door rattled.

It was too late for impropriety though because the two boys were unable to do anything but lay on their backs laughing, their hands interlaced.

Finally the weirdness of the situation got to them.

Here they lay naked on the floor. Finally Jared drew up on his side, head resting on his hand. His other hand traced over Jensen’s freckled skin. They were messy and naked and it was weird, but not awkward.

“What took you so long?” Jared asked quietly, “Was it me?”

“Kinda,” Jensen said, watching those long digits trace over his stomach – they belonged on his naked skin, “I just needed to come here with a resume that didn’t end with ‘brothel employee.’ I had to come here completely on my own merit.”

Jared smiled fondly at him, “I didn’t care.”

Jensen sat up a little and looked at him, “I did. I’m here as a tutor for the Albas. I’m here with money I made from not only a legitimate source but the money that got me here was from a hundred and fifty year old boys school and now I’m teaching for a family with roots to the American revolution. I’m very, very legitimate. I did all that so I could get here. I’m here if you want me, if you’ll have me.”

Jared grin grew, “I told you I would wait here for you. I’m not a liar.”

“Good,” Jensen said the word kind of small and insignificant for the glowing in his stomach and the ease he suddenly felt falling into Jared, like he was supposed to be there, welcomed like the long gone prince.

Jared splayed his hand over Jensen’s hip protectively, and sighed his confession.

“I’m a poor painter,” Jared said, “I’ve got no money, my survival comes from Chad’s benevolence and his trust fund, so I’m not even close to legitimate.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow, “So now I’m the less seedy of the two of us?”

Jared nodded solemnly.

“That doesn’t bode well for us,” Jensen replied.

Jared leant towards him, taking his mouth for all he was worth. He pulled away barely able to breathe, “Us?”

Jensen nuzzled into his neck, “I cannot cross that ocean again. I was so sick and the seagulls will laugh at me.”

That was filed away for later and Jared laughed, “Oh my, you’re making jokes now?”

The banter stopped as Mike bounded into the door followed by Tommy. They just looked at them, naked. After all they didn’t have anything they hadn’t seen before. Tommy lounged on the doorframe and Mike entered into their personal naked space.

He squinted at them and then turned to Tom, “You win, Jenny’s here.”

“Took you long enough,” Tom replied

Jared looked at Jensen, and sighed with knowledge as to where Chad and Megan had run to and what was coming next, “We better get dressed, Sophia will be here soon.”

Jensen groaned.

They got dressed. Family and friends entered into the studio and it was loud and clanging, welcoming Jensen. Jared just sat back, but one of his hands snaked into Jensen’s. Jensen looked up with surprise; this was a new sensation, just being in public holding hands. Daylight streamed through the window and Jared patiently stood there in all the light, in view of everyone, holding his hand.

Jensen closed his eyes

And then opened them.

Jared stood next to him bathed in sunlight, holding onto his hand, watching Jensen in adoration.

“I love you,” Jared said beneath the din.

The chaos around them, Jared next to him, location was nothing, this, for the first time in his life, was something that he could call home.

**

1937 ~ San Antonio, Texas

Mackenzie stepped out of the car and looked at the large house before her. This was unexpected. This was something totally out of her realm of expertise. She had grown up with these people but she had never been a guest in a house like this.

“Why am I doing this?” she muttered.

Megan linked arms with her; the girls had bonded over the car ride from Richardson, much to Chad’s chagrin. He was not looking forward to them getting together with Sophia.

“Because Jensen loves surprises,” Megan said.

Chad snorted, “Jensen hates surprises, but Jared loves them and Jared wanted to surprise Jensen.”

“And Jensen will love it because he loves anything Jared loves,” Mackenzie added.

“Eventually,” Chad included.

Mackenzie stopped, “Jensen isn’t going to want to see me?”

Chad laughed, “Too late now, here comes Jared.”

Mackenzie looked up and saw a tall man with long legs coming towards her. He was a few years older than her, but he held a youthful exuberance in his step.

He looked at her with an easy smile.

“Hello,” he said, taking his sister under his arm.

“So you’re the man who makes my brother happy?” Mackenzie said offering her hand.

Jared scrambled forward and hugged her to him, “Dear lord I hope so.”

“It’s disgusting,” Chad said, shaking dust from his hat.

“You’re also the painter?” Mackenzie asked, “Tristan Ever?”

Jared looked down at his feet, even after all these years it wasn’t used to the adoration that he widely received.

“You’re great,” she said shyly, trying to find a balance.

“My kids are all excellent,” Chad said with pride.

She looked at him curiously, “What does that mean.”

Megan rolled her eyes, “It means that he takes full responsibility for Jensen, Jared, and Sophia. He financed them and owns one fourth of their businesses.”

“You really do own one fourth of his ass,” Mackenzie said recalling his words from earlier.

Chad shrugged, “They worked, I just gave him money. Took ‘em long enough to atleast come somewhere near breaking even.”

“He’s a brilliant businessman,” Megan whispered, “Don’t tell anyone, it might ruin his reputation as a layabout.”

Mackenzie smiled and turned towards Jared, taking him in.

Jared took her hand and pulled her closer.

“Today is Jensen’s sixtieth birthday,” Jared told her, “We know that he thinks of you often, we just wanted you to see him, but you have to be okay with this.”

Jared waved his hand in front of himself.

Mackenzie arched an eyebrow, “With what?”

“With me,” Jared said standing protectively before her, if Chad and Megan were the first line of defense then Jared was the final gatekeeper, they would all protect Jensen. It made Mackenzie’s heart swell that her brother had such caring people in his life,.

Jared bit his lip, “With me being his…”

Mackenzie smiled. Any bigotry she had ever had had faded with the years. She was simply too old and had waited to long to find that kind of hatred for her blood. She had too little left to squander it in anger.

“I’m okay,” Mackenzie said, “I’m fine with you being his.”

And she didn’t say it, but Tristan Ever and Leigh Ross being together was like something she had dreamed into life. There was just something about the paintings and the stories that seemed to mesh.

Jared hugged her, “Welcome. Thank you.”

**

Jensen came out to see Jared engulfing a petite woman and his gait slowed and his smile fell. He slowed, the dogs milling around his feet, wondering what was going on, why he had lost his bounce.

Then Jared turned towards him; the intensity of that white smile was blinding and still warmed Jensen after all these years.

That was his smile. Jensen still found triumph that thirty years hadn’t diminished the fact that the moment Jensen walked in the room Jared could find him and he would be Jared’s whole world.

Even when Jared was hugging strange blonde women.

Jensen’s irrational feelings around Jared had never abated, much to his own chagrin. He would occasionally make some kind of wild assumption, which Jared would cackle at with glee and announce ‘Jensen’s caught the crazies again.’

It barely mattered that he knew Jared wasn’t going to wake up one day and suddenly miss women, but Jensen had worried about such things in the early years in a way that nearly ruined them. Jensen had seemed to be waiting the first ten years for Jared to leave him for wife and family.

Jared had stayed at times only to prove that he wouldn’t leave and prove Jensen’s fears to be genuine. Some days they would be at each other’s throats and Jared would be just too stubborn to leave even though Jensen was goading him into it.

And then Jared would remember that Jensen loved him more than anything else in the world and had never really been in a relationship before, he realized that Jensen was scared and didn’t know who to do this. So Jared would breathe in and be calm and patient.

Jensen would come and give needless apologies and they would work on their relationship, love was easy. Sometimes being together wasn’t.

But they both had stayed because the alternative was not acceptable.

It had worked. He had earned Jensen’s trust and Jensen had fought every fear and insecurity that he had to be with Jared.

Who was currently hugging a little blonde woman.

“Jensen,” Jared bellowed, grinning that anxious look-what-I-have grin, “I got you a present.”

Jensen stopped and looked at the woman who was just watching him, cataloguing him. Jensen felt like he was under some kind of scrutiny. He was a little more annoyed by this woman.

The fact that she was younger than them, but not by much, was able to bother Jensen further. Despite her age she was still pretty, with little green eyes and a pretty mouth.

“You got me a woman?” he said a little more harshly than he meant to, “How delightfully inappropriate.”

The woman stood up taller, her lips pressed in a line. She moved to pull away from Jared, but he kept his arm around her.

“Jensen, show some manners or you’ll feel really stupid in two seconds,” Jared said lightly, knowing Jensen far too well after all these years.

Jensen had learned to heed Jared’s random advice and smiled at the woman.

He tipped his hat, “Ma’am it’s a pleasure.”

She didn’t move.

“I suppose I got older since you last saw me,” she said stepping forward towards Jensen.

Jensen wracked his mind. He had met so many women in his early days. Jared would know the Everleigh girls, but there had been so many and so many years had passed he couldn’t place her. There was something familiar about those green eyes, the mouth, the splattering of freckles, he felt as if he should know her.

“Where did I know you girl?” he asked politely.

She snorted as the name barely fit her.

“The Blue Mesa,” she said coming in front of him.

Jensen’s heart stilled. The Blue Mesa was eons ago in another town in Texas. Blue Mesa was a little illicit house in Dallas that few remembered, but was the place of his earliest memories.

She bit her lip, “We grew up at the Blue Mesa. Last we met you built me a ranch.”

And that was enough of a description that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt who this was.

His eyes went wide because he should have been able to place those features on his face. Those features were all over people’s walls in Jared’s paintings, they were in the mirror every time he looked. He was looking at a more delicate copy of his own face.

“The Double J?” Jensen said hoarsely, “Its still there?”

She nodded, “Been my home for thirty years.”

Jensen moved and grabbed her around the waist.

“Mac,” he whispered in her ear.

“Hi big brother,” she said, not wanting to cry. She had thought that she would never see him again when she had buried Joshua so long ago. Mackenzie had resigned herself to the fact that Jensen was gone.

Jensen couldn’t speak, didn’t want to.

“You named your ranch the Double J?” Jared asked curiously.

Mackenzie looked at him, “It was after an old pair of cufflinks Jensen had.”

Jared grinned goofily, “Really?”

Jensen for all his age and grace blushed.

Mackenzie looked between the two of them; she felt what everyone else had always known. That there was something undeniable between these two men.

She softened.

“It’s good to see you big brother,” she said softly, afraid to let him go.

**

The night went on and Jensen and Mackenzie caught up, stories of her marriage, her children, the death of Josh. They talked late into the night. Jared dozed by the fire and still Mackenzie and Jensen talked on.

Mackenzie couldn’t see the harsh lines of his face in the firelight. He looked soft and young.

“Why didn’t you ever send word?” she finally asked after she had gotten to know him well enough.

Jensen looked over at Jared.

“I didn’t know how you would react,” Jensen finally said simply, “I would have chosen him over you and I didn’t want to have to. I’m not hiding us. I’ve spent too long in the shadows, I guess I just didn’t want to disappoint you, to have you hate me for loving him.”

Mackenzie looked at him hard, “You’re a foolish boy. I know what our family is. I know where we’ve been. It might have been awkward when I was younger, but you are still my brother. I didn’t hate Josh for being a criminal, I didn’t hate him for spending as much time in jail as he did in the free world. I would never hate you for this. Especially seeing the two of you together. It just fits.”

Jensen spread his hands, “I didn’t know.”

“I also was given a good education by my absent older brothers and I can read,” Mackenzie continued, “I’m pretty practical, but your books, the love of Leigh Ross, I get it.”

Jensen just looked at Jared.

“I just want you to be happy,” Mackenzie said, “You deserve to be happy.”

“You barely know me,” Jensen said softly.

Mackenzie shook her head, “You made my life so happy and safe when we were kids, we had no life to speak of, we were raised in the back room of a whore house. There was nothing that should be happy about it. You taught me about Christmas, you taught me about birthdays and when you had to go away you did everything you could to make me okay,” then she smiled at her brother, “You gave me a home to raise my children in.”

Jensen looked back at Jared.

“And you wrote my favorite books,” Mackenzie said, “You made me believe sometimes that maybe being with my husband was actually supposed to be real and happy and that love could exist. I didn’t believe in love, growing up the way we did. I didn’t even believe it much when I fell in love, but the way you wrote, it made me believe that these feelings could be enduring ones.”

Jensen just looked at her, because everything on those pages that were written had been a love song for Jared. They were his heart on paper, he had never thought about what those words could do to others.

Jensen reached out a hand and held hers, “Stay here for a little while and let me know you now.”

“You’re here for awhile?” Mackenzie asked.

Jensen nodded, “Jared’s brother died. This house is now Jared’s, as well as the crumbling but still prosperous Padalecki oil business. We’re here for awhile. You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.”

Mackenzie smiled, “I’d like to stay Jensen, we’ve got some time to catch up on.”

Jensen just looked at Jared, Jared who had given him so much over the years, and now Jared had given him his past, nothing dark and tawdry, just this little woman who made him remember that life didn’t begin at Jared, that he didn’t have to forget everything before.

His past, his present, and his future sat in one room and they seemed to be playing nice.

**

Jensen woke Jared up and they stumbled to bed. Jared pulled him close, it was warm and familiar.

“So you’re rich now,” Jensen said.

“Filthy,” Jared replied.

“Gonna find you a nice boy to keep you company,” Jensen asked burrowing into Jared.

“Too old,” Jared said, nipping at Jensen’s neck, “I’m not going to break someone else in. ‘sides, I still like you ‘nough.”

“Thank goodness for small mercies,” Jensen said, part of him still fearful that someday Jared was going to leave him.

They just lay there together, like so many other nights. Like all the nights yet to come.

“Thank you,” Jared said quietly.

Jensen sat up and looked at him, “For what?”

“For coming to Paris,” Jared said simply, “For taking a chance, for sitting down at that table in the Everleigh Club.”

Jensen traced his arm, his feelings for Jared still as strong as ever.

He couldn’t figure out what to say.

“So where do you want to go?” Jared asked, “I’ve never been able to offer you anything. I can now offer you anywhere.”

“You my sugar daddy now?” Jensen asked lightly, any offense long gone.

“Nah,” Jared said, smoothing the sheets at Jensen’s hips, “I just have thirty years to repay you. Painting never brought in the money like your writing. I feel like I can finally pull my own weight and not be your kept boy.”

Jensen just smiled and touched his lips to Jared’s forehead, “It doesn’t matter. This is home. It doesn’t matter what is outside of our window, as long as this is here I’m home.”

And Jared pulled him back into his warmth.

Jensen closed his eyes and felt the familiar body below him. Jensen had been this man in the bed with him for so much longer than he had been the man all those years ago in that Club.

This was the man that he really was. He had fought to be that man, as much as Jared had fought to be the man beside him. They were the keys that unlocked each other from where the world had put them. They were divided alone and complete together.

They had traveled the hard road and ended up curled around each other.

It was more than they ever hoped to ask for.

“I love you,” Jensen said against Jared’s skin.

Jared’s thumb made lazy circles on Jensen.

“Everyday,” Jared replied, “I love you.”

Jared had found his adventure after all. Life was the greatest adventure.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Congrats! You made it through my overly researched work of love. Have a drink. You deserve it.


End file.
